My husband is in US, I am in the Philippines...we lost contact...

vanghienelson · #1 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 03:09 AM

I am married to a native american here in the Philippines last January 2008. My Bishop solemnized our marriage. I was single and he is divorced to his first wife last year 2000and has 2 kids when we met. He is a returned missionary. I am happy with him though he seldomly visits me here. Last year 2008, he came to visit me 3x - April, August and December. 'Til he left last February this year. He told me he needed to go back to US to work. We lost contact. The last time he texted me is that he said, he doesnt want to come here anymore with reasons i dont know. We didnt discuss his reasons and he doesnt want to talk about it. He has a pending petition for me but he said he will cancel it. I want to preserve our marriage. I want to go to US to talk to him and clear out things coz he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. I want to be with my husband...I want to have kids with him. What will I do? Any help???

pam · #2 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 03:56 AM

Not sure what you are asking of us or what kind of help you expect or want of us.

FunkyTown · #3 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 04:44 AM

Well, if he's a member and you know where he lives, you could always go to LDS Maps and find the name of their stake.

Then, you could contact his Bishop.

ryanh · #4 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 08:20 AM

Kumusta ka vanghienelson!

I'm not sure there is much you can do if he is unwilling. What you describe of his behavior makes me nervous that there is far more going on with him than is readily apparent. I'm reluctant to even refer to him as a 'husband' given what you have described.

I would second the idea of contacting his bishop for assistance in resolving the matter.

Your prediciment seems to be one of the situations Elder Oaks describes where divorce may be justified. It is simply not fair for him to abandon you and leave you stuck in a country where divorce is not allowed. Elder Oaks - Divorce - April 2007 Conference

From wikipedia:

Quote:

Philippine law, in general, does not provide for divorce inside the Philippines. The only exception is with respect to Muslims. In certain circumstances Muslims are allowed to divorce. For those not of the Muslim faith, the law only allows annulment. Article 26 of the Family Code of the Philippines does provide that

Where a marriage between a Filipino citizen and a foreigner is validly celebrated and a divorce is thereafter validly obtained abroad by the alien spouse capacitating him or her to remarry, the Filipino spouse shall have capacity to remarry under Philippine law.[11]
This would seem to apply only if the spouse obtaining the foreign divorce is an alien. However, the Supreme Court of the Philippines declared in the case of RP vs. Orbecidio

[..] we are unanimous in our holding that Paragraph 2 of Article 26 of the Family Code (E.O. No. 209, as amended by E.O. No. 227), should be interpreted to allow a Filipino citizen, who has been divorced by a spouse who had acquired foreign citizenship and remarried, also to remarry.[12]

pam · #5 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 12:47 PM

You are so right ryanh. I had forgotten that divorce was not allowed in that country. That truly puts a new light on the entire situation.

#6 (**permalink**) 08-11-2009, 08:49 PM

What a bum... that's all I can think of right now.

vanghienelson · #7 (**permalink**) 08-12-2009, 11:32 PM

My husband is a member. His membership record is in Leupp but he is not staying there anymore. The last time i know is he is attending to other ward in Mesa but I'm not sure coz he doesnt talk to me anymore. I talked to my bishop about this. He told me he emailed my husband's stake president in AZ already but until now, there's no reply. I need to see my husband. When we are together, we are ok. Problems like these arise only when he is far from me. I think my presence will change his mind...but how can I see him? I need to apply for a visa to get there but I have a pending petition which i dont know if it is cancelled already or not. I want to fix the marriage and the only solution I think is to see him personally... The problem is, how can I get there? I dont have much money. I am working but earning just enough. I really don't know what to do.....

vanghienelson · #8 (**permalink**) 08-12-2009, 11:57 PM

Thank you so much. LDS Map helps me a lot. I will contact their Bishop now. Thank you....

vanghienelson · #9 (**permalink**) 08-12-2009, 11:59 PM

Thank you. Learned something from the article from Ensign you sent. Thank you so much!

glow_inthe_dark_girl · #10 (**permalink**) 08-13-2009, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanghienelson

My husband is a member. His membership record is in Leupp but he is not staying there anymore. The last time i know is he is attending to other ward in Mesa but I'm not sure coz he doesnt talk to me anymore. I talked to my bishop about this. He told me he emailed my husband's stake president in AZ already but until now, there's no reply. I need to see my husband. When we are together, we are ok. Problems like these arise only when he is far from me. I think my presence will change his mind...but how can I see him? I need to apply for a visa to get there but I have a pending petition which i dont know if it is cancelled already or not. I want to fix the marriage and the only solution I think is to see him personally... The problem is, how can I get there? I dont have much money. I am working but earning just enough. I really don't know what to do.....

may be not what you want to hear, but if you and your husband are ok only when u are together I dont think that is a good sign, there is obviously something going on in his life in the us that makes him change his mind about your marriage, in order to fix it , the effort of both is required, you can not fix it on your own if he is not willing to do so. I'm sorry but it´s true.