question for single guys... - Page 2

will227457 · #11 (**permalink**) 09-28-2009, 05:09 PM

date yes...marry no.....think about it would you want to deal with someone elses issues. marriage is tough enough with out pre existing meical conditions....and is there a chance this can be passed on to potential kids....

call me shallow but I say date yes marry no.....

avatar4321 · #12 (**permalink**) 09-30-2009, 01:06 AM

i dont think id have a problem with it as long as she didnt have a problem dating a sick man. but then i wouldnt recommend telling every single person about the problem the second you meet them.

Gargantuan · #13 (**permalink**) 09-30-2009, 12:49 PM

Good idea, not to focus on your poor health. It's better to allow a person to get to knlow you first before an announcement is made about your health.

For instance, I have poor healthand if I'dmentioned it to every single peron the minute we met,molst would've thought "That poor man, I really feel sorry for him." LOL The focus on what possible good qualities you may have is dimmed and the concentrate on the overt menifestations of your health. Make sense?

Hemidakota · #14 (**permalink**) 09-30-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepperann27

I have digestive problems, I have had colonic inertia, rectal inertia, and now I have small bowel inertia and I also have a ileostomy, I too have chronic pain.

Do you think that could scare guys off? it is sad if it would because I am a nice person.

Is it correctable by surgery?

Gargantuan · #15 (**permalink**) 09-30-2009, 09:51 PM

Your afflictions will obviously make you feel uncomfortable. I can understand why you’d want to stay away from others if you feel that bad. I also think that other men you may like and are worth anything will understand your affliction and regardless your current health a true friend will be accepting and understanding. The inner glow coming from a good person who endures suffering well is amazing and very helpful to those without that type of human understanding. Gar

Gemma · #16 (**permalink**) 10-01-2009, 02:24 AM

Will, this isn't an attack (and I don't think you're shallow at all, perfectly reasonable to not want those things in your marriage) but you might want to reconsider your 'date but not marry' answer. If you were ever in this situation and dated a girl who really liked you when you knew it would never work with then she would be terribly hurt when she found out.
If it was me, I'd prefer that you didn't ask me out to start with - but pepperann might disagree since she's actually experiencing it and I'm just imagining.

will227457 · #17 (**permalink**) 10-01-2009, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma

Will, this isn't an attack (and I don't think you're shallow at all, perfectly reasonable to not want those things in your marriage) but you might want to reconsider your 'date but not marry' answer. If you were ever in this situation and dated a girl who really liked you when you knew it would never work with then she would be terribly hurt when she found out.
If it was me, I'd prefer that you didn't ask me out to start with - but pepperann might disagree since she's actually experiencing it and I'm just imagining.

While agree if you are seriously dating a girl it would be wrong to pursue to the relationship because you may hurt her feelings, but a casual date..."hey you want to get a bite to eat" one time..not a big deal IMO...

yes dating more than once knowing that you cannot or will not marry this person would be unfair and raise expectations...I would never do that I would be up front and honest if she wanted to continue dating me...

Bini · #18 (**permalink**) 10-01-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moksha

Pepperann, you many wish to keep your eye out for some guy who works in nursing. Nurses are very caring and helpful.

I wanted to add my opinion to this comment.

Starting a relationship with someone based on their occupation is not good advice. I have worked in nursing for sometime and would be upset if someone was interested in me for my job description and skills - instead of for who I am. I also wanted to add that not all medical and nursing personnel are as compassionate as they'd have you believe. I can guarantee that many of them do not want to be involved in a "nurse/patient" relationship outside of work and in their personal life. You'll find people that are comfortable and uncomfortable with dating someone with health issues, regardless, of their job description.

Anyway. Sometimes friendship and love finds you when you're not so actively seeking it. Keep a positive attitude and it will bring people to you. You don't have to be perfect. No body is. Everyone has their own afflictions, some more serious than others. I know that sometimes people find friendship and love through support groups, with others that deal with same or similar issues. I am apart of a BP and ED community and I have built several good friendships via that.

Stay strong :]

LonelyGargoyle · #19 (**permalink**) 10-02-2009, 08:57 AM

Nope !

silvermoon · #20 (**permalink**) 10-04-2009, 09:11 PM

Don't be that concerned with yourself. If you are living your life to the best that you can and are happy with who you are, than you will have a better chance at attracting someone kind. If you are self-centered and unhappy that would be more reason to not attract a nice guy than having a health problem.