Is there something wrong with me?

[Dravin]

Nope, not a single date.

[will227457]

wow you guys depress me....

ok to the OP, this may not be what you want to hear but sometimes you need to hear it you may be "wierd" thats ok in the church sometimes people grow up secluded from the "real" world and what a girls expectations are.

this may sound crass but what you need are some confidance building excercises.....

1. Find a singles ward
2. Look for the girl who has never been asked out (you should be able to spot her I know I can when I go to a new ward)
3. briefly chat and ask her out (unless you are a real goober she will say yes)
4. Don't be a typical cheap mormon....take her some place nice and YOU pay!!
5. if you are nice, polite, and make conversation you will have a successful date and maybe even get a kiss
6. Move on to the next girl repeat this process 5-10 time till you build up your confidance.

I guess my point is don't shoot for the stars on your first attempt....shallow yes, maybe even a little mean, but you need to learn to talk to women, flirt and communicate....by taking out a girl that is (less desirable) you will make her feel great about herself and improve your self confidance in the process....start there and work your way up the ladder....

just a piggish suggestion...

[talisyn]

Will's suggestion is good in a way, because those girls can be just awesome. There's a lot to be said for a sweet spirit. But if you go about it exactly like he said then you pretty much get what you deserve.

BTW I was never asked out when I went to the single's ward. Never ever for 4 solid years. Seriously questioning my level of attractiveness when I met my daughter's dad who totally fell for me. It'll happen to you, and when it does it'll be worth it

[firehotemily]

Originally Posted by BrioCyrain

Hello, I want some LDS opinion on this. So I am like...20 and if I remember correctly the prefered minimal LDS dating age was what...16? Though in-between these 4 years I have yet to land a single date with a girl, LDS or non-LDS either way.

I know many people told me "the time will come" but I don't want to like some old gramps person by the time that happens. I mean all the LDS friends I have had since then had either gotten married or have been on numerous dates. I just want to know why I've been avoided or just been "collecting dust" these 4 years.

I've tried to make contact with LDS girls that I liked and when I told them that I liked them even though we spent time around the same friends and stuff they just blew me off and thought I was a weirdo. I don't see what so weird about me, I mean I am a bit shy but I don't see how that makes me weird.

Some people just think I just been running into fickle girls but I am a bit surprised since all the girls I've tried to get them to notice me seem to go under this "fickle" category.

I just wish I could have hope for the better.

Why are you worrying now about becoming an old geezer without any dates? Your 20, your YOUNG.
So don't feel bad if you haven't had a date. One of my friends has only gone out on one date and she's almost 18, but she doesn't stress about it.
don't worry, maybe if you go on a mission it might attract more girls (if you haven't already) :P
I may not see the whole story, but i don't think your weird so no worries lol
There's lots of girls that like shy guys.
about the girl and the fickle stuff...my advice is to sit down and write down a list of all the girls you like and their traits, GOOD AND BAD
if you can see a pattern in the bad category then it might be time to look for some other types of girls.
maybe different social class or something, whatever it may be.

Work on yourself first and be the person you would want to marry. Become a honorable young man.

[Voyager]

Originally Posted by will227457

wow you guys depress me....

ok to the OP, this may not be what you want to hear but sometimes you need to hear it you may be "wierd" thats ok in the church sometimes people grow up secluded from the "real" world and what a girls expectations are.

this may sound crass but what you need are some confidance building excercises.....

1. Find a singles ward
2. Look for the girl who has never been asked out (you should be able to spot her I know I can when I go to a new ward)
3. briefly chat and ask her out (unless you are a real goober she will say yes)
4. Don't be a typical cheap mormon....take her some place nice and YOU pay!!
5. if you are nice, polite, and make conversation you will have a successful date and maybe even get a kiss
6. Move on to the next girl repeat this process 5-10 time till you build up your confidance.

I guess my point is don't shoot for the stars on your first attempt....shallow yes, maybe even a little mean, but you need to learn to talk to women, flirt and communicate....by taking out a girl that is (less desirable) you will make her feel great about herself and improve your self confidance in the process....start there and work your way up the ladder....

just a piggish suggestion...

Go for broke. Scan for the girl who is the absolute best looking in the ward. Start talking with her and then ask her out. Lots of guys don't ask the best looking girls out.

[mavreenrose]

My friend and I discussed my dating chances -- and it has always been nil. Back in my home country, I was never the girl who went out on lots of dates though I was made to believe I'm a "catch". Most guys my age are intimidated by me as they deem me too smart, too accomplished, etc. While I was already an assistant manager for a bank, guys my age were returning from missions and thus were back to their studies. That never would have mattered to me but then they have already put me in an "out of reach" box. Now, that I am in the US and attending a singles ward and back to school (grad school), I still find my chances nil. Guys my age are either married or think I am too young (It must be an Asian thing for me to look younger than my actual age of 25) or just think the cultural barrier is too much of a hassle to bridge. I have only been in a date once -- and it was with a younger guy. But I learned not to fret about it. It will happen when it will happen. So hey, you're 20, you're young..make lots of friends, and keep asking girls on dates!

[Tantalus]

FunkyTown nailed it, especially with #3.

[sarah123]

I thought I was the only one out there with this problem! Everyone around me seems to be happy, holding hands with their significant. I am 30 and have had exactly two first dates and they were disastrous! I liked what Ben Raines said

I never waited around for a date. I find that most girls/women prefer to be asked out and do not like being called chicks.

It seems like men these days think women are the ones to do the asking. I am an old fashioned girl and will wait to be asked out and because of that I will probably NEVER get asked out. Either guys are getting lazy or chivalry is dead. Probably both. I also liked what Will said. Very excellent points.

Follow what Will said and you can not go wrong. I wish more guys would follow Will's formula! Alas, I am happy and still waiting.....

[setholsen]

Originally Posted by BrioCyrain

Hello, I want some LDS opinion on this. So I am like...20 and if I remember correctly the prefered minimal LDS dating age was what...16? Though in-between these 4 years I have yet to land a single date with a girl, LDS or non-LDS either way.

I know many people told me "the time will come" but I don't want to like some old gramps person by the time that happens. I mean all the LDS friends I have had since then had either gotten married or have been on numerous dates. I just want to know why I've been avoided or just been "collecting dust" these 4 years.

I've tried to make contact with LDS girls that I liked and when I told them that I liked them even though we spent time around the same friends and stuff they just blew me off and thought I was a weirdo. I don't see what so weird about me, I mean I am a bit shy but I don't see how that makes me weird.

Some people just think I just been running into fickle girls but I am a bit surprised since all the girls I've tried to get them to notice me seem to go under this "fickle" category.

I just wish I could have hope for the better.

Sorry I know this thread is already 3 pages in, but it's late and I don't have time to read it :/

I was going to say that I grew up homeschooling, and was also a computer nerd. So not only did I not talk to many girls, I didn't want to. Too much money, too much time, too much energy, and doesn't even know how to troubleshoot a wireless router that is giving out a bad signal.

Though one day I was hanging out with our priest quorum talking to my leader as usual and he brought up the fact that homecoming was coming up soon. I whined and complained and told him it would waste my time but he told me that he knew a girl that wanted to go, and that he would pay for everything. So, knowing I was going to be bored that weekend anyway, I decided to go and had a good time. The girl was nice, and we had fun.

I can tell you from experience though it does not work just saying hi to a girl and asking her out. In a small Mormon community you can be almost 100% certain they're taken. Ask your friends, teachers, bishop, if they know of any girl that's looking to hang out. If your town has more than 5,000 people you might have a chance. Maybe it won't be the best date ever but you WILL learn from it for next time.

Good luck

[setholsen]

Originally Posted by sarah123

I thought I was the only one out there with this problem! Everyone around me seems to be happy, holding hands with their significant. I am 30 and have had exactly two first dates and they were disastrous! I liked what Ben Raines said It seems like men these days think women are the ones to do the asking. I am an old fashioned girl and will wait to be asked out and because of that I will probably NEVER get asked out. Either guys are getting lazy or chivalry is dead. Probably both. I also liked what Will said. Very excellent points.

Follow what Will said and you can not go wrong. I wish more guys would follow Will's formula! Alas, I am happy and still waiting.....

Just an FYI I've devoted my entire young adulthood to being as much of a gentleman as I can be without looking like I'm role-playing. I get made fun of a lot by male and female friends, but I know someday there will be a woman that finds it charming.

The thing is, I ask as many girls out as I can without sounding like a something-I-can't-say-on-here. They always have one response. It's shyness, with a touch of stunnedness, and what looks like to be a slight sickliness. Of course, I'm always considerate of their feelings, but they're "too nice" to put me down, but they either don't want to or can't go out. At this point I've given up "asking girls out" because it just doesn't have the affect I wanted it to. Seems that I burden them more than charming them...

This is, when I've asked out girls.