How long does it take to fall in love with someone?

[Gramajane]

Phschology studies tell us that when we "instantly" fall in love-- we are either "projecting" traits onto the other person--
and/or they remind us of someone else in our lives.

that what may attract us (if we didn't deal with issues with our caregivers negative traits already in our lives) that subconsciously we will recognize similar traits in others-- and still wanting to "win" may be attracted to them-- as we may have work to do to learn to deal with those negative traits.

For example-- if her father was cold and rejecting-- a girl may be attracted to men who act that way
or even worse-- like those who suffered abuse actually may subconsciously be attracted to those likely to be abusive to them-- as they hope to overcome in dealing with such a person- and prove they are worthy of being treated well etc

This is why it is dangerous to act too quickly on "love at first site"

I think it is essential to get to really know someone as a friend -- before even hand holding!
Watch for things like what makes them angry-- are they often angry-- what do they do when they are angry etc
Are they responsible with their money and debt?
Are they strong in following Jesus Christ? (actions speak louder than words!)
How do they treat their family members?
--- but the VERY biggest is-- "are they honest"?? If you don't have honesty-- and a willingness to repent and do better-- it is impossible to work with someone!

Anyway-- hope this helps. There is even a book written for LDS girls (that can help the guys too!) -- it is of course not official doctrine-- but lots of good stuff-- called "Frog Buster" (like what frogs turn into princes and which will not). God bless us all in our choices and commitments-- it should be carefully done and with prayer as the goal is for an eternal commitment!

I believe I have been totally blessed that way as though we've had our very hard times, we have learned from them and are so much more in love than the 40 years ago when we were married! Gramajane

[Gramajane]

Oh, I should have added that I wrote to my husband for 1/2 a year (and the letters got more frequent and longer and then we added talk tapes etc) before I ever met him (he'd met my sister and asked if she had any sisters he could write to-- he was just off his mission and entering the Coast Guard)

He told the guy in the bunk under him that he had found the girl he was going to marry after the FIRST letter he got from me, and after the 7th letter from him, I told my mother that I thought I would marry him. We didn't tell each other this "info" though till after we had met!

Then also my mother had me fly to AK, (live with his folks for a month while he bunked on base-- as he got assigned to the town they lived in -- Kodiak, AK) to get to know him better-- as we had only been around each other for two weeks and 3 days-- but about a year writing by then.

Anyway-- pleanty of highs and lows getting here but now things just get better! Gramajane

[Tarnished]

I think often infatuation is confused with love. Dating can be exciting, especially with all the emotions that go through a person when they are getting to know someone. Emotions can be so strong at the beginning that they can feel like love. Or rather we think that the strong emotions are love when truly they are just emotions. I think love develops over time, and that you really have to work at it.

Originally Posted by Gatsby

I don't I'll think ever fall in love with someone in a short period of time, less than a year.

Besides being a sin, how does having sex before marriage affect the love you have for someone? Anybody know???

I will tell you what my mother told me about having sex before marriage. She said:

"Having sex creates a bond between you and your partner, you may not feel this bond but it is there. In marriage this bond is allowed to grow stronger and stronger as your marriage progresses, however if you create this bond with many people outside of marriage then there is not as strong of a bond. It is like being tied to many people and the bond is stretched thin."

I have seen this in non-member friends of mine. One example is of a girl I am very good friends with. She dates a lot of guys and usually sleeps with the guy after about a week to a few days of dating him. She has never dated a guy for a month without sleeping with him before that month is up. She wonders why she is never able to keep a guy for very long and why they always move on. I feel that it is because she is willing to treat the special bond that is created by having sex so flippantly.

Sex in the church is seen as a sacred action between you and your spouse, having sex before marriage is treating that sacred action with disrespect. It is sad that the rest of the world does not see it this way.

In regards to love I think sex before marriage can create hurt feelings in a marriage. I like what Pres. Kimball said about it. He said that if you really loved someone you would never put them through the anguish that comes with breaking the law of chastity.

[Hemidakota]

Originally Posted by Gatsby

I don't believe in soul mates or love at first sight, that's just a bunch of non-sense. & don't say it takes a second or 5 minutes to fall in love, that's just unbelievable.

Soul mates are only done in rare occasions and by the hand of our Heavenly Parents.

[Ragnar]

Originally Posted by Kyra

We only dated for 3 weeks before he proposed.

I got a senior aged cousin second removed, who got married after only about 10 days of knowing the guy. They are still married, and both are members of the church! Love at first sight is possible...if you're lucky!!

[Bini]

I couldn't agree more with LM! He's absolutely right.

[Islander]

Originally Posted by Ragnar

I got a senior aged cousin second removed, who got married after only about 10 days of knowing the guy. They are still married, and both are members of the church! Love at first sight is possible...if you're lucky!!

A random and limited exception should never be confused with the rule or norm.

I once knew a guy that was stabbed in the head with a 9 inc hunting knife that perforated the craneal box and into his brain. He is still alive and well. In fact, he can hear better than 15-20,000 Hz which places him within 1% of the population and much closer to the animal kingdom when it comes to auditory perception. Do you want to try a whack in the brain for a statistically negligible chance to enhance your auditory capacity?