Keep meeting people I wish were members...

yenni · #1 (**permalink**) 02-17-2009, 09:14 PM

Yeah, so I keep meeting people at school who I'd marry in an instant and wish they were members so I could! I don't think I'm too picky but I don't know, I never seem to connect with any of the young men at the single's branch. I go to a small art school in Virginia and I just love being around the fellow artists insomuch that I would really love to be able to marry a member who is also an artist. I know it's not important to have every single thing in common with the person you marry, and it's okay if my future spouse is not an artist. Just saying it would be nice. BUT I never seem to be able to find any fellow members who are into art be it male or female.

Does anyone else seem to have this problem? That you have a hard time connecting with people in your ward or branch whether it be for dating or even hanging out? Like I said they don't need to be artists for me to hang out with or even date them. Just for once though it would be pretty sweet to find members that are into the same things I am. It feels isolating at times...

sgallen · #2 (**permalink**) 04-01-2009, 09:27 PM

I've noticed this problem among some of the artsy types I've known. I think LDS people are less drawn toward professions in the Arts. They stick to boring business and science careers. Especially the guys. It may just be a problem of geography. There's fewer members on the East Coast so its less likely there's male artists there. Move to Cali! It's sunny and warm and there's plenty of artsy types there

bmy- · #3 (**permalink**) 04-10-2009, 12:39 AM

Why not just date them?

Dravin · #4 (**permalink**) 04-10-2009, 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmy-

Why not just date them?

Because generally speaking you fall in love with people who you date and you tend to want to marry the people you fall in love with. If your goal is temple marriage falling in love with somebody who may not have an interest in going there is not something I imagine would be fun. Not saying a single date will lead to heartbreak or anything, it just all depends on what risks you want to take with your emotions. Dating can be tricky I hear as it is in that department, no need to stack the deck against you so to speak.

Of course hanging out is not dating, Elder Oaks says so.

Nothing wrong with say making friends with these people and doing stuff together as a group.

Jbs2763 · #5 (**permalink**) 04-10-2009, 09:50 AM

have you ever heard the phrase "flirt to convert"?

beefche · #6 (**permalink**) 04-10-2009, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jbs2763

have you ever heard the phrase "flirt to convert"?

Yeah, I did it on my mission.

Dravin · #7 (**permalink**) 04-10-2009, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jbs2763

have you ever heard the phrase "flirt to convert"?

Ever heard the phrase part member family? I'm not saying dating non-members (remember we aren't talking High School, we're talking adulthood where you are supposed to be searching for a mate, not just finding out what the opposite sex is like) is a sin or you are a horrible person if you do it, just there are reasons to confine your dating to members (and worthy ones at that).

Soul_Searcher · #8 (**permalink**) 04-11-2009, 07:24 AM

I personally feel that while if temple marriage is your goal, then you should go for that. However, is being in a temple marriage that has no love, fun or passion worth it? What I mean is, a lot of my friends married someone because they ticked all the boxes. RM, tick, member all life, tick etc. They then discovered after marrying them that they had nothing in common and wern't really in love. They were in love with the idea. They then divorced.

Having married an artsy type myself (they do exist!) I can honestly say that my love for my husband is stronger than any other emotion I possess. I wanted the kind of love that I would be prepared to die for. If I had a situation where I had to choose him or church I would choose him. He means more to me than ANYTHING in my life.

I suppose what Im trying to say is love conquers all. I would date these people you are talking about. You might find you are happy! And maybe they will join eventually lol.

Dravin · #9 (**permalink**) 04-11-2009, 02:06 PM

Quote:

What I mean is, a lot of my friends married someone because they ticked all the boxes. RM, tick, member all life, tick etc. They then discovered after marrying them that they had nothing in common and wern't really in love.

Sounds like a poor decision, same kind of poor decision marrying somebody who doesn't have your same standards and beliefs with the expectation that they'll convert because you are thinking really, really happy thoughts. For every part-member marriage where the member converts there is one or more where they never convert or their lack of interest in the Church drags the family down, I've seen the results, they aren't pretty. No its not a given, they may convert, in your scenario they may fall in love with each other. *shrug*

Yes, you can marry the perfect temple worthy gal/guy and find out 5 years down the road they're making money on the side sleeping around, just like you can marry a non-member and they convert. Its all about risks and which ones you are willing to take. I think both of us can agree think long and hard about who you marry whomever they turn out to be.

bmy- · #10 (**permalink**) 04-14-2009, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravin

Because generally speaking you fall in love with people who you date and you tend to want to marry the people you fall in love with. If your goal is temple marriage falling in love with somebody who may not have an interest in going there is not something I imagine would be fun. Not saying a single date will lead to heartbreak or anything, it just all depends on what risks you want to take with your emotions. Dating can be tricky I hear as it is in that department, no need to stack the deck against you so to speak.

Of course hanging out is not dating, Elder Oaks says so.

Nothing wrong with say making friends with these people and doing stuff together as a group.

Your goal should be to find a loving husband first and most importantly. A good man is a good man.. regardless of which church (or none) he attends.

It should be your only goal really. You do want to be with this person forever.. so why discriminate in regards to religion? If life is truly eternal.. you've got all the time in the world to teach him the doctrine.

Perhaps i'm biased.. but if it weren't for my girlfriend who I intend to marry.. I wouldn't even be around the church. I'm thankful that some members are capable of looking outside the box.