I was raised in a devout Catholic household.  My parents, good people both, were very proud that our Catholic heritage could be traced back hundreds of years.  I was taught that my Catholic faith was a gift from God to be handled with awe and respect.  Questions that were considered provocative were not invited.

I have always been fascinated by the prospect that the world was not comprised of only Catholics.  I would wonder what the other faiths believed and how could God have created such a world where so many were right but so many were wrong?  One day when I was 12 two Mormon missionaries knocked on our door.  My mother was gracious but let it be known that this was a Catholic home and would always be one.  My girlfriend and I started to talk to the missionaries about the church we were fascinated by their explanation of their beliefs.  We were each given a copy of the book of Mormon and an invitation to come back and discuss it further.  Knowing how well that idea would be received my friend and I accepted the book but declined the invitation.  I kept the BOM for many weeks and tried to read it but could not follow it.  One day my mother found it in my room and told me I didn't need this and took it away.  I respected her too much to challenge her authority.  But from that first meeting I have always had a hunger to learn more about the LDS church and have educated myself over the years.

I was a devout Catholic until I graduated from Height School.  After that I attended church and received the sacraments sporadically.  I knew something was missing but I didn't know what it was.  Since no one in my family going back 200 years had married outside of their faith much less converted to another faith I resigned myself to always having questions and no answers.

In the meantime I did as expected.  I met a nice Catholic boy, fell in love, got married in the church and baptized our two children in the church as expected.  Still I never felt like I truly had Christ in my heart. 

About 2 years ago I became extremely sick for a very long time.  It was touch and go for me and even to this day they do not know exactly what happened.  While I was struggling with this my friend invited me to her church and I felt what did I have to lose.  Something happened during that service that I can only describe as the Holy Spirit.  I felt a love emanating toward me and through me like nothing I could ever explain.  I went back the next week and the next and it kept happening though not as intensely.  I prayed to be healed and I was healed. 

I knew that I had to make a change spiritually but did not know where to begin.   I told my wonderful husband that I just could no longer go on pretending I was happy as a Catholic.  Coming so close to death can make you brave and what was seen as impossible before is now possible with Heavenly Father's help.

My husband would have preferred things stay the same.  But he recognized that he rarely went to church and I was the one responsible for our kids’ religious education.  He eventually agreed to look for a new church where we all might be comfortable.  We attended 1 service at a local Presbyterian Church.  Shortly after that my husband decided that he didn't want to try any other churches and remain with the Presbyterians.

For a few months I was ok with that choice but as time went on the old feeling came back that there was something more.  There was something God wanted to show me and that my journey was not over.  I contacted the LDS church via their website and a month later 2 missionaries met with me.  That was about 5 months ago.  I believe I have a testimony for the church.  When I am reading scripture with them or at Sacrament meeting I get a felling like no other and it does not ebb and flow. 

I believe I would have already been baptized by now if it were not for my husband.  He is terrified of change and the LDS church has a lot of enemies in the world who try to discredit it.  He has met the missionaries, had them, over for dinner and even went to 1 church service with me.  He is a great guy but he was always uncomfortable with my doing this and he finally got to the place where he could not take it any more.  He demanded that I stop all contact with the church.  He was very upset and adamant and not in the right place mentally or spiritually to have a constructive conversation bout this.  So I agreed to give it some time and come back later and try and discuss it then.  Well several months have gone by and he is not angry anymore but still as determined that I stop all activities concerning the church. 

I have prayed and fasted but nothing has softened his heart.  So I continue to go as before out of respect for him and the harmony of my family.  But in my heart I know the church is true. 

I wish I could declare myself as LDS but I cannot.  But I cannot say I am "Protestant" because I am not.  So I am talking every day to heavenly father and trying to live a life of prayerful hope.  But I always get very sad on Sunday's because I want to be at Sacrament Meeting and can't.  So I will share this story to my new friends on this site.  Perhaps some of you have been in similar circumstances and could offer some words of advice.  Thanks for reading - sorry for the length of this post.