Blessings And Worthiness

[MorningStar]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least

[snipe123]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least [/b]

Hey morning star...Fortunately I do not have the porn problem...I recently remarried my x-wife in October (may have read the story already so I won't go into it) and I also returned to the church in April after a three year absense(have told that story too...haha) and am currently in a disfellowhipped status (told that one also...haha) and I cannot use my priesthood while under that particular status...This is not common knowledge in the ward, since I just moved to the one my wife was in, but a few of the relevent people know...I asked our home teacher who had looked after my wife and kids for the last three years (in my abcense) to give the kids blessings before they started their school year (ages 5, 8, 11) and my fahter-in-law will be giving my Son the priesthood this Sunday (he turns 12 on friday...)...I would never give a blssing unless I was concidered worthy...I would also encourage any man who does this, to be a man, and humble himself and take the small bit of shame that might occur because "someone knows" as part of the consequence of your actions and then repent...I am missing out on some great experiences as a result of my choices, but I am also taking the steps necessary to insure that I never participate in any priesthood function when my worthiness is in question...As I sit in sacrament on Sunday and do not take the sacrament, I don't concern myself with who sees and who doesn't because I have a repentent attitude...I don't say that out of pride, but in gratitude that God has given me the right perspective...My kids simply know that Dad is repenting and they smiled when we explained it to them...I think most members who understand Luke 15 will likewise smile if they see someone not take the sacrament...It shows they are not hiding their sins, but facing them, and overcoming them...I have a new and improved perspective on the sacrament as the ordinance that it is, its cleansing power etc...I hope everyone sees it this way...I also hope that your Stake President holds such a meeting so that men in your Stake will understand the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood that they are violating, and that they will come to understand the needs of their wives...in the meantime, I hope they will allow a bishop, or hometeacher to step in and provide a blessing where it is needed...Oh, and I should be back in full fellowship by May or June...I have run from The Great and Spacious Building by leaps and bounds and have never looked back! Happy me... HAHA

[HiJolly]

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest?[/b]

I used to struggle with worthiness issues, too. I hated not feeling worthy to give blessings, but certainly didn't want to stop my wife/kids from receiving them. So I didn't mind going to the HT or good friends for a blessing. Sometimes awkward questions were asked, but I didn't give any reason as to why I wouldn't do it myself. I know some men would rather damn themselves than do that, but at least I didn't have that problem.

Then I started thinking about certain priests in the ward who blessed the sacrament unworthily. I don't think that their unworthiness kept the sacrament from blessing the lives of the members. It may have condemned the priests, but not the members. So, too, I think that a blessing from an unworthy father is not good for the father, but can still heal or bless the recipient. So...


HiJolly

[MorningStar]

I used to struggle with worthiness issues, too. I hated not feeling worthy to give blessings, but certainly didn't want to stop my wife/kids from receiving them. So I didn't mind going to the HT or good friends for a blessing. Sometimes awkward questions were asked, but I didn't give any reason as to why I wouldn't do it myself. I know some men would rather damn themselves than do that, but at least I didn't have that problem.

Then I started thinking about certain priests in the ward who blessed the sacrament unworthily. I don't think that their unworthiness kept the sacrament from blessing the lives of the members. It may have condemned the priests, but not the members. So, too, I think that a blessing from an unworthy father is not good for the father, but can still heal or bless the recipient. So...
HiJolly[/b]

That's wonderful that you had enough humility to wait until you were worthy. It's been really awkward for a friend of mine because her husband gives all sorts of excuses as to why he won't do it, saying, "Geez, why don't you just go to the doctor" and that sort of thing. When she finally said she was going to have someone else do it, then he stepped up, but she thinks it was because he didn't want her to think he was having issues. She has confronted him about her suspicions, but he keeps denying it. Actually, he denies it by asking, "Why would I do that?"

When a man does give a blessing unworthily, do you think the Spirit speaks to him just long enough to give it? Sometimes I wonder if they would just have to fake their way through it.

[MorningStar]

Hey morning star...Fortunately I do not have the porn problem...I recently remarried my x-wife in October (may have read the story already so I won't go into it) and I also returned to the church in April after a three year absense(have told that story too...haha) and am currently in a disfellowhipped status (told that one also...haha) and I cannot use my priesthood while under that particular status...This is not common knowledge in the ward, since I just moved to the one my wife was in, but a few of the relevent people know...I asked our home teacher who had looked after my wife and kids for the last three years (in my abcense) to give the kids blessings before they started their school year (ages 5, 8, 11) and my fahter-in-law will be giving my Son the priesthood this Sunday (he turns 12 on friday...)...I would never give a blssing unless I was concidered worthy...I would also encourage any man who does this, to be a man, and humble himself and take the small bit of shame that might occur because "someone knows" as part of the consequence of your actions and then repent...I am missing out on some great experiences as a result of my choices, but I am also taking the steps necessary to insure that I never participate in any priesthood function when my worthiness is in question...As I sit in sacrament on Sunday and do not take the sacrament, I don't concern myself with who sees and who doesn't because I have a repentent attitude...I don't say that out of pride, but in gratitude that God has given me the right perspective...My kids simply know that Dad is repenting and they smiled when we explained it to them...I think most members who understand Luke 15 will likewise smile if they see someone not take the sacrament...It shows they are not hiding their sins, but facing them, and overcoming them...I have a new and improved perspective on the sacrament as the ordinance that it is, its cleansing power etc...I hope everyone sees it this way...I also hope that your Stake President holds such a meeting so that men in your Stake will understand the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood that they are violating, and that they will come to understand the needs of their wives...in the meantime, I hope they will allow a bishop, or hometeacher to step in and provide a blessing where it is needed...Oh, and I should be back in full fellowship by May or June...I have run from The Great and Spacious Building by leaps and bounds and have never looked back! Happy me... HAHA[/b]

Wow, it sounds like you're handling things really well. I'm happy for you! I'm glad you didn't withhold any blessings from your family.

[jadams_4040]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least [/b]

What i want to know is just how do the "un" worthy preisthood holders give blessings and feel good about it? and how can they put on such a convincing show? At least some do as you say and not give blessings, but others do even though they are not worthy and it doesnt seem to bother them.????

[MorningStar]

I think they do feel bad, but the thought of their wives leaving them makes them feel worse.

[jadams_4040]

I think they do feel bad, but the thought of their wives leaving them makes them feel worse.[/b]

Yer probably correct! And i would want to thank you for speaking on this subject in the first place. We all need {all members} for you woman to help make sure this Holy preisthood is honored by every preisthood holder. And the Woman,Wife,Mother,Grandmother, is a very powerfull force in which to help make sure the pristhood holder honors this wonderfull blessing, w/out it what would we have? And w/out worthyness we dont have the preisthood.
Thank you for brining this subject into the limelight, And now i myself am going to push this issue at every opportunity from now on. Thank you!

[MorningStar]

Yer probably correct! And i would want to thank you for speaking on this subject in the first place. We all need {all members} for you woman to help make sure this Holy preisthood is honored by every preisthood holder. And the Woman,Wife,Mother,Grandmother, is a very powerfull force in which to help make sure the pristhood holder honors this wonderfull blessing, w/out it what would we have? And w/out worthyness we dont have the preisthood.
Thank you for brining this subject into the limelight, And now i myself am going to push this issue at every opportunity from now on. Thank you!
[/b]

Thanks, jadams.

[JohnBirchSociety]

Several of my friends have had problems with their husbands refusing them blessings and it turns out later that they were having worthiness issues and didn't want to give a blessing unworthily, but didn't want their wives to know that they had done.

For a woman whose husband drags his feet about giving her or their children a blessing, what do you suggest? A friend of mine recently wanted a blessing and her husband wouldn't do it. He didn't decide to do it until she said she was going to ask someone else. She thinks he decided to do it because he didn't want the men to know that he had a problem. She very strongly suspects that he has a porn problem and after he gave her the blessing, she wasn't sure it was inspired.

As a wife, I wouldn't want my husband to feel pressured into giving me one, but if I need a blessing, I deserve to have access to the priesthood. If a man has a worthiness issue, he will do pretty much anything to cover his sin if he thinks his wife will leave him. How does a woman approach this issue without making him feel like now he absolutely has to give her a blessing? Should she just go somewhere else without telling him?

Our bishop came to talk to Relief Society about priesthood issues recently, and I brought this up. I mentioned how my friend's husband wouldn't bless their daughter. He kept saying, "Nah. She'll be OK." It turned out, she had a kidney infection. I said to the bishop, "If women had the priesthood - I'm not saying I want them to, but if we did, there is nothing that would stop us from blessing our children or making sure they received a blessing." One sister said that men are just different that way when I asked, "And why doesn't it ever seem like it's even the dad's idea to give their own child a blessing?" Maybe it's the tendency that dads have to teach their kids to just grin and bear it? I don't know.

The bishop said maybe we should have a combined meeting about this and emphasize to priesthood holders how much we rely on them. We can't afford for them to be unworthy when we desperately need them. According to our stake president, over 50% of the men in our stake are addicted to pornography. At least [/b]

I firmly believe it is the Patriarchal right of the Father / Husband to bless his children / wife, regardless of being "worthy" (whatever that means?).

It is sad indeed that this EXCLUSIVE right has been intruded upon by the Church. The Church needs to get its' nose out of the way of Father's / Husband's. They are the head of the home, period.