How long does it take to fall in love with someone?

[Gatsby]

Please, I must know. Ever since I was introduce to romance I've been pondering this question.

I don't believe in soul mates or love at first sight, that's just a bunch of non-sense. & don't say it takes a second or 5 minutes to fall in love, that's just unbelievable.

The reason I ask is because I think I've been in love once but I fell for the wrong gal. & I don't think as much as I want to that it was an illusion.

Anyhow, do the scriptures mention anything regarding this?

[Kyra]

I think you continue to fall in love with someone over a lifetime. I don't know of any scriptural references to help you out though. I do however believe that you can just know the instant you see someone. I'm not saying love at first sight, because you can't love someone you don't know. But the first time I even heard my husband's name there was something special about it. Then I met him for the first time and I knew that we would end up together (even though he was dating my best friend at the time!)

But I'm still falling in love with him. The longer we're together, the more we get to know each other and find out about each other, even the more children we have together makes me love him more. We only dated for 3 weeks before he proposed. Were we taking a risk? Definitely! But we both knew it was right, and we've both grown to love each other more every day. I think it takes more than a lifetime to completely fall in love, what's important is if you both know it's right and if you are BOTH willing to work at making the love grow.

[Gatsby]

Originally Posted by Kyra

I think you continue to fall in love with someone over a lifetime. I don't know of any scriptural references to help you out though. I do however believe that you can just know the instant you see someone. I'm not saying love at first sight, because you can't love someone you don't know. But the first time I even heard my husband's name there was something special about it. Then I met him for the first time and I knew that we would end up together (even though he was dating my best friend at the time!)

But I'm still falling in love with him. The longer we're together, the more we get to know each other and find out about each other, even the more children we have together makes me love him more. We only dated for 3 weeks before he proposed. Were we taking a risk? Definitely! But we both knew it was right, and we've both grown to love each other more every day. I think it takes more than a lifetime to completely fall in love, what's important is if you both know it's right and if you are BOTH willing to work at making the love grow.

Wow! That is extremely fast! I assume both of you were active members of the church.

[Loudmouth_Mormon]

You can fall in love with someone in under a second. However, love isn't enough to make a lasting relationship. Love is an emotion that comes and goes.

[Elgama]

I think the Spencer W Kimball quote sums it up

"'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."

I have always liked and admired my husband the passionate love came about after we were married because I treasure the fact he is an incredibly good, kind, decent man, a husband who adores me and a fantastic Dad. And everytime he does something that reminds me of that the love grows.

I got into a lot of trouble with people before my marriage because I said I liked him and that was more important than love, love was just to get me through the times I didn't like him very much - even my Stake President at the time wavered over the living ordinance recommend because he said there needed to be chemistry. Well now after 6 years there is bags of chemistry and I do not understand people that say the love becomes more comfortable over time for me it becomes more exciting

I have scriptures about love and I don't think the love you have for your spouse should be anything other than Christlike - but not sure they answer your question

-Charley

[Nappaljarri]

Agree with everyone's response.
My experience: I was preparing for a mission and doing all the good things in life to bring spiritual enlightenment. Then wham bam..... my husband to be turned, up to a YSA convention (something he normally wouldn't do because he can't stand YSA behaviour, so he was even inspired)... anyway... he walked into the chapel courtyard, I saw him and then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew in my heart that we would be together forever. I walked into the bathroom with my friends and told them of my revelation... and they laughed at me... considering the situation and that my husband to be had everyone's eye on him as a prospective husband. Was it emotion? NO, it was a burning in my bosom. It was a straight communication from the Holy Ghost of the direction my life was going to take. It was a positive feeling that kick started me into a different way of thinking (as opposed to preparing to serve a mission). So love at first sight.... I think not.... personal revelation?? Yes!!

I also believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is commitment in the face of turmoil, kindness in the face of rudeness, endurance in the face of exhaustion, and the list goes on. As one continues on the path of true love and manifesting it through their actions, they see the grandness of their eternal companion unfold before them. I am the recipient of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who placed my wonderful husband on a silver platter in front of my eyes. I have seen us evolve into more loving human beings than I could have ever imagined. I realise now how many faults I had when we were first married, and can attest to a very patient husband who has moulded me with the love in his hands and helped me to become an elect lady... and continue on that evolution. True Love is a grand thing and I am ever so grateful for a husband who has lived it in word and deed.

[Gatsby]

Originally Posted by Elgama

I think the Spencer W Kimball quote sums it up

"'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."

I have always liked and admired my husband the passionate love came about after we were married because I treasure the fact he is an incredibly good, kind, decent man, a husband who adores me and a fantastic Dad. And everytime he does something that reminds me of that the love grows.

I got into a lot of trouble with people before my marriage because I said I liked him and that was more important than love, love was just to get me through the times I didn't like him very much - even my Stake President at the time wavered over the living ordinance recommend because he said there needed to be chemistry. Well now after 6 years there is bags of chemistry and I do not understand people that say the love becomes more comfortable over time for me it becomes more exciting

I have scriptures about love and I don't think the love you have for your spouse should be anything other than Christlike - but not sure they answer your question

-Charley



-Charley

That ought to be the most intelligent quote I ever heard from a general authority regarding romantic relationships. I almost got into a debate with a female friend over this. She believed in soul mates, I didn't. I assume she was naive since she was a senior in high school.

[Gatsby]

Originally Posted by Nappaljarri

Agree with everyone's response.
My experience: I was preparing for a mission and doing all the good things in life to bring spiritual enlightenment. Then wham bam..... my husband to be turned, up to a YSA convention (something he normally wouldn't do because he can't stand YSA behaviour, so he was even inspired)... anyway... he walked into the chapel courtyard, I saw him and then this overwhelming feeling came over me and I knew in my heart that we would be together forever. I walked into the bathroom with my friends and told them of my revelation... and they laughed at me... considering the situation and that my husband to be had everyone's eye on him as a prospective husband. Was it emotion? NO, it was a burning in my bosom. It was a straight communication from the Holy Ghost of the direction my life was going to take. It was a positive feeling that kick started me into a different way of thinking (as opposed to preparing to serve a mission). So love at first sight.... I think not.... personal revelation?? Yes!!

I also believe that love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is commitment in the face of turmoil, kindness in the face of rudeness, endurance in the face of exhaustion, and the list goes on. As one continues on the path of true love and manifesting it through their actions, they see the grandness of their eternal companion unfold before them. I am the recipient of a kind and loving Heavenly Father who placed my wonderful husband on a silver platter in front of my eyes. I have seen us evolve into more loving human beings than I could have ever imagined. I realise now how many faults I had when we were first married, and can attest to a very patient husband who has moulded me with the love in his hands and helped me to become an elect lady... and continue on that evolution. True Love is a grand thing and I am ever so grateful for a husband who has lived it in word and deed.

I also agree with that sentence. I also believe that real love is unconditional.

[Nappaljarri]

And the amazing thing is..... when you make a choice to love... then your feelings swell within you anyway.... So the feelings are sort of like a sign of the love, but it isn't the love. If you know what I mean.

[Gatsby]

I'm surprised at everyone's replys. Non LDS people tell me it takes time. months-years (6 months at least, romantic love is indeed the strangest thing around) to fall in love and here I'm reading something different. I wonder why? I still wish to know.