Missionary Girlfriends

#1 (**permalink**) 10-02-2007, 05:01 PM

Hi ladies! My boyfriend is serving a mission in Moscow, Russia. He loves it out there and I love hearing from him every week. It's been tough, but nine months down already!

I just wanted to know if there are any other young ladies in my position. My signature is the website that I run for girlfriends of missionaries. I'd like to invite everyone to take a look and let me know what you think!

PinkPanther · #2 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 03:22 AM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you weren't supposed to officially wait for a missionary. (because it distracts them from their Mission if they are thinking about the girl they left behind all the time.)I wouldn't know though, I married a guy I met while he was serving a mission in my home ward... goodluck

LoudmouthMormon · #3 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you weren't supposed to officially wait for a missionary.[/b]

I don't think there are any official guidelines. Just common sense based on tens of thousands of experiences, that 95% of girls waiting, don't stay waiting the entire mission. And 4.9% of those who do wait, discover that one or both of them have changed, and there's no point any more.

But hey - it looks like Karlita is looking to be that lucky .1% - and I say more power to both of them! Good luck!

LM

#4 (**permalink**) 10-03-2007, 04:19 PM

The thing is, there are not a lot of official guidelines for missionary girlfriends. A lot of people think they know the rule, when in reality that rule doesn't really exist--it's just something people have said.

I find that instead of being a distraction, we can be one of their most solid supports. Especially in how we conduct ourselves in church, with his family, and in our letters and packages.

It's true that the statistics for missionaries marrying the girl are dismal, but that doesn't mean missionary relationships don't exist, or that they are a waste of time. I think it means we should look beyond the numbers and ask why it is that so many girls give up. My theory is because we feel so hopeless and alone, and because we don't get a lot of support. That's why I created the site, to help combat the failure rates and give girls a sense that they aren't crazy or totally alone.

I could go on for hours, but I'll just let those who are curious read the articles on the site. ;P

Anyways, I thank you all for your opinions, they are definitely something to think about. You guys are all awesome!

flickita · #5 (**permalink**) 10-26-2007, 03:58 PM

My boyfriend just got his call...he leaves in January!

And actually, he'll be serving in Russia too, but in the Yekaterinburg mission. Your site looks really awesome, I will definitely read more on it soon.

Has it been hard so far? I'm nervous about having to just keep in contact through letters! Since you know about having a missionary gone in Russia specifically...do you have any tips or advice about sending mail or packages there, or what kind of things he might start to miss being away from home?

It's cool to see I'm not the only one

cjcampbell · #6 (**permalink**) 10-28-2007, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you weren't supposed to officially wait for a missionary. (because it distracts them from their Mission if they are thinking about the girl they left behind all the time.)I wouldn't know though, I married a guy I met while he was serving a mission in my home ward... goodluck[/b]

Speaking of guidelines...

Mission Presidents tell missionaries all the time that they will not meet their eternal companion in the mission field.

So, seriously: 38 years ago my mission president, Paul H. Dunn, told me that I would lose either my girlfriend or my hair while on my mission. He went off chuckling to himself. I really hate being bald, but we have been married for nearly 36 years now.

Kollow · #7 (**permalink**) 10-28-2007, 09:44 PM

I had a girlfriend when I left for my mission, she wasn't LDS. I saw where things were headed and I sent a Dear Jane, she wasn't happy. In fact her response said more about who she was than two years of dating.

The Nehor · #8 (**permalink**) 10-29-2007, 03:43 PM

I think the best decision is to release each other from all obligations to each other for the two years. Then see how you stand when you get home. By all means, you should write them.

Being in a Singles ward for a long time and having served a Mission I've seen a lot of heartbreak. Missionaries crushed when despite vows of fidelity their girl back home 'cheats' on them. Girls bitter when they waited for two years and the Missionary comes home and has changed and has lost interest.

katielouise87 · #9 (**permalink**) 11-08-2008, 06:12 PM

I think the most important thing to remember when it comes to 'waiting for a missionary', is to not take everyone elses advice. I'm not by any means saying ignor all counsel given, but I am saying that in my opinion it's between the couple themselves. No friends, parents or leaders can know the relationship the way the 2 people in it do and at the end of the day-all relationships are different.

I can appreciate that in most cases it doesnt work out when a girls waited, but in my opinion I'd rather give it a go and be wrong than not give it a go and let someone else be right without me and him having tried!!!

I have been waiting for my guy for almost 16 months now and we write and email weekly. I know that I've never been a distraction to him, but instead he has thanked me on so many occasions for supporting him and helping him serve a mission. Of course we miss eachother a lot, but we're making it work. I know we'll have both changed a lot by the time he gets home, but we are very open and honest with one another and I feel that I've gotten to know him better in the past 16 months through letters than in the 2 years we dated before he left.
I haven't dated anyone else... Of course there have been times that I've wanted attention more than anything, but I know that by waiting for my best friend I cant go too wrong!

Starfish · #10 (**permalink**) 11-08-2008, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karlita007

Hi ladies! My boyfriend is serving a mission in Moscow, Russia. He loves it out there and I love hearing from him every week. It's been tough, but nine months down already!

I just wanted to know if there are any other young ladies in my position. My signature is the website that I run for girlfriends of missionaries. I'd like to invite everyone to take a look and let me know what you think!

Been there! Just so you know, some of us made it. I married my missionary about 6 months after he got home. (That was 32 years ago.

) His mission was a great blessing to us all these years. Sooooooo worth it!!!!

Count Fast Sundays. You know how OFTEN they come around. If your elder has been out 9 months, then you have only 15 Fast Sundays left!