Good Information

[lestertheemt]

Came across this today and thought that it was some really good information...........

“I don't think that healing is about getting one's needs met, and I don't think marriage is about getting one's needs met either. Instead I think marriage is a place in which we are given the opportunity to learn how to love, the opportunity to see where we most need to heal ourselves, and the opportunity to help another to heal him or herself. Our mates are not intended to be perfect, and we are not supposed to fix them so that they are or leave them if we can't fix them to our liking. In fact, it is in the very imperfections of our mates, and ourselves, that we can find the greatest opportunities for us to grow as people. It is not a lack in our mates but a hole in ourselves that most often needs filling.”
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"The 'Me" Generation may have left the headlines, but it doesn't appear to be dead yet. We are still more concerned with getting than with giving. We treat our spouses as if they exist only to please us; we assume that, like our other possessions, they have to function perfectly or we will toss them out. We tend to see marriage like we see an automobile purchase: when the car develops problems, the answer is to trade it in. There are few counterparts among the married to the classic car enthusiasts who will tend their vehicles with loving care and keep them running for twenty, thirty, or fifty years. As has been noted before, our throwaway culture extends to people." Lynn Christine Holaday

For Better, For Worse - Utah Marriage - utahmarriage.org

StrongerMarriage.org - Needs Improvement

Just wanted to share...

[Maxel]

Not entirely in line with your linked articles, lester, but I also came across an article I consider a good read concerning the recent trend to marry later, and the real harm it can cause a person. It focuses on the maturity and right mindset required to enter marriage, but stresses that marriage is a "formative institution, [not an] institution [one] enter[s] once [one thinks one is] fully formed". I also like what the author had to say about weddings- how they've become far too grandiose and complicated, with the attention focused on the celebrations surrounding the marriage instead of the marriage itself.

The Case for Early Marriage



Some quotes:

"...[S]uccessful marriages are less about the right personalities than about the right practices, like persistent communication and conflict resolution, along with the ability to handle the cyclical nature of so much about marriage, and a bedrock commitment to its sacred unity. Indeed, marriage research confirms that couples who view their marriages as sacred covenants are far better off than those who don't.

Toward this end, pastors, premarital counselors, and Christian friends must be free to speak frankly into the lives of those seeking their counsel about marriage. While it may be nice to find an optimal match in marriage, it cannot hold a candle to sharing a mental and spiritual commitment to the enduring covenant between God, man, and woman. It just can't. People change. Chemistry wanes. Covenants don't. " (emphasis mine)

"...[I]nsiders know that a good marriage is hard work, and that its challenges often begin immediately. The abstinence industry perpetuates a blissful myth; too much is made of the explosively rewarding marital sex life awaiting abstainers. The fact is that God makes no promises of great sex to those who wait. Some experience difficult marriages. Spouses wander. Others cannot conceive children.

In reality, spouses learn marriage, just like they learn communication, child-rearing, or making love. Unfortunately, education about marriage is now sadly perceived as self-obvious, juvenile, or feminine, the domain of disparaged home economics courses. Nothing could be further from the truth. "