A new bill protecting marriage.

[FunkyTown]

New Bill Would Defend Marriage From Sharks | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

This is one bill I believe that everyone can get behind. Let us back Bill S-691.

In fact, I will even send a letter back home to Canada urging my local member of parliament to institute a bill very similar to this one.

[Hemidakota]

Surprising someone here does read 'The Onion'.

WASHINGTON DC—Senator Bill Frist (R–TN) introduced a controversial new bill Tuesday that would severely limit the ability of sharks to "mutilate the institution of marriage until it is completely unrecognizable."

"For too long, we've stood by as our most sacred institution has been thrashed, bit by bit, by these amoral predators," said Frist at a press conference, standing in front of a detailed diagram of a great white shark. "Marriage is a union between one man and one woman, and no shark should come between them with its powerful jaws and massive dorsal fin."

Nice to see the usage of a Shark image of those who seek to destroy the foundations of America fragile institution - MARRIAGE -.

[foreverafter]

There is nothing short of getting rid of No-fault Divorce & making it once again very difficult to get a divorce or remarriage, unless the other spouse did some huge horrific thing, that will save the institution of marriage or families anymore. Without closing the door to divorce, except in very rare cases, nothing else we do will save marriages or our nation from destruction & the coming holocausts foretold by Prophets.

This seems very unlikely to ever happen though, given the fact that today nearly everyone has accepted divorce as a cure for difficult marriages & even Churches allow & even often encourage spouses to abandon their spouse & children for any reason with seemingly no consequences.

There is no real binding marriage in America anymore. Marriage has been relagated to just a lose legal shack up til one or the other wants out. Which makes it an extremely risky venture these days, especially for women. The old protections from abandonment in marriage are non existant anymore.

Maybe when the divorce rate is 90% in a few years, people will finally realize there is a better way than divorce to solve marriage problems, which almost always stems from some form of abuse in the marriage. Putting spouse's in mandatory abuse treatment programs until they repent could save most marriages.

[FunkyTown]

I disagree, forever. If there's one thing that marriage needs to be protected from, it's the jaws of that most ancient predator of the deep: The Shark. Yes, lampreys, eels and the odd divorce might cause a problem, but there is nothing more dangerous than nature's most successful predator to the institution of marriage.

We need more anti-shark legislation, not more talk!

Originally Posted by foreverafter

There is nothing short of getting rid of No-fault Divorce & making it once again very difficult to get a divorce or remarriage, unless the other spouse did some huge horrific thing, that will save the institution of marriage or families anymore. Without closing the door to divorce, except in very rare cases, nothing else we do will save marriages or our nation from destruction & the coming holocausts foretold by Prophets.

This seems very unlikely to ever happen though, given the fact that today nearly everyone has accepted divorce as a cure for difficult marriages & even Churches allow & even often encourage spouses to abandon their spouse & children for any reason with seemingly no consequences.

There is no real marriage in America anymore. Marriage has been relagated to just a lose legal shack up til one or the other wants out. Which makes it an extremely risky venture these days, especially for women. The old protections from abandonment in marriage are not existant anymore.

Maybe when the divorce rate is 90% in a few years, people will finally realize there is a better way than divorce to solve marriage problems, which almost always stems from some form of abuse in the marriage. Putting spouse's in mandatory abuse treatment programs until they repent could save most marriages.

[eternalpromise516]

LOL good one Funky. i LOVE the onion!

it's a joke, foreverafter. it's ok lol...

Funky, you're my hero now

[pam]

Originally Posted by foreverafter

There is nothing short of getting rid of No-fault Divorce & making it once again very difficult to get a divorce or remarriage, unless the other spouse did some huge horrific thing, that will save the institution of marriage or families anymore. Without closing the door to divorce, except in very rare cases, nothing else we do will save marriages or our nation from destruction & the coming holocausts foretold by Prophets.

This seems very unlikely to ever happen though, given the fact that today nearly everyone has accepted divorce as a cure for difficult marriages & even Churches allow & even often encourage spouses to abandon their spouse & children for any reason with seemingly no consequences.

There is no real binding marriage in America anymore. Marriage has been relagated to just a lose legal shack up til one or the other wants out. Which makes it an extremely risky venture these days, especially for women. The old protections from abandonment in marriage are non existant anymore.

Maybe when the divorce rate is 90% in a few years, people will finally realize there is a better way than divorce to solve marriage problems, which almost always stems from some form of abuse in the marriage. Putting spouse's in mandatory abuse treatment programs until they repent could save most marriages.

I so disagree with this. Being one that has been divorced and doing all I could to hold on to a marriage..I find this offensive. It takes two to want a marriage to work. You get to a point where for your own peace of mind and sanity it is best to just end it. And we didn't even have an infidelity problem in our marriage.

Was I wrong in being the one to end our marriage? Hmmm...well seeing how my ex has failed to see his children in 10 years...that shows me the kind of man he was.

[Godless]

Originally Posted by foreverafter

Putting spouse's in mandatory abuse treatment programs until they repent could save most marriages.

Or we could just feed abusive spouses to sharks. Make the problem part of the solution.

[Dravin]

Originally Posted by Godless

Or we could just feed abusive spouses to sharks. Make the problem part of the solution.

It's more fun when you make the solution part of the problem though.

[Just_A_Guy]

I recall reading, during a Family Law Practice course in law school, about a number of statistical studies strongly suggesting that the enactment of no-fault divorce legislation really didn't make much difference on divorce rates.

You think divorces are ugly now? Think about a time when you couldn't get a divorce unless you could prove, through clear and convincing evidence, that your spouse had been unfaithful/abusive. And imagine being unable to get a divorce for abandonment because you can't find your spouse to serve him the proper court papers (really!).

You strengthen marriage by making sure people know what they're doing before they take the plunge--not by turning it into the legal equivalent of the Hotel California ("You can check out anytime you like--but you can never leave").

[eternalpromise516]

maybe put them in a shark cage and dunk them in the ocean for a little bit and see them circling around will solve the problem, make them realize what's at stake and encourage them to work stuff out :P