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VIEW PERSONAL BELIEFS
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POSTED BY:
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Csaub001
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DATE:
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25.06.2012 |
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SUBJECT:
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How I gained a testimony |
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LOCATION:
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Columbus, United States
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I was born into the Church, I lived in a small town called Fostoria, near lake Erie, in Ohio. In my teenage years, I began to think God was like the Easter bunny or Santa Claus, and I fell away. When I was 20, I hit a rough patch in my life. All my friends and I stop talking, I treated most my family like garbage, so we weren’t talking much... I really felt alone. I don’t know what sparked the interest in God, but for some reason, I started wondering if God could exist. I thought if he did exist, then he should be provable by science, since he created all the laws nature follows. I began researching various topics, mostly theories on a young earth opposed to an old earth, which would be required for evolution. In my mind, if the evolution theory was wrong, God had to exist; there could be no other way we got here. After a long study, I concluded God actually made more sense than the evolution theory. So I began looking at religions... I didn’t want to look at "the Mormon church" because I already believed it was wrong. After reviewing many belief systems, it seemed to me, they made God out to be this supernatural being that was impossible to comprehend. At last, it came time to examine to Mormon faith. Even though I grew up in it, I had always resisted its teachings; I never paid attention in class, and usually would go outside after sacrament and wait to all the meetings were over for my parents to come out. Anyways, I began discussing beliefs with my father, he re-taught me of the first vision and the plan of salvation... after about a month of every night discussions, I asked if we could go to New York to the place Joseph had the first vision. My parents both agreed, It was the worst trip of my life. While we were in Palmyra, NY my parents could not stop fighting, my mom fell down some steps, my dad hurt his back, my brother and his pregnant wife got into a bad car accident, my other brother was involved in a car accident where he had to perform first aid on a young woman whose skull was showing, and my sister was driving down the highway when lightening struck a cement divider and exploded it all over her car. All these events happen in two days. We were about to turn around and come home, nevertheless, we battled through these events and visited all the sites. We came home on a Sunday night, the next morning (Monday), I was alone, thinking about all the trials Joseph had gone through, yet he always maintained his beliefs, I thought of all the wonderful things he had done... then I thought about my own life and how I had been living, which wasn’t good. All my sins entered my mind, then I thought of Jesus Christ.... I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face, begging for forgiveness for everything I had ever done... I remember feeling so overwhelmed I fell my hands. At this moment, I felt a hand grip my right shoulder, yet, I was alone, I could feel someone was behind me. I finished my prayer and my tears went from being guilty sad tears to happy peaceful tears, I cried uncontrollably for about 10mins. I felt an amazing feeling I can’t even come close to describing… those who have a testimony know the feeling. I sat on my couch just watching out the window in amazement of what just happen, when I got this terrible feeling that if I told anyone about this event I would go straight to hell. I felt scared, so I got back on my knees and prayed asking God if I should share this experience, as soon as I finished my prayer, the scary feeling left and peace immediately returned.
Looking back, I don’t know how I didn’t see the truth before. It so plain and simple, especially when satan makes himself so known among people. I always ask people when I tell this story… all the bad events that happen to my family in New York, was this God attacking my family to keep from this church? Or was it satan trying to destroy a testimony?
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