how do I put this...???

lestertheemt · #1 (**permalink**) 02-13-2009, 03:40 PM

I had some wonderful visiting teachers! I have an extremely choatic schedule and they never minded coming when it was conveniant for me. Well I have new ones now. At the beginning I explained the situation that my husband works night and sleeps during the day and that I am on a rotating schedule.
To make a long story short, they don't seem to get it. I have tried to explain as politely as I can that I will not have company while my dh is sleeping. It isn't fair to him. Plus they are doing the one thing that gets under my skin more then anything....dropping by unannouced!
I understand that they have a calling to fulfill but to what end?????? Am I being rude and completely unreasonable??????? I ask this because I am close to asking to be removed from visiting teaching completely!!!!

Jenamarie · #2 (**permalink**) 02-13-2009, 03:51 PM

I wouldn't remove yourself from the VT program all together, but maybe ask for new visiting teachers? I know my prior VT companion and I asked to be placed with different companions because our scheduals just were not compatible, and so we rarely got to go out to appointments together. (she kept the same route, since her schedual fit in well with our sister's scheduals, and I was assigned a new route and new companion). Talk to the VT coordinator in your ward and see what can be done about the situation. It may be that day time hours are the only times they're available to visit teach.

Lbybug · #3 (**permalink**) 02-13-2009, 03:52 PM

i don't think you're being unreasonable at all. i have amazing visiting teachers (well one). I think the main part is that both sides are able to work together. you by telling them when you're available (which you have done) and them by making sure to call ahead. can you talk to your rs pres and discuss the problem with her before being removed from the list?

Madriglace · #4 (**permalink**) 02-13-2009, 03:55 PM

If a very direct statement to them doesn't get the job done talk to your RS President. They should be making appointments and working with your schedule. That's what they are there for to see to your needs not get the numbers. if that doesn't work go to the Bishop ... I am a great one fro going to the top. If all that doesn't work let me know and I'LL call them!

missingsomething · #5 (**permalink**) 02-13-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madriglace

If a very direct statement to them doesn't get the job done talk to your RS President. They should be making appointments and working with your schedule. That's what they are there for to see to your needs not get the numbers. if that doesn't work go to the Bishop ... I am a great one fro going to the top. If all that doesn't work let me know and I'LL call them!

This is a GREAT answer. Dont feel guilty - they are there to HELP YOU... so yes, they have to work around YOUR schedule. But, before you do - pray about this twist.... are there times that you could meet with them (to open up your availability) that you havent offered up. SO, not saying at all that this is the case - just playing devil's advocate - that you could be available more than you think?

And maybe suggest to them that when he weather gets better they could come when your DH is sleeping, but sit outside instead?

My VTers got tired of trying to work around my schedule so now they just drop something in the mailbox about every 4 months - heck, a call is better than nothing.

Maya · #6 (**permalink**) 02-15-2009, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lestertheemt

I had some wonderful visiting teachers! I have an extremely choatic schedule and they never minded coming when it was conveniant for me. Well I have new ones now. At the beginning I explained the situation that my husband works night and sleeps during the day and that I am on a rotating schedule.
To make a long story short, they don't seem to get it. I have tried to explain as politely as I can that I will not have company while my dh is sleeping. It isn't fair to him. Plus they are doing the one thing that gets under my skin more then anything....dropping by unannouced!
I understand that they have a calling to fulfill but to what end?????? Am I being rude and completely unreasonable??????? I ask this because I am close to asking to be removed from visiting teaching completely!!!!

I would tell them that they can not come uninvited and when your DH is sleeping. I think they should respect your wishes. This time of your life things are this way, an other phase may give other options! I am sure they will understand and if not so... their problem... if they come just tell them that the time is not suitable for you!
Since they do not get the hint spell it to them!!

... with a smile

lestertheemt · #7 (**permalink**) 02-15-2009, 06:31 PM

Well, I spoke w/ both individuals today at church. In my mind I made it very clear, I guess I'll just have to wait and see how next month goes. I'll keep my fingers crossed!

Thanks All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lisajo · #8 (**permalink**) 02-15-2009, 08:23 PM

Heck i dont even know who mine are. the last 3 years no one has called, i got a few things in the mail, but that was along time ago. we havent had home teachers in years either. i gave up, i dont want them here now any way, it has been so long ago that i feel if they did show up it was out of the fact they want to make their quota for the month! and not cause i may need them here!

Maya · #9 (**permalink**) 02-16-2009, 02:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisajo

Heck i dont even know who mine are. the last 3 years no one has called, i got a few things in the mail, but that was along time ago. we havent had home teachers in years either. i gave up, i dont want them here now any way, it has been so long ago that i feel if they did show up it was out of the fact they want to make their quota for the month! and not cause i may need them here!

I know all about that... I think mine were gone some 5 years at least.... I really wanted to tell them to get....... It really needs a lot of humbling to welcome them after such a long time... I did and I am enjoying the BEST visiting siters ever and brothers are ok too!

You could just go tell the RS leader you would like VISITING sisters to come and brothers too. It is actually quite nice when they do... Sometimes the ward can be very bad on this and sometimes very good.... I am going next week visting mine... I do have one inactive I never been visiting... yes shame on me!

Elgama · #10 (**permalink**) 02-16-2009, 05:18 AM

It works both ways I think do these Sisters have schedules they have to work to etc - if so would meeting somewhere for a hot chocolate once a month work etc, your not being entirely unreasonable but neither are they, do they know dropping by unannounced bothers you? I live in an area where it bothers the local people, BUT the English people living in the branch prefer people dropping by which has caused the problem that one lot thinks the other is rude and the other feel noone visits.

I would not asked to be removed personally I would work out a way everyone can accommodate each other Visiting Teaching is how we get to know, love and become friends with Sisters we wouldn't normally mix with, some I have found easier than others to have round, others don't come round just let me know they are there every month....... you have a schedule so do they and part of making VT successful is when both sides work together

-Charley