Would You Date a Guy Like Me?

[JudoMinja]

Would I date a guy like you?

Right now? No.

In the past? Maybe.

Defining the line between casual and serious dating can be difficult sometimes. Casual dating is typically geared toward the teenage years, because teenagers are not yet ready to be making marriage decisions but should be spending time getting to know others of the opposite gender and identifying traits they like/dislike. Typically, once people reach the "adult" age, though, dating ceases being casual and becomes serious. At this point, people are in it for finding a marriage partner.

Many non-members continue "casual" dating even in to the adult years, but typically these people do not have the same outlook on relationships that members do. A typical non-member in today's society believes in "living it up" and letting relationships "figure themselves out" over time. As such, they tend to take what they can get out of a relationship and see whether or not it all falls into place.

Members (or at least members serious about the gospel and seeking temple marriage) look at things differently. Once we are ready to look for a marriage partner, we no longer date for "fun". We are dating in order to find someone we'd be willing to spend eternity with. So if someone isn't as equally serious about the gospel, we typically will not date said person, as having even a casual relationship could cause feelings to blossom over time, and it is better to make sure those feelings do not blossom with someone who cannot or will not go to the temple.

[JanSan]

As a mature woman looking back on life.. if this girl is happy in the church and wants it to be in her life, then I hope that she would not date you.
I say this not out of meaness but out of experience. I was married to a man who had a serious accident and lost 3 years of memory from it. He went to work that day a healthy happy LDS man married to me, he woke up thinking he was married to his ex and that he was of another religious faith.
We had been married in the temple and he lost all memory of this.
We stayed married for 13 year before getting a divorce, but we were able to remain friends.
It was sooooooooooooo hard, going to church alone, going to the temple alone, not having the example of a good LDS honorable priesthood holder in my home for my boys.
It hurt so much...
If you can save this girl you think is so special that you want to date her from this pain.. then I hope that you are man enough to it!

[ZorabelMay]

You don't need someone for "dating".

You need a friend a true friend.

I can be that.

[Kindan]

I fell for a beautiful, mysterious, happy, confident girl - who had no interest in me romantically. I asked the question, what would it take for me to attract a girl like her? .... long story short, as I got to know her and realized what she was looking for, I began to read the Book of Mormon and began my conversion.

I'm married to someone else, not the girl I mentioned above. But maybe what you like about this girl comes from the way she lives her life.

[mehamgul101]

i don,t think so

[TheJosmo]

You might have more luck with less-active girls. But I disagree with Bini on the subject of "casual" dating. I'm only starting to date and I think it would be stupid for me to look for an Eternal Companion right now. An inexperienced dweeb such as myself is not ready wise or skilled enough to take on such a responsibility as marriage. Hanging Out is an important stage for people preparing for spouse-hunting.

[ReynaRosa]

lds church shouldn't be a meat market for marriage, people have the wrong concept of real lds members that are non active members..so to answer your question, yes you are intitled to dating other christians of good sound mind and vice versa...but remember that you will be tested.

[clarissa]

You may be a good guy with good intentions, but an LDS girl wants to marry a man that she will be with for eternity because she will love him enough to want to share forever with him and him only. If you are not living according to the standards that qualify you for the Temple and eternal marriage, how can you expect a girl to date you, knowing that she could fall in love with you but then face the pain of knowing that your union would not last forever?
I really hope that doesn't come across as offensive, that isn't my intention. Just try to see it from our perspective. Another thing, an LDS girl wants a guy who doesn't look at porn. I have no idea if that is a problem for you or not, but before you EVER decide to seriously date a girl, make sure that porn is not a part of your life. It will destroy a girl's life in so many ways if the guy she is with looks at porn. Believe me, that is HUGE. Live the standards of the Church and be your best self so that you can deserve the woman of your dreams.

[sarah123]

No. Absolutely not. Leave her alone. Don't drag her down just because you think she is cute. I am not trying to be mean but trust me, it is easier to drag someone down then to lift someone up. If she is anything like me (a very strong and active member) she will not date you.

And yes, every good LDS girl is looking to get married in the temple and I mean EVERY good LDS girl.

[BrendaM]

1. Yes, EVERY LDS girl who lives the Gospel wants a Temple Marriage with her eternal companion.
2. Should you persue an LDS girl who lives the Gospel even though you don't. Sure, as long as you are up front about your intentions.
3. She, however, will probably be counseled to stay away from you.
4. Even us more "mature" ladies will not date anyone who cannot take us to the Temple.