Is there a lesson on infidelity in Priesthood?

[mtkat]

I am sorry to post here, I just wondered if there was ever a lesson or talk given to the priesthood about infidelity that was wrong even if it did'nt lead to sex. My husband has done this and acts like nothing happened even though he tried his best to get the woman to have sex with him and take"their relationship" further.

The biggest hurt for me, as his wife, is that he doesn't seem to realize how broken I feel and wants to "move forward" and pretend like it didn't happen.

Everything I find only really talks about the sex act itself as being wrong ,. Can anyone help me to show my husband that even the emotional betrayla and the fact that he confided in this woman about OUR sex life and relationship and the fact that he told her he loved her was wrong and hurtful too?

He says he knows it was wrong, but it could have been worse.

Also, the whole time he was wearing his garments and praying with me every night and morning and all, & I- Does anyone have ANY insight on HOW he could do this?

And do you think he could do it and still love me? He says he DOES love me but also that he doesn't love me the way a husband should love a wife, but he still wants to be intimate and also says he'd be jealous if another man showed interest in me- isn't that the way a husband loves a wife? And he said if he loved me the right way, he wouldn't have done this to us.

Please refer me to any talks artcilces or lessons that might help us. Thank you.

[a-train]

No priesthood holder in this Church can play stupid on the subject of unfaithfulness to his spouse.

Matt 5:28: 'But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.'

This verse is often found in every lesson on the subject of chastity. I have heard it time and time again in Church lessons for the past 30 years.

I'll tell you how he could have done this: He is a low down dirty dog. Get over it.

Now this doesn't mean this can't be fixed. This doesn't mean he will never be straightened out and you will never have him to be a good husband again. Follow whatever counsel you receive from the Bishop. Be an example of charity and love and don't let anger get the best of you.

God Bless

-a-train

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

In addition to the advise people would give you on this thread, I'd suggest you get a lawyer too. Unrepentant sinners of this stripe could do more than wreck a marriage, they can also rob you blind and dump you into poverty.

Are there children involved? If so, think of their best interests as well.

Good luck - let us know how things go.

LM

[Gwen]

Originally Posted by a-train

No priesthood holder in this Church can play stupid on the subject of unfaithfulness to his spouse.

Matt 5:28: 'But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.'

This verse is often found in every lesson on the subject of chastity. I have heard it time and time again in Church lessons for the past 30 years.

I'll tell you how he could have done this: He is a low down dirty dog. Get over it.

Now this doesn't mean this can't be fixed. This doesn't mean he will never be straightened out and you will never have him to be a good husband again. Follow whatever counsel you receive from the Bishop. Be an example of charity and love and don't let anger get the best of you.

God Bless

-a-train

i can agree with all said but what i bolded. "get over it" is a bit cold for the situation. in my opinion.

[the_jason]

Sometimes cold is necessary. She's not going to be able to get past this if she continues to dwell on it. She will have to get over it if she's to heal.

[Gwen]

yes we all have to "get over" some things. there is a time and a place for that. not usually day one. she has a right to be upset right now, he seems to be refusing to admit that anything wrong was done to begin with. that isn't the time to "get over it". when he tries to get things right and do right by her then it's time, or if they divorce over this it will be time. but right now she has a right to her hurt, frustration and anger. she has a right to feel the way she does, to say get over it suggests she does not, that she is the one at fault. that's cold and in my opinion isn't helpful. no one is compleatly innocent of any situation they find themselves in. there are almost always, "i could have done better...." i'm sure there are things both need to do differently. but there is a huge difference in being an imperfect person that is learning and growing as you go along and outright sin. what he did is a sin reguardless of how good a wife she may be, or how many mistakes she has made. there are times when "cold" or "straight up" or "bold" or "frank" methods are needed when speaking to someone. there are also times and ppl that should be doing that, a marriage counselor or very very close friend for example.

[MorningStar]

I'm sure there is a lesson on that in priesthood, but it doesn't sound like it would sink in with your husband since he's so set on being right. It's all about intent. If that woman had consented, your husband would've committed adultery. Not having the opportunity doesn't excuse that.

Please remember that we are required to forgive, but you can forgive and give consequences. My friend struggled with her husband for years as he cheated on her and she finally had to say, "I love you, but you are hurting me and I can't let this go on anymore." She is an amazing, forgiving woman and she still hurts over this sometimes. It's hard to explain to their three boys why they're not together anymore. He never even said sorry to her, but his new wife passed on how horrible he felt.

I told my husband that if he cheated on me, I would have to leave. Risking my health, life, and fertility is where I draw the line. My friend's mom got Chlamydia from her husband. There are some STD's that silently wreak havoc on your reproductive system.

Have you talked to your bishop about this? If so, what did he have to say about it?

Finding out you've been betrayed is like suffering a death. "Get over it" is not helpful or compassionate.

[PentiumInside]

That is unfortunate and I am sorry for your family. The very next thing that absolutely needs to happen after he tells you is....you both go to the bishop. You will get a feel for his level of repentance by his willingness to confess and move past it in the righteous way the Lord has perscribed.

[Mahonri]

I would think that if it went down as you say it did, that at the VERY LEAST he should have gone before a bishop's council. He should have his priesthood tried.

Perhaps that's why I'm not in a position to do that anymore.

But that's my 2 cents worth.

If you love him, you'll need to pray to be able to forgive and FORGET, and he'll need to show true repentance, otherwise, you are wasting good time with a looser.

[Mahonri]

Also, as has been mentioned,

The scriptures are clear...

He that looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath already committed adultery in his heart.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery, NOR ANYTHING LIKE UNTO IT."

I'd say that includes pornography, masturbation, kissing someone not his wife, fondling someone not his wife etc...