|
VIEW PERSONAL BELIEFS
|
|
POSTED BY:
|
WillowTheWhisp
|
|
DATE:
|
09.07.2008 |
|
SUBJECT:
|
My Baptism |
|
LOCATION:
|
Accrington, United Kingdom
|
|
Once I had realised that I actually had a testimony of the truth of the restored gospel I was eager to make the decision to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It had taken me long enough to realise that I knew it was true. Perhaps I felt I had dithered too long as a half Baptist half Catholic who was attending occaisional LDS meetings and enjoying them.
Well, I'd had my 'burning bush' moment and the decision had been made - I wanted to be baptised and as soon as possible.
I was teaching a primary Sunday School class in the Baptist church and I think it came as rather a surprise to my fellow teachers when I announced that I wouldn't be back as I was leaving the Baptist church entirely. I told them I was planning being baptised into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which puzzled them on more than one level. Firstly I had previously been baptised in the Baptist church, by full immersion as described in the Scriptures. It puzzled them why I would feel the need to do it again. How do you explain to someone that you feel that what had previously been done, albeit with the best of intentions, had not been carried out with the proper authority without hurting their feelings? Secondly I knew that some of them believed the Mormons were a brainwashed American cult whose members needed rescuing. I knew this because I too had once felt that way. I'd been there when the subject had been discussed on how best to 'enlighten' the poor young missionaries who called at your door. So, it didn't surprise me that people I had known for years thought I'd suddenly lost a few marbles.
I talked it over with one of the members of the Church in the Ward I would be attending. He was very wise and understanding. He advised me not to try to convince them that what I was doing was right, but to allow the Holy Spirit to do that. At the time my late Mother was also attending the Baptist church on and off and she was more or less sure that this was just another one of my 'little fads' and that I would soon get over it.
I decided to invite her, my Baptist friends, and anyone else who was interested, to come along to my baptism.
I was excited and by now 100% sure that I was doing the right thing. One of the people I invited was my friend Peter. He said he would come although he wasn't the least bit religious and couldn't even remember the last time he'd been to church, had never possessed a Bible and didn't know much apart from the basic stories like Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark and something about lions but he wasn't sure if it was Daniel or Androcles that was the Biblical one! However, he did realise that this step meant a lot to me and that impressed him.
The night before my baptism I was laying in bed when I suddenly felt the room grow colder and darker. It felt as if a huge heavy black fog had been landed on top me and I was unable to move. The weight of it made it almost impossible to breathe. I had never felt such a feeling of utter hopelessness and dread in my life before. I tried to cry out but couldn't open my mouth. In my mind I tried to pray but it felt like the black fog had somehow invaded my thoughts and I couldn't even find words in my head to pray. I was enveloped in total and absolute despair. It was the most horrible thing I have ever known. Then just as suddenly into my mind came the account of Joseph Smith's First Vision where he related what had happened before he saw Heavenly father and Jesus Christ.
He said:
"I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction."
Like Joseph described, just as I felt that this was the most awful feeling ever, it suddenly lifted from me and I felt peace and comfort. I knew that my baptism the following day was something that Heavenly Father wanted me to do and that he was pleased with my decision. If I hadn't felt that awful negative feeling I don't think I would have been able to appreciate how contrastingly comforting and peaceful the feeling was of knowing that what I was doing was right.
All I can remember of my actual baptism service was the feeling I had coming up out of the water. I have no idea what hymns were sung or who spoke or what they spoke about. The colleague who had first introduced me to the church was the person who baptised me. I had previously been terrified of water, in fact I still am. I get dizzy just looking at a swimming pool and can't even paddle in the sea so the idea of going completely under the water (for the second time in my life as I'd done this once before as a Baptist) was not one I relished the thought of. Yet when I came up out of the water I felt wonderful. It was an amazing privilege to have been given the opportunity of a whole new start. I hadn't ever had this feeling before, this absolute knowledge and assurance that any previous sins were totally washed away and forgotten. I felt like the cleanest, newest, most wonderful creature on earth.
At that time it was normal practice for new converts to receive the Holy Ghost on the same day and so as soon as I was dry and dressed I was led into the chapel where the service continued with the laying on of hands to confirm me a member of the church and confer upon me the gift of the Holy Ghost. If I'd thought the feeling following my baptism was wonderful it had only been in preparation for this. I had heard members of other churches referring to 'baptism of the Holy Ghost' and been told that it was something spectacular which manifested itself in speaking in tongues and other flamboyant things. This was different. This was a warm comforting glow of something which felt like I was home where I belonged, like being hugged by a long-lost parent.
Amongst my friends in the congregation there were those who didn't particularly react at all, but there were those who were also moved by the occasion. One friend felt something, but misunderstanding what it was because she was sure that Mormons were brainwashed and misguided fools, she was afraid of what she was feeling and she ran away. She ran out into the grounds and refused to come back into the building because she didn't want to feel what she felt in there.One of the older members tried to explain to her that it was the Holy Ghost and that it was nothing to be afraid of, but she would not stay.
In direct contrast to her was Peter's reaction. He too felt something and didn't know what it was except to say that he knew it was good. He was the one who didn't know much about Christianity, didn't know much about the scriptures but was so moved by the Spirit that he couldn't stop tears rolling down his face. He spoke to the missionaries following the service and arranged to have lessons from them. Two weeks later he was baptised. He began to study the Bible and the Book of Mormon and amazed me with his understanding. He was eventually called as the Ward Mission Leader and was a terrific missionary. He also became my husband. We often joked that mine was the longest and his the shortest conversion story in the Ward.
The friend who ran away continued to avoid us whenever we ran into each other - she even took another aisle in the supermarket once when she saw me coming towards her. I think she still thinks we have been brainwashed. Brainwashed? No, but spirit and soul washed certainly. As the scriptures say we are washed in his blood. Though our sins were scarlet they will be white as snow.
One of my favourite hymns is "I stand all amazed". I do indeed stand amazed at the love Jesus offers me. I tremble to know that for me he was crucified, that for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died. He did that for me! That is absolutely amazing. I know I don't deserve it and will forever be in his debt but I am so grateful to him for all that he has done for me, that he was willing to suffer for all the stupid things I have ever done and to take the punishment which I deserved so that I wouldn't have to and so that I can have the opportunity to return to live with my Heavenly Father. How amazing is that? I can never adequately express my gratitude to him but I try.
|
|
|
|
FairLDS.org
LDS.org
MormonWiki
Mormon Encyclopedia
FARMS