I'm Nervous for Temple Marriage - Need Advice

[NormalMormon]

I have some questions about getting married in the temple. My husband and I are already civilly married, but we want to go to the temple this year. My family aren't members, so we decided to have a civil wedding first, then get sealing in the temple later. Due to school and work though, it's been two whole years since our wedding and we haven't gotten sealed yet! I have a few questions, and maybe you can help me.

1. Is the attire and "ceremony" for a sealing after the couple is married civilly any different? Is there anything I'm not "allowed" to wear or shouldn't wear because him and I are already married? Is the ceremony very different? What can I expect?

2. We are going to take temple "prep" classes. What can I expect?

3. I have heard many members leaving the church after the temple because they thought it was so scary and weird. I know I'm not supposed to know before I go, but I am afraid that it will totally freak me out. I don't want to go to some anti-mormon website and find out exactly what goes on and how it freaked people out, but I need to know what to expect.

4. If I end up getting pregnant before we go to the temple, is that different or worse than if I were to get pregnant afterwards? I'm not sure how it works.

5. I live in Southern Idaho and we would like to know which temples you all like. We are having a hard time deciding because our family is spread out over this area, so any one would work really. Which ones did you guys think were particularly beautiful?

I am sure I will come up with more questions, but thank for your answers.

[Elgama]

1. Is the attire and "ceremony" for a sealing after the couple is married civilly any different? Is there anything I'm not "allowed" to wear or shouldn't wear because him and I are already married? Is the ceremony very different? What can I expect?

I am assuming its the same we can only get married here in the Temple after a civil ceremony. I just wore a simple temple dress for mine, for inside the temple you need long sleeves and below the knee if you want something fancier for the pictures then youwill need a long sleeved top for underneath. I wore my temple dress for both the civil and temple.

2. We are going to take temple "prep" classes. What can I expect?

tbh I found mine a bit of a waste of time - I had been baptised 10 years by that point and its was things I already knew. But it should help calm your nerves

3. I have heard many members leaving the church after the temple because they thought it was so scary and weird. I know I'm not supposed to know before I go, but I am afraid that it will totally freak me out. I don't want to go to some anti-mormon website and find out exactly what goes on and how it freaked people out, but I need to know what to expect.

Best Advice I got was to not pay attention, don't expect anything, be prepared for it to be unfamiliar and go back very soon afterwards, try at least 5 or 6 times. There is nothing weird to the sealing ceremony it is short and simple. Take a sister with you, you trust and who has a calm spirit and pray before you enter also I would do your endownment and go through a few times before you are sealed

4. If I end up getting pregnant before we go to the temple, is that different or worse than if I were to get pregnant afterwards? I'm not sure how it works.

your married it should be a none issue, except for choice of dress and it should be even more beautiful.

5. I live in Southern Idaho and we would like to know which temples you all like. We are having a hard time deciding because our family is spread out over this area, so any one would work really. Which ones did you guys think were particularly beautiful?

Never been to Idaho - I would personally choose a smaller temple its less intimidating and in my experience the Temple Workers have more time and tend to be more relaxed than in a bigger temple - my favourites are London and San Diego so not much use to you

-Charley

[checkerboy]

The one thing that I want to point out is that if you have been studying your scriptures and paying attention in sunday school then nothing you learn in the temple will come as a shock. Basically the temple is about making covenants and you will be asked to make some there. Your sealing is a covenant as well. Realize that you will have many many opportunities to return to the temple so don't get overwhelmed.

I live in Idaho Falls and I think the IF temple is a great one. Just my opinion though.

[Elgama]

Checkerboy is right if you read your scriptures really the teachings are nothing new but you have a stronger spirit and time to contemplate them your understanding grows as a result- I find Hebrews and Isiah are helping me understand it more right now. I am sure other scriptures will take precedence at some stage but right now they are where I am at

-Charley

[Misshalfway]

hello NM,
I would love to talk to you about the temple. Have you been to a pre-dedication tour? Or have you looked at pictures of the different rooms? I think they convey feelings of peace.....a reflection of what it is like inside the temple.

1. The temple sealing is the same for everyone. The clothing is the same for everyone. The clothing is white. Women can choose what style of white dress they would like to wear. Lots of LDS temple clothing stores are in Idaho. It just has to be very modest and simple. I am sure you can search online for a dress that makes you feel beautiful. Then you will need to purchase the temple robes and garments. They are found at distribution centers. Your class will help direct you. You can see the robes and buy ones that are in your size. That will help to get you familiar before you go. During your sealing, you wear all the robes as will your sweetheart. The sealing ceremony is the same for everyone. You will kneel at the altar and hold hands and the sealer with perform the ordinance. He may also give a short word of counsel beforehand. It is rather quick and is very peaceful. There will be temple workers assigned to help both of you thru every step of your temple experience. You can ask any question you want inside the temple. Everyone is so helpful...you may even feel like you have too much help!

2. I think the temple prep classes are great. They will give you the basic information you need to enter the temple. They will help your spiritual preparedness -- which is key to having a good experience. You can ask questions. Not all of them will be answered, because the temple is sacred. But they can give you answers to your questions that can allay your fears.

3. The temple only freaks out the ones who really aren't ready or worthy to be there. OK? You will go to receive your endowment. The initiatory will prepare you for that endowment. (IMO, that is the coolest part. Lots of wonderful blessings!) Then your sealing. I think you will be surprised how it is not all the hype everyone makes of it. It is beautiful and peaceful and quiet. And fills your spirit. And there will most likely be parts that don't make sense the first time. That is ok. It is meant to be a multi-layered experience. That is why we go back over and over!

4. Pregnancy won't matter at all.....other than to make all the grandma's at the temple extra smilie! I have gone pregnant lots o times!

5. Picking a temple is such a personal choice. They are all wonderful. How could one compare them?Follow the Spirit. You will know what choice to make.

I am excited for you. Going to the temple will enhance your life. Don't be afraid. That is the voice of that adversary who doesn't want you to be there. God doesn't speak with fear -- ever!

Dedicate yourself to spiritual preparation. Get your basic habits working for you; prayer, study, service, and repentance. The more prepared your spirit is the better of an experience you will have.
There are a few books at any Deseret book store that help give a basic understanding of the temple they can help you understand. Then you can read in the scriptures....the old testament helps a lot.

[MaidservantX]

I suggest you do a lot of reading on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, by using the search term "temple".

Take the temple preparation class.

No one I know has left the church after attending the temple, and I have never heard of that . . . so I wouldn't worry about it being all that common.

I loved my first temple experience, although I have heard of some people express to me that they didn't. I also love going back time after time to receive strength and spirit to live my life.

I was married and sealed in the temple over 15 years ago. A few weeks ago, I witnessed the sealing of my youngest sister. I looove attending sealings/ weddings. They are such a good time for the spirit and reflection.

If you have a baby before the sealing, the baby will need to be sealed to you in a separate ceremony, but that can be done. If you have babies after the sealing, even if pregnant, they will already be sealed to you because of your marriage.

God bless.

[Flyonthewall]

Originally Posted by NormalMormon

I have some questions about getting married in the temple. My husband and I are already civilly married, but we want to go to the temple this year. My family aren't members, so we decided to have a civil wedding first, then get sealing in the temple later. Due to school and work though, it's been two whole years since our wedding and we haven't gotten sealed yet! I have a few questions, and maybe you can help me.

1. Is the attire and "ceremony" for a sealing after the couple is married civilly any different? Is there anything I'm not "allowed" to wear or shouldn't wear because him and I are already married? Is the ceremony very different? What can I expect?

There will be no difference in the sealing ceremony. Every sealing ceremony will have some sage advice from the sealer that will differ from couple to couple and sealer to sealer but the ceremony will be the same.
I would not recommend wearing a tube top and hot pants. No really, temple attire should be the same as church attire. Once in the temple you would change into a modest white dress for women, and white shirt, pants and tie for men. After that, I'm not sure if anything has changed, but your temple prep class should answer those questions.

2. We are going to take temple "prep" classes. What can I expect?

Expect to be taught that everything in the temple is symbolic. The will teach you most everything, except, of course, specifics.

3. I have heard many members leaving the church after the temple because they thought it was so scary and weird. I know I'm not supposed to know before I go, but I am afraid that it will totally freak me out. I don't want to go to some anti-mormon website and find out exactly what goes on and how it freaked people out, but I need to know what to expect.

This could be because of the symbolism. Don't be freaked out, just be open to the spirit, and try to follow the symbolism.

4. If I end up getting pregnant before we go to the temple, is that different or worse than if I were to get pregnant afterwards? I'm not sure how it works.

Since you are already civilly married, it won't make any difference if you are pregnant or not.

5. I live in Southern Idaho and we would like to know which temples you all like. We are having a hard time deciding because our family is spread out over this area, so any one would work really. Which ones did you guys think were particularly beautiful?

I just went to the closest temple, which at the time was the Oakland temple, and I think is absolutely gorgeous! Each temple has it's own beauty so it's really up to you.

I am sure I will come up with more questions, but thank for your answers.

Then com' on back now ya hear!

[miztrniceguy]

my fav temple in that area...well sorta...is manti. i have been to boise, but not idaho falls. my grandparents were sealed in idaho falls. my most fav temples are san diego, where i received my endowments, and nuavoo where we were married.

[skippy740]

Read the entire book of Moses. This will help you.

Maybe not necessarily for your sealing, but it will help prepare you to receive your endowment.

[NormalMormon]

Thank you guys so much! That really helped and I can't wait to go! I hope that everything I do beforehand will help prepare me.

Another question: My husband served his mission in Illinois and wants to go to the Nauvoo temple because it really means a lot to him and he was there for the groundbreaking/site dedication. I have mixed feelings about this because I want to get married in a temple that is important and special to BOTH of us. It just seems so expensive to fly us and the ENTIRE family out there when we can just have it here in Idaho. He really wants it there, but like I said...it seems like it won't feel special to me. Has anyone ever been there?

And - I have looked for temple wedding dresses, and there aren't ANY that are pretty with long sleeves! I don't want the dress to be boring and plain, I want it to be a WEDDING dress. But I can't find any that are pretty with long sleeves. Can I wear a long sleeved shawl over the dress? I know they give you the option of sleeves in the temple, but I want them to match my dress. What's the best option?