Being that I have a disability that is "cassified" as a mental illness, I have often found members of the church, who are convinced that all I need to do is exersize faith and I would be cured. I find this highly offensive, what I have is a physicalogical, chemical imbalance causing me to view and deal with life a bit differnt than most. This condition is best treated with medication, and selfawareness, along with a strong support group who are not afraid to tell you when you are acting out of line. I have been treated for this issue for 20 years and dealing with it for most of my life. For someone to tell me I don't have enough faith to overcome my disability, is akin to some told to exersize faith and they can lose that extra weight they have. It dose not happen, that way.  Have you experienced any of this attitude?

Yep. In a weird way I'm kinda glad to hear that someone else has heard that line of reasoning (or lack of reasoning).  Early on in the Unit I belong to, a member of leadership and I had a very...tactless discussion of my situation.  This person expressed some ideas on learned behavior, and repentence and faith.  I was like, yeah I wake up every morning and decide how I can screw up my life today; early on Sunday so I have time before Church--oh, and next time I can consult you; we can make it part of my daily planning!!  It would have been one thing if this individual had some professional
credentials to back up such a theory. (Not really, but....) Yeah. This person and I still talk only in passing, though they have taken a more neutral approach to my...situation. Most people don't understand what Asperger's is and when I try to explain "autism spectrum disorder" people either have less of a clue or they think classical autism and try to argue that I'm fine. And in my case its alot of little things that are only noticeable in certain situations, but I can't believe someone had the audacity to make the accusation that I am that way because I choose to be.

On the flip side, I have people that are if anything, helpful to a fault.  The S&I (CES) missionaries have been my greatest support. They even offered to go with me to meetings to help me keep track of information and directions.  The Elders are more open and understanding too. The Relief Society President does little things like write down announcements and make sure I know what's going on.  I did a FHE lesson on Asperger's once; that helped alot. Some people just need time to understand, others just need to be abducted by aliens.  I guess the world would be pretty boring if eveyone was easy to get along with.     

Yeah, I vote for the alien abduction. People just don't get it.

I feel stifled to even try to explain my issues. But I do try. It just doesn't feel very good. I met with the bishop a few weeks ago. I presented just a hint of my family situation, and he graciously agreed to listen to me, but surmised that I'm really only looking for some counseling. ...not priesthood council, but mental health counseling... and that was for an issue that actually warrants a church disciplinary action against a priesthood holder. But I know there's no chance of that. And maybe wothout proof it isn't something the Church can pursue. It's just disturbing that it isn't dealt with seriously. Anyway, the Bishop did ask my home teacher to come out and help me with some needs at my home. It was a big help for them to do a dump run for me, but there is still more help I need. Now my home repairs are more extensive than I feel I can ask for help with. Not having the resources to deal with it myself, I'm not sure what to do next. Anyway, with all that, I don't feel like there's anyway they would understand my stress level, anxiety, and worries. I've been dealing with hardships by myself all my life. But sometimes I just feel like I can't do it all myself anymore. Yet I don't know who to talk to. I did get a blessing from the bishop after church, and I am very grateful for what they try to do for me. I just wish it was easier emotionally.

It's a good thing everything passes, eventually. And tomorrow is a new day. BREATHE.

NO KIDDING! I'm glad things have at least a little of an upside. This game of getting leadership to step up to responsibilties gets real interesting real fast:

I was supposed to talk with leadershop in my home unit, but the indiviadual in reference simply left before he spoke with me. No expalnation, no reschedule.... And I've been stressing about this for SIX months since our previous... talk. OOH. Anyway. I got a few problems myself and everything I've read says talk to your leadership... well who is option "b"?  Apparently higher leadership, and I am so not even wanting to go that route. The Church is a hierarchial organization composed of ppl and ppl are not close to perfect. One of three things will happen: "a": the crap-rolls-down-hill scenario and when my first level leadership gets ripped for not doing stuff well, I'll get the backlash; "b": higher leadership backs up my first-level leadership and I get flak for going over them; or "c": stuff gets fixed quietly and things get better. (There is too much going on and too many ppl in it for things to simply dissapate quietly.) I got a 1-in-3 chance of things working out without me getting backlash for this.... And I had to quit drinking coffee ! 

Well, I have not given up with first-level leadership, but some other ppl have... so we shall see how things go. On one hand they might gets things rolling with higher leadership, but if stuff hapens over this I don't want to pass the reaponsibility for that. Stuff gets started I want to be the one starting it :-).  Otherwise it'll look like I set them up to be in the way of any backlash. Then I have ppl parallel to and above me not happy w me. Wow.

So how is your situation working out?

Here's some back up in case u need it!

I can feel your frustration and dilemna. I know it is hard to get through to them, and I also know that the leadership's capacity to understand and constructively help us is limited. I think we all need to organize and do reform training some how.

But back to reality, I have a few thoughts for you.

First, in my own situation, I sometimes feel I am rightly dissatisfied with the way things are, but instead of working WITH what I've got, I am judgemental and sometimes not grateful enough for what I am given. And also I don't expect to get a resolution ...so I don't pursue it. After church this week I realized that the bishop is more willing to try to help me, even though I thought my needs were too extensive to ask. I don't know what will come of it, because I am trying my best to be resourceful outside of church too (and that might pan out), but I did get a blessing and some willingness extended in church. So I want to appreciate that, and trust more in Heavenly Father to meet my needs. And I need the faith and patience to wait and see what happens next.

I also want to suggest something that seems to help me sometimes. In addition to prayerfully seeking the Spirit for step by step guidance, often it helps to tactfully put in writing what we are asking for, and what we are feeling, including as much gratitude as possible. That way we can spend time to word it exactly as we want without being vague or saying something we don't exactly mean. It helps me feel better when I can record things factually so as to back up what I say, and speak concisely and thoughtfully, clearly asking for reasonable requests. It is less likely to be ignored if presented in writing. And there is a paper trail. So when we do need to go to a higher person in the leadership chain, there is documentation that we are clearly doing things in the right order, with the right humble spirit. and that we exhausted other means of resolution before bothering someone higher up. it might even be a good idea to cc a copy to the higher leadership to begin with, so it gets to both levels at once, and can be monitored that it is dealt with as it should. Or if not for any other reason, it could feel better for yourself to write it out in an organized letter, whether it's sent to the leadership or not.

I don't know if this applies to your situation, or if it will work for you. But it makes some sense to me. I do understand how devastating it can feel to be in the position you are describing. Scenario a, b, or c, may still happen, but at least you can know that you handled your end in a well-thought out manner, and made an appropriate presentation to communicate your issues.

Back to the Meds and LDS issue, I wanted to say that while so far I have chosen not to resort to taking meds for my anxiety and suffering, I am not convinced that I am doing what's best for myself. I know I have a personal stigma against resorting to that route, feeling I will be a failure if I do. But besides that, I hate experimenting with meds, hate being drugged, and don't believe they are healthy in the long run (if avoidable). I have no faith in meds being a real solution for me. I don't want to mask symptoms when I should be just facing my issues and defusing them naturally by getting through the feelings. On the other hand, if quality of living is jeopardized and daily life feels unmanageable, is it worth holding out? I am going back and forth, but I think if I just had enough "money' to have a normal existence, maybe my stress level would be bearable, and I wouldn't feel so compulsive about needing everything to be the way I think it should be. Maybe I am a perfectionist and being less than reasonable. I'm not sure. This being a public forum, I'm embarrassed even discussing it here. But oh well, it's real. Any response?   

I like the writing idea. I will consult with ppl I know I can got to. And I have had a rough couple weeks. I go through phases where I have real crazy dreams and can't sleep. And the not sleeping makes me feel like crap and then I don't want to eat.... I take OTC GABA since it doesn't have any harmful side effects and I can buy and monitor it myself.  Tuesday, I'm going to talk 2 my doctor about myb  starting a trial of a scrip. I will research his suggestions myself though. I have read a few success stories with meds, but overall I agree w u. I guess we'll c. I keep u updated.

(I just like this one.)

I wasn't being critical of prescription meds for you or anyone else, I was only talking about for myself. I think my lyme dz is really affecting my nervous system. Yesterday was a great day; I felt really positive and good. Today I am stressed over what feels like nothing. Sometimes I'm desperate and almost willing to try some meds, and other times I'm determined to stay off. It's not an easy decision.

Oh, and you're not alone about the eating difficulty. I'm having a hard time prioritizing my food intake (especially when it's this hot, but anytime, really). I am aware that if I don't eat enough, my nerves and thinking can be compromised too.

I have been on Meds for my condition for 18 years, my current Doctor is very good about watching for side effects and will change doses and meds if needed. I have recently statrted taking a new med to supplement another. I have been dealing with an over load of stress at work and from my ex wife. The  new med has help me stay away from becoming depressed and hopeless, has kept my moods stable and even lifted them a bit. I was talking to a member in our ward who was somewhat fimilar with my family situation, he opened up a bit, we both have the same condition, he has for the last 2 years been on my new med. He says it is the best he has tried in 20 years.

I am trying to say do not be afraid of medication that could be helpful with your condition. It is important to have a competant professional to monitor your meds. Remember all true knowledge comes from one source.

I know dealing with leadership can be very difficult, I once had a Bishop stop by the house and tell me I was only depressed because I did not have enough light in my house, then he had also told me he thought I was not much of a man fir having a mental illiness. The only good thing he did for me was reffer me to my doctor. As was ststed earlier those in leadership positions are only pepole.

I think it is oue job as members with disabilites to educate those leaders when we can, it is not always possible, but when we feel our best we should try and educate them.

I will get off my soap box now.

Thanks. I appreciate your comments.