How do you cope with leaving emotional attachments on a mission?

KenTheRealtor · #1 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 10:13 PM

I am leaning towards going on a mission finally, but I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

I am 21 now and I have been saying for years that I"m not going on a mission, and that my life would have to be so boring and empty for me to even consider it. Well the lord must have heard me say that because I am falling off the edge so far to where it is going to be that I have nothing to leave behind here in Ohio.

My life is so boring and mundane. I work at Taco Bell as a shift manager, I attend college part time. I was doing pretty good in real estate and my ebay business, but they both fell apart completely.

There really is only 1 thing that stands in my way. My attachment with my 7 year old brother. I have another brother and 4 sisters, but they aren't nearly as close. I also have pets that I would miss too. We are so close that we both feel lonely when we are apart for a week vacation, and 2 years makes me think like no way.

It is hard for most people to understand, because nobody really sees what a 21 year old and a 7 year old would have in common.

A couple weeks ago when I couldn't make it to our family vacation cottage in Southern Ohio, my brother said he didn't even want to go because I wasn't going, and on off school nights he puts a sleeping bag on the floor of my room and sleeps in there with the tv on.

It isn't just that though. I don't feel I can give up a lot of things that I do for fun to. Like going to sporting events which I love, performing in community theatre.

You will laugh at this, but I would die if one of the Cleveland sports teams won a championship when I was away. I think if I was on a mission I'd sneak out to a sports bar to watch the games if it was a championship. LOL.

But all joking aside, how did all of you deal with issues like these.

Did the 2 years seem long and did you want it to be over with after several months?

tubaloth · #2 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 10:31 PM

What you are going through is normal. Most guys (and probably sisters) don't want to give up there life. Thats kind of why a mission is a sacrifice.

I'm probably the biggest mommas boy you well find. I got home six almost every scout camp I went on. I love video games so much that I rented the Nintendo 64 the week before I left on my mission (it had just came out).

But, with all that said, I always knew I was going to go on a mission. Because my birthday is in the fall there was no time for me to even try any college. I just knew that my life for the most part I had joy! I knew it had to be become of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Then at the time this probably was one of my favorite scriptures

Quote:

(Mosiah 2:23-24.)
23 And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him.
24 And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast?

I knew then that going on a mission was pretty small compared to all that God (and Christ) had done for me. If I could just help others feel as I felt, it was worth it.

Yes, you have second thoughts while you are in the MTC and probably while you are on your mission thinking what in the world am I doing. But it is still worth it! You do give up all your music, TV, Movies, and Video games you think you can't live with out them, but you can! And its still worth it. I was a pretty big Basketball/Jazz fan. It just happens to be that the two years I was gone is the two years Jazz went to the finals! I think back about that now, but at the time I didn't really bother me. (I guess if the Lord is testing me he knew how to test me). But it was still worth it!
You are going to have companions you love, and some you hate! You are going to have days that you love being a missionary and never want it to stop, and there are days you well want to come home! But in the end its still worth it!

What a mission well do for you is far more then anything you can do on your own! Even more, you should set a good example for your other brothers and sisters! Yes your 7 year old brother well grow up more with out you there! You well miss some of those times! But you also well be able show Him, what is most important! And its not Sports teams, or TV or what ever else! Its the Lord that is important! And, I can't see anything cooler then getting letters/tapes from your younger brothers and sisters! You come to realize more why you want an eternal family! But more you can show your brother what the Lord wants is most important!

BenRaines · #3 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 10:48 PM

This may sound harsh but a mission is not about you. It is about service. To serve him who gave all so that you would live again. It is not about learning a language, going to a foreign country, etc. It is about serving God and his Son, Jesus Christ.

Good luck in your search to decide what you will do.

Ben Raines

pam · #4 (**permalink**) 10-25-2008, 11:18 PM

Christ gave us the ultimate sacrifice. Could you not sacrifice 2 years for Him? Are sporting events and community theatre more important than serving? It's all about priorities. Are we thinking about ourself or about serving as Ben stated above.

Misshalfway · #5 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 08:24 AM

Feeling homesick is normal. Missing the people you love and the things you do together is, I think, to be expected. I know some missionaries who were homesick from the second they hugged their parents at the MTC door and those who never thought they would be, but suddenly felt the sadness of being away.

I think having these feelings is good. And passing thru the disciplining of ones mind and heart, even better!

Having these feelings really isn't the issue. It is what you do with them that is the true mark of character. I believe that is what your question was..... How do missionaries deal?

Well, they get to work! They don't allow themselves to marinate in thoughts of home. They live in the now in focus and discipline, and open themselves to the unseen blessings and gifts that the Lord wants give them.

I never became homesick. But, there were days when I did absolutely want to go home. Battling discouragement is common in missionary work. But you know, that is just part of the journey....but you can add that to all the other opportunities you get for refinement and it really IS worth it.

I think you are looking at all you might lose by going. What about switching your focus to all you might gain? You trade a little sport and music, and the Lord opens his treasures! And they are treasures he fashions into the person he makes you and the amazing experience you couldn't have gotten any other way. Noodle on that for a bit......

You know, by the end of my mission, I didn't want to go home. I extended for another month. And even then, it was so hard to say goodbye and get on the plane....and even harder to take off my badge.

john doe · #6 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 08:44 AM

I have to be brutally honest. The chances of a Cleveland team winning any kind of championship in the next 5 years is next to astronomical. Go on the mission, be a good example to the little guy, bury yourself in the Lord's work, and the time will fly.

And if King James (1) actually sticks around, and (2) manages to win something while you're gone, at least you will be able to tell all your friends and family that you know you were where the Lord wanted you to be when it all happened. But I wouldn't count on either (1) or (2) happening.

Starfish · #7 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 09:40 AM

Hi Ken, Heavenly Father will take care of your brother. Trust me, but more important, trust Him. Your entire family will be blessed by your mission. I know, because I've been the one left home several times. I've been the little sister, girlfriend and mother.

KenTheRealtor · #8 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 09:49 AM

Well if the Indians win the World Series next year I'll be satisfied I guess, lol.

It is harder to understand if you're not from Cleveland. The last time our city won a championship was the Browns in 1964, before that the Indians in 1948. The next time will be critical and if I miss that, that is something I'll never get back. I guess that sounds stupid to some of you. Maybe I'll find a way to bootleg it on the internet on my mission if and when it should happen.

Thanks for the input guys.

skippy740 · #9 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 10:05 AM

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda (SW III)

You're thinking about it! That's good!

But you really shouldn't make the decision based on missing friends, family & sports.

Your next step (I think) should be in how you can become more active in your church callings and service.

My personal prescription? Home Teaching with a companion. If you're not doing this, I would encourage you to start. Start teaching a couple of families over the next few months.

Then analyze how you feel doing this. Is this something that you would enjoy doing for the Savior in his service for 2 years?

I believe it is only after doing some service that you can commit to the missionary commitment of service.

(This was what worked for me before I left on my mission when I was 21. I was also serving in the Elder's Quorum presidency as well.)

BTW, there's NOTHING like a mission to help you hone in your prospecting skills for your real estate career!

BenRaines · #10 (**permalink**) 10-26-2008, 10:32 AM

Ken, It will be at least a couple of years before the real estate market comes back. If you are worthy hurry and go now so you won't miss the next real estate market upturn. You may even learn another language and be able to add to your client base. All said tongue in cheek.

Ben Raines