Marriage with seperate beliefs

[desirexnoel]

Originally Posted by ryanh

[sarcasam]Yeah, and the atonement was for naught, and we must save ourselves through perfection.[/sarcasam]

I was just quoting what Jesus said. Whether I believe that or not was not stated, so there was no need for snarkyness.

[Solsalia]

Originally Posted by desirexnoel

You can't really divorce anyway. Jesus was against divorce.

Matthew 5
32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1 Corinthians 7
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

So you have to work it out. Maybe go to couples counselling.

I hope it all works out. Sorry that things seem to be falling apart.

Best Wishes

Dez

Corinthians Chapter 7
13 And the woman which hath an ahusband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving ahusband is bsanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is csanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.


15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us ato peace.

16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt asave thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Here to me it says if my husband chooses to leave I am not under bondage as we are not married in the temple. He is not LDS.

I have read your references before over and over and the only thing I can get out of it is if someone is leaving because they want to be with someone else or are with someone else, not work it out with their spouse then that is where I see the problem.



If I were to go for the divorce I know it would be for the wrong reasons. If he chooses to divorce then that is his choice. Everyone is free to choose.

Sometimes I wish he would go but that is wrong. Some days are really good and I have felt that maybe we will grow old together. As I think that then we go through another problem. I keep telling myself to endure. Pray as hard as through the good times as the bad times. Gets discouraging as I slack off needing Him then come scrambling back like crazy when it gets hard. Shows me how imperfect and for a lack of better word lazy I am. Today I wanted to talk to someone but I'm sick of talking. I wish I could talk to him. He came home around 2am after partying. I chose this life and face the ultimate regret. I didn't choose someone that had the same values that I had because I wasn't practicing them. I didn't till after we were married and had kids did it become important now to do it.

What to do, kick myself and move on with life. Just wish I could do better so I wouldn't feel like I hadn't given it my all if he leaves. I wish I had a true companion that worked on our marriage and family together. This is so hard.. sick sick sick of it.

[desirexnoel]

Originally Posted by Solsalia

Here to me it says if my husband chooses to leave I am not under bondage as we are not married in the temple. He is not LDS.

It is a bible verse though, so it doesn't pertain just to members of the LDS church.

Originally Posted by Solsalia

I have read your references before over and over and the only thing I can get out of it is if someone is leaving because they want to be with someone else or are with someone else, not work it out with their spouse then that is where I see the problem.

Not really. It is only if the wife is unfaithful. You need to cheat on him first.

Matthew 5
32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

It says if your wife cheats, if is you who caused it, and whoever marries a woman who was married before is also committing adultery.

1 Corinthians 7
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

It says you can separate and never marry again.

Originally Posted by Solsalia

If I were to go for the divorce I know it would be for the wrong reasons. If he chooses to divorce then that is his choice. Everyone is free to choose.

Sometimes I wish he would go but that is wrong. Some days are really good and I have felt that maybe we will grow old together. As I think that then we go through another problem. I keep telling myself to endure. Pray as hard as through the good times as the bad times. Gets discouraging as I slack off needing Him then come scrambling back like crazy when it gets hard. Shows me how imperfect and for a lack of better word lazy I am. Today I wanted to talk to someone but I'm sick of talking. I wish I could talk to him. He came home around 2am after partying. I chose this life and face the ultimate regret. I didn't choose someone that had the same values that I had because I wasn't practicing them. I didn't till after we were married and had kids did it become important now to do it.

What to do, kick myself and move on with life. Just wish I could do better so I wouldn't feel like I hadn't given it my all if he leaves. I wish I had a true companion that worked on our marriage and family together. This is so hard.. sick sick sick of it.

My parents divorced when I was 12. It was hard because I was abused as a child by my dad, and when I moved in with my mom, I realized that a lot of the times I was abused was because my mom told my dad to go and "scare" us into behaving. I learnt a lot about my parents when they divorced that I wouldn't have learnt if they stayed married.
Was divorce a good thing in this case and in my opinion?
For my parents? Sure, they are happy... so I suppose as long as what makes you happy isn't hurting anyone.
Was it good for me and my sisters?
It didn't really make a difference. I went out of a physical abuse situation to a emotional and mental one and ended up moving out at 16.

For your case, if you can talk him into some kind of counseling... if you want to keep the marriage, go for it. Otherwise, you can't force him to be happy with you, and if he isn't happy with you then how can you be happy with him? Isn't that one of the most important things in this life? Is to be happy and make others happy?

Best Wishes,
Dez

[Maxel]

Solsalia-

I'm pretty sure that, if your husband leaves you and you didn't commit adultery, you would be under no condemnation for marrying again- as long as you do everyhing to keep your marriage together.

Keep fighting! Good luck.

[Solsalia]

Thanks again for all input.

For now, things are mellow. Family like. I feel good and I feel closer to heavenly Father. It's kind of like the calm before the storm. I really do hope I don't experience it again but may. I'm enjoying my husband and love being with him and he seems to be happier for now. I know a bump may come again but hoping that he doesn't turn to the bar or someone's party house to try and hide from his problems. I'm thankful for all the uplifting people in my life that really have given me strength. Instead of venting with me about my problems they inspire me and life me up. They tell me all the wonderful things and after I feel elated. I strive to do better instead of focus on myself.

For now, things are awesome. This is when I get scared because I open up my heart again. I know to endure for what God wants me to do will give me strength further on.