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I thank my friends UintahJack and cgrantreed for the help(assistant) which brought me for this translation. God bless you.
May the Holy Spirit guide my fingers on the keyboard of my computer in forming the words to describe how my life has changed since a night in mid-December 2003, when turning and turning in my bed without sleep, I just thought: \"God! if you exist, send me a sign.\"
In 2001, after the loss of several jobs, after the attack on the World Trade Center and foremost a serious argument with my father where we even came to blows, I locked myself up in my little apartment, terrified. Outdoors for me was a battlefield where there was nothing but danger. Just to go buy my bread and my food was a nightmare. It seemed to me that at every step, I risked stepping on a mine. Just the thought of leaving left me trembling uncontrollably and when I finally decided to escape the walls, my head was down, jumping at every noise, every look at me was an accusation, the slightest word stopped me. I bought as much food as I could carry to avoid going out for a long time and I tightly shut myself up from the world.
I spent my time playing long hours on the computer or half-heartedly watching television programs or on the Internet. I could not read or listen to music, something I always loved before. Unable to fall asleep, I would go to bed late at night, not to say I woke early in the morning, it was usually well after noon. Me, who loved being with family so much, with my parents, my brothers and sisters, my niece and nephews, would refuse all invitations, blinded by my hatred towards my father. I no longer lived. I waited for death to come take me. Until that night, where my eyes were so tired by long hours spent in front of my computer screen, I went to bed around midnight, but I could not sleep and I tossed in my covers, turning and turning again and again, head full of storms, fear, hatred, murder, attacks, deaths... And then, there was this idea that shouted in my head, or did I shout to myself? \"Why so much hatred? Oh Lord, why so much evil? Maybe you don't exist. Maybe you are another lie of men who want to enslave men... God! If you exist, send me a sign ... \" And... and I fell asleep right away.
I was awakened in the middle of the afternoon by the telephone. My sister, Nadine, asked me if I wanted to join her at a gathering to listen to my nephew, Germain, playing the bassoon he was learning at the National Conservatory of Nice. I said: \"yes.\" Nadine, knowing my aversion to religion after my long fruitless search and my two years in a cult, explained that the get-together was taking place in a church. My reaction would have normally been anger, but I told her that I just wanted to hear Germain and the place didn't much matter.
So I followed my sister to the gathering, not very reassured, and we arrived at the chapel. Just behind the parking lot entry gate, I saw the inscription, \"Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.\" I wasn't familiar with the name of this church, but why not, there are so many churches on earth who say they are of Christ. I will be friendly with them, I thought.
I was very kindly received, the people were simple, smiling, friendly. The evening theme was the American west, with young people who wore cowboy costumes they had clearly made themselves and there were games like in the westerns. It was very fun. The atmosphere was calm and serene. I was almost happy... The evening began with a prayer, which seemed normal in a church, then continued with a lesson I listened to which seemed reasonable, then Germain played accompanied on the piano by his church friend. It was superb. Several people gave beautiful hymn interpretations that I was surprised to hear them sing. Then the dance began, American folklore was honored in the dances, the music was gay and entertaining. I remained a spectator without participating, but I felt an enormous happiness I had not experienced for a long time. For so long I had not known such a peace. The evening ended with a buffet with dishes prepared by members of the church and a woman about 60 years old came up to me. She was wearing a badge bearing the inscription \"Sister Fabre - Church Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, \" and she told me she was a missionary with her husband. We started to talk and Nadine came to tell me we were leaving. Sister Fabre invited us for the New Year's Eve dinner. I said that I did not know if I would come.
I returned to my home, full of beautiful memories, singing, music, dance, but my fear, my anxiety had not vanished and my life resumed as before. The same routine, the same terror of the outside. At Christmas, I spent the holiday at Nadine's where I also saw my brother Luke and his girlfriend, my sisters and my brothers-in-law, and my nephews and niece. Luke told us that he had been given a young puppy and I wanted to have a dog too. We spent a nice evening and I found myself alone at home with my idea of having a dog.
Time passed, on December 31 I stayed home alone.
The days passed and my desire for a small four-legged companion grew and I ended up asking if someone would accompany me to the animal shelters in the area. I went to three different shelters where I saw nothing but the misfortunes and sorrows of old abandoned dogs, except in the first one where a puppy caught my eye, but I was looking for an adult dog ... On 29 January 2004, I returned to the first shelter I had visited, hoping the puppy was still there. It was there, with his eyes that asked me where I had been and why it had taken me so long to return. It wasn't me who adopted him, but him who took me by the hand, even if it was me who held the leash.
Him, a gift from the Lord, who led me outside, who took me from my home and helped me realize that the outside world was not so dangerous. Him, your instrument, Lord, so small that he barely came past my ankles trotting in front of me discovering the world and making me rediscover it. He guided me to your missionaries, Lord, who I saw from afar below the Château de Nice hill on the Quai des Etat's-Unis, two young men, so handsome in their impeccable suits.\" They came towards me, more resplendent than the glorious sun on that beautiful February day. I saw nothing but them, despite the crowd that lounged about in the mild weather before the blue sea beneath the clear sky.
We talked for more than an hour, forgetting the crowd that wandered around us. They asked me if I knew of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When I told them that I went to a party there some two months earlier and that I really appreciated it, they were surprised and happy. They asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. I replied that yes, I had been raised in the Catholic faith and that I was very practicing up to the age of 20, but that I had left because I thought it was not the church of God, but a church of men like all other churches on earth.
They spoke to me of Joseph Smith, telling me that in 1820, he had a vision in which God and his son Jesus Christ had appeared to him and that he had restored the original church of Jesus Christ, that he was the first prophet and that a prophet led his church today and that he received revelations from God. I told them that was pretty good but that all churches said they possessed the truth, that they spoke for God, but that they all contradicted themselves in their practices. Why should I believe them more than other churches? They handed me a book. It was the story of a Jewish people who had fled Jerusalem 600 years before Christ, by the Lord's commandment, because the city would be destroyed and its inhabitants massacred and some taken captive and enslaved by the king of Babylon and that God had led them to America instead.
They told me that the book was the record of this people until 400 A.D. kept by the prophets who had transcribed the revelations of the Lord, before being hidden because the people had become so wicked they killed the remaining believers. The book, called the Book of Mormon, was another witness of Jesus Christ. They surprised me when they gave it to me, telling me to read it and pray to God and ask if this book was true and that God would answer me. I wanted to pay them but they refused, saying that they could not accept any money because the word of God can not be sold. I left them after giving my phone number and quickly returned home eager to begin reading this book that seemed so important to them.
I was more than skeptical, but an incredible senseless hope filled me. After 28 years had I finally found what I wanted since my twenties? I began to read the first words, the first sentences, the first page ... and when I arrived at the testimony of three witnesses, a great warmth filled my body, a great peace, a great calmness immersed me, the tension of so many years of doubts, of searching had disappeared. My eyes dimmed and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had found the church of God and that I had met his messengers.
I thank the Lord for having answered my first prayer, for making his church known to me through my sister and my nephew, and then for giving me this little dog that allowed me to leave, which led me to missionaries.
I know, without a doubt, that our savior Jesus Christ lives, that he restored his church on earth and the fullness of his Gospel through the prophet Joseph Smith.
I know, without a doubt, that the Book of Mormon is His Word, just like the Bible, and that both testify of Jesus Christ.
I know without doubt that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the original church restored and that a living prophet and twelve apostles receive the word of God through revelation to lead his people on the path that Christ has charted for us, his children, if we accept to follow his commandments, to go back to God, our divine Heavenly Father, for Eternal Life.
This is my testimony.
I pray, O Lord my God, that you might touch the hearts of those who will read this and they can know for themselves whether this is true.
Father, grant to all those who seek you to find you, send them your missionaries as you did for me.
In the most Holy Name of your beloved son, Jesus Christ.
Amen
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