VTing drop-off gifts

[pam]

Originally Posted by Wingnut

I think it's a Utah thing. Personally, though, I like it. I think it shows that someone cared enough to take time to make it. I wish I took the time to make reminder/giveaway things more often.

I don't think it's just a Utah thing. I've never had it happen while I have lived in Utah but I did have a VT in San Diego and in Hawaii that brought something every time they came to visit.

[georgia2]

Yeah we don't do that in my area. There have been times that I have taken something. When I got a new route and there were several inactive sisters on my route I got them a small lighthouse to help them remember the light they have and when they looked at it they would remember the Light of Christ. I hope they didn't consider it "cutesy".

[Misshalfway]

Georgia, I didn't intend for anyone to second guess a genuine, well thought out, meaningful gift. That is not the point I was trying to make.

[Tarnished]

I have had quite a few visiting teachers, some have shown up and some have not. Some have brought by cute little gifts and some have not. My current VT is awesome, she and I have become great friends and we talk and sit by each other at church. She has brought me things at times, like pumpkin bread and such. However I never thought of her gifts as what she was doing instead of visiting me, mostly because she is such a great friend at church.

I have had VT in the past that just never came to visit me, so I am glad I have this one currently. She is actually one of the reasons I became active again in church.

I do think though that if we are just giving gifts each month instead of actually visiting then there is something wrong. I think gifts can be a nice thing to bring by every so often, but not every visit. I think the best way to visit teach is to get to know the ladies that we visit. The messages that we share are important as well, but I know for myself I often don't feel that I have anyone outside of my family who cares who I am and what I am like, so I have always loved when visiting teachers come by and really get to know me.

[Wingnut]

Originally Posted by pam

I don't think it's just a Utah thing. I've never had it happen while I have lived in Utah but I did have a VT in San Diego and in Hawaii that brought something every time they came to visit.

Perhaps not so much exclusively Utah, but more heavily LDS populated areas, at least. It just reminds me of "The R.M.", when the Elders Quorum has no idea who is teaching, but the Relief Society has a tablecloth, an ice sculpture, an illustrated chalkboard, and the teacher, saying "Please turn to page 27 of your handout." Or when the mom goes into labor, when she's supposed to be on her way to a VTing appointment, and she tells her son, "Call your father! No, call Sister ______ and tell her I won't be able to make it, then call your father!"

[Elphaba]

When I was a member in the early '70s, I lived in a singles ward in Massachusetts. I was great friends with my visiting teachers, and my teachees as well.

We would often bring treats to be eaten at our visits, sometimes making it a game of who could out-bake the other. But it was never a problem if someone didn't bring a treat.

I've always felt we were such good friends because it was a singles ward, and also becuase it wasn't an area where you could find a lot of Mormons. I had grown up in the Church in So. California, where you could find Mormons in any city, and basically had no LDS friends there at all.

I haven't been a member for two decades now, so I don't have VTs. But it seems to me there would be a difference between bringing a treat and bringing something non-edible.

In fact, when my mother's VTs bring treats to her, I always dig in! But the "cutesy" things do tend to clutter the fridge until they're just thrown away.

Elphaba

[MorningStar]

If it's any consolation, I don't give anything to my visiting teachees. hahahahahaha

All right, once in a while I do. Like when I had a new route I wanted to drop something off and as a joke, I gave her a sympathy card about losing her friend (her old awesome visiting teacher). Read in that context, I was laughing pretty hard. It said something like, "You must have mixed emotions - sadness that your friend is gone, but happiness that she is no longer suffering." She thought it was hilarious.

But I prefer to lend support than clutter or added pounds from brownies when I can. Do what you feel comfortable with and what the Spirit directs you to. It's not a competition.

[candyprpl]

I had a companion once who seemed to think that VTing was about turning in numbers of 'done.' If we sent a card, that counted. It made me uncomfortable that she never really wanted to meet the needs of our dear sisters. I don't like talking bad about her, it doesn't make me feel very good but it was frustrating. She wasn't very interested in getting to know me either. I hadn't been a member very long and so I didn't really know how to handle it. One day I went to the RS president and asked her if I could have a different companion. She asked me why -- I didn't exactly lie when I told her that our schedules were really hard to correlate. That was true, but it wasn't the biggest reason. Anyway.....that was really off topic, sorry.

In our ward I haven't seen gift-giving other than on special occasions or maybe now and then 'just because.' I've done it occasionally when I see something at the store that maybe reminds me of one of my sisters or I've baked a bunch of cookies (etc) and it happens to be a day appointments are set.

I definitely agree that it shouldn't be about what or how much we take to our sisters, but how much we really care about what's going on in their lives.

Like the other day when miss1/2 was kind of out of sorts on a thread -- someone offered her symbolic chocolate and I added a hug!

[Wingnut]

Originally Posted by candyprpl

I had a companion once who seemed to think that VTing was about turning in numbers of 'done.' If we sent a card, that counted. It made me uncomfortable that she never really wanted to meet the needs of our dear sisters.

I'm totally with you on this one. I've had months (especially in the Summer with vacations -- mine, my companion's, and our teachees') where we never made it for a visit. I made sure to talk to me teachees for a quick minute at church, or sending them an email to find out if they need anything, even if it's just a ride to the airport. In my reporting that month, I would honestly say "We didn't get a chance to visit, but I checked in with _____ and she's doing fine." There have been months when we've done a traditional visit. There have been times when I brought dinner over on a day that I knew was really rough for ______ and I just wanted to do that to take a load off of her. I didn't end up visiting that month, but her needs were met in other ways. It's not always about sharing a message or "making a visit, sending a card, or calling" -- it's about serving and meeting the sisters' needs.

[Misshalfway]

Originally Posted by candyprpl

Like the other day when miss1/2 was kind of out of sorts on a thread -- someone offered her symbolic chocolate and I added a hug!

Something that meant more to me and did more good than any ole box of real chocolate.

Thanks again.