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I'm really happy with my life as it is now. I'm not the richest, I'm not the smartest, I'm not the prettiest, I'm not the best scriptorian. But, I have a job that I love (most days). My husband loves me, challenges me, makes me better, and communicates with me. I love my home, even though it's a very small basement apartment, it fits our needs and we are blessed to have it (free rent!). I've seen my growth as a person, woman, and wife in the past couple years. I couldn't cook anything more complicated than Top Raman and I hated cleaning 2 years ago. Now, I'm always looking for new things to try to cook and...I still hate cleaning, but I get some satisfaction out of having a clean home.

 

My husband and I work a lot. Too much? I work a swing-ish schedule and he works graves. Not only that, but I commute about 1 hour each way. This means most days we only ever see each other for a few minutes in the morning when he wakes me up before falling asleep to last us until the weekend. I miss him dearly during the week. He rejuvenates me. His spirit uplifts me and gives me strength when I'm dragging.

Like I said, we work hard and we have plans. We're trying to plan for retirement now. He's going back to school to do something he enjoys. We want me to be able to stay home when we have children. We want to be able to travel. We want to go on mission. We want a house (anyone ever looked at the Seattle housing market?  I don't want to live in a basement apartment forever). I want the time and means to serve the women in my ward whose needs I see in Relief Society. I want missionary opportunities. I want to have enough money so I don't feel guilty when I go out to lunch or splurge on something for my home. I want enough to give of myself to those in my family and community.

Is this wanting too much? My husband thinks I'm impatient. That could be part of it. But I think there is more to it. I know the Lord will provide for my family and me because we are doing all we can to get out debt (stupid school and car loans), go to school, work hard, and make money any way we can think of. We pay our tithing and try our best at living gospel principles. However, it's almost impossible to see how all these relatively simple 'wants' can happen the way our lives seem laid out right now. I know, it's easier to have patience when you can see the end of the road. It requires more faith to walk around in the dark than know everything that lays ahead, but, oh, it does get discouraging sometimes, doesn't it? A flashlight every now and then would be nice.

I know the Lord will provide for us, but is it wrong to want more than the bare necessities? Like the security of having financial independence and stability and all the other things I listed? Is it too much? Those bare necessities (ie a house) aren't so bare and I think that's why I wonder if I'm being selfish, arrogant, and spoiled to want and ask for more. I know we need to put in our time to struggle in order to reep our rewards, but I also know there is the possibility that we may not see those rewards in this life. I hate to feel like I'm being worldly or superficial, but I also hate worrying about every dollar when I know my husband and I want to do so much. That's why I've started taking Web design classes; hopefully, I'll gain the ability to add supplemental income and do it 'full-time' from home when children arrive. See, we're trying to plan ahead and earn our keep.

I love the Lord, but I am stubborn and need to trust Him more. That's a lesson He's been trying to teach me for a while. Hopefully, I'll learn it soon, so He doesn't have to teach me too much more 'financial humility'.

How many pregnant women do you know? Personally, the number is growing every day for me. Does it seem like everyone is having a baby or trying to have a baby? Members, non-members, first time mothers, 4th time mothers, single moms, teenage moms, older moms, etc. I can barely go a week without finding out that someone is pregnant. I even heard something about it mentioned on the news, so I know I'm not the only noticing it.

It got me wondering...what's the dealio? I thought about the Lord's purpose for us and the reason our spirits need bodies. We've been told that we are approaching the end of days, the Millenium, the Second Coming, or whatever you want to call. Perhaps, this 'baby boom' is God sending in His reinforcements before that comes. Maybe, this is the 'surge' of getting as many spirits into bodies as possible before that time.

When I take a step back and think about that, I realize how psycho-religious that sounds. Sure, we could explain the baby boom in social, cultural, economical, etc. terms, but....there could be another element. One that sounds weird, but could be legit....? Does that sound weird to you?

Do you think the Lord sending in his reinforcements for the last days?

On a different note: I finished a web design class I was taking through a local community college and I rocked it! I'm a good student, but I am not a computer person, so this class was really hard for me. My testimony has surely been reinforced that if we try our best, the Lord will fill in the rest. Now let's see if I can remember it...

Tags: Babies

I heard this story yesterday and more about it today. One in four girls between the ages of 14-18 has at least one STD. Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous and gross...look out boys.

On the radio they posed the question: whose fault is it? Are parents not having "the talk" with their kids anymore? Is it the media, music, etc.?  What do you think the problem is?

I think it's a combination of things. I don't think that it's necessarily not having 'the talk' (I never got the talk) because generally kids hear about it one way or the other. Even as members of the church, we learn how important sexual purity is (even if they don't go into the anatomy of it all). But, I think parents could be more open with their kids about the dangers of sex (and all sex acts) and they need to have it while their kids are younger (as disturbing as that is).

The media also plays a part. We all know the shows, movies, music, etc that's out there; it's influential and appealing because they display all the pleasure, but none of the risks, which I think is why a lot of kids are having sex younger and younger...they don't understand the risks (try explaining chlymdia to a 10 year old). We can blame the media all we want, but they aren't going to change. So let's move on.

My opinion: I put a lot of the responsibility on parents, not for not having 'the talk', but for allowing their children to be in situations they should not be in. Since when is it ok for high school kids to be going to college parties? Since when is it ok for kids to be staying out until 2am? Parents need to man-up and lay down the law. If we can keep our children out of questionable situations (the best we can), I guarantee that STD rate would fall. Ask where they're going on a Saturday night and give them a curfew! Why do they allow their 14 year old to date a 19 year old? Hello, anything wrong with that picture? And it's not uncommon. What do these parents think is going on?!

It's easy: know where your kids are going and who they will be with. You don't like it? They don't go. They throw a fit? Take away the car (or whatever). Hey, I know this isn't easy. I'm 1 of 5 kids and only 2 of us are active in the church. My folks tried hard to get my sister to stop dating the drug dealer from school (boy, does she regret that one now). The thing is, I think there are many parents who are scared that their kids will 'be mad' at them or 'hate' them. It's called....(drumroll) tough love. A lot of parents are making it way too easy for their children to do whatever they want (be out to 2am), go wherever they want (a questionable party), and be with whomever they want (older boys). I'm not saying this is all parents, but I bet it's the majority of the parents of that 25% (3 million) of girls with an STD.

I understand this is also partially culturally and socioeconomically related. How is a single parent with 2 jobs supposed to know where their kids are all the time? I don't have the answer for that, but I do think we could all be doing a better job if we made protecting our children from STDs a priority.

Bottom line: parents of our country need to be smarter and tougher with their kids.

I'll ask again, what do you think the cause of this outrageous statistic is?

Tags: Sexual Purity Responsibility Parenting

I've been reading these blogs about marriage and it got me thinking about how I was prepared to accept my calling as a wife (not yet a mother). As a preface, I had an institute teacher that said the Lord prepares us for the next step in our eternal progression when that time is right; ie, he's not going to throw someone into a marriage, unless they've been prepared for it. I also had a friend that said "A person is ready for marriage, when they are ready to accept the challenges of marriage." I think that applies to any major life change.

When I was younger, I remember being offended at the thought that church leaders said women should stay in the home. No way! I was going to be an anthropologist or something and a wife and mother. There was no reason, in my mind, I should be confined to the home when I knew I had great potential to be great at other things. I had a couple friends who got married young, and I knew "They are sooo going to miss out on things. I'm not one of them."

I've always had a strong testimony of the church, but like most members of the church there have been and are issues that I've had to struggle with, study about, pray about in hopes of understanding better, and then eventually change my mind on. Being a wife and mother was one. Looking back, I knew the Lord was preparing me for marriage when I started having experiences, conversations, and inspirations that led me to defend members who got married young from attacks by people outside my faith. Then I began to realize, how important a role wives (and mothers) have and what an important step marriage is in everyone's spiritual progression. I looked back at those girls who got married young and realized that it's not for me or anyone to judge the choice they made; that's what the Lord needed from them at that time.

You guessed it; I ended up getting married in the Seattle Temple right before I graduated from college at the ripe old age of 20 and have been happily married for more than 2 years now. The Lord has given me the experiences/inspirations to change my mind about having children and being a stay at home mom since I have been married; it wouldn't have made sense for Him to prepare me for that before I got married, would it?! The Lord has a plan; He knows what he's doing...even if we don't.

In defense of getting married 'young': I love it. Granted, I was probably the oldest 20-22 year old you ever met; graduated from college, married, has a 'real' job, and drives a Volvo stationwagon. Nice. I understand that a lot of people who get married young have a tough time. However, if we are hearkening to the Lord and it is Him who says it's our time (not us saying it's our time), there is so much that can be learned. Because I was married young, my husband and I have really grown together. We didn't grow individually and then try to mash our lives together; our lives have grown together like two trees coming together to make 1 tree (corny, I know, but visual, yes?). If you look at the canopy, you only see the fruits of 1 tree; you only know there's 2 trees when you look at the roots. We've had so many experiences together that have made us close. We've learned basic life things togethers, we've struggled together, we've laughed, we've cried, and all that has made us a stronger couple. My strength is in us as a couple and in our marriage because that's really what I've learned to grow into. I don't want people to think I'm not a strong individual (I am; I have an opinion on just about everything), but I'd be willing to put the strength of our marriage and what we've been through together against that of anyone who decided to wait until they were 30 because they wanted to wait until they were financially stable, etc. I don't want people to think that I'm hating on people who get married when they're older, but I really think that a lot of people (even members of the church) judge those who get married young as "not knowing what they're getting themselves into" or "they're making their lives a lot harder on themselves by not waiting." Personally, age has nothing to do with it. The Lord's plan does.

This was way longer than I thought it would be, but that is my story of how I became converted to marriage.

Tags: Marriage

Warning: this is not spiritual.

I get 8-10 hours of sleep almost every night, usually 9-10, but sometimes and suffer and only get 8. I know, I know: poor me! You want to know the worst part? I'm still tired all the time! I don't know what my problem is! I have been sick recently, but I'm pretty much recovered. My mom asked me if I was depressed because I told her I have such a problem getting out of bed. I don't think I'm depressed; I'm not a bubbly person, but who is unless they're on drugs? I think I just really enjoy my king sized bed (if you don't have one, get one). She asked me if I was stressed at work...and that could be it because I'm one of those people who has a tough time leaving work at work. However, being the sometimes-pessimist that I am, I wonder if there's not something else going on with me. That thought is a little scary.

I wasn't always like this. In high school, I always got up for early morning seminary (mostly because I'd feel guilty if I slept in). I college, I didn't even think about starting homework until 11:30pm...even if I had that 8am class (I only made that mistake 1 semester). But since I've been out of college (and married for that matter), it doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get, I can always sleep more. I have the distinct talent of being able to fall asleep pretty much anywhere, anytime (except for stupid airplanes!) For the most part I'm cool with that. However, it's really enraging (when I have the energy) when I know I have ton of things to do, but can't seem to get them done because I'm tired. My poor husband sometimes has to get by on 4 hours of sleep (or less) and I complain that I'm tired when I got 10 hours!

For this reason, I finally made an appointment with the doctor...wish me luck. 

I never really thought of myself as a blogger. A writer, maybe. A blogger, no. However, I have been motivated by several 'calls to arms' by the brethren of the church and a certain LDS Harvard scholar, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, whom I was fortunate enough to hear recently at a fireside. Her message that the Latter Day Saints need to start defining themselves instead of letting others define them spoke true to my heart. I think a lot of us would rather let someone run with misinformation about us then correct them and risk an argument. I truly think the time for that has come to end. We got by long enough with that approach, but we have a point of view that is worth being heard and we need to start speaking up. People might think it's weird that we don't drink coffee, but I think that most rational people respect our lifestyle and respect that we are disciplined in what we believe...even if they don't know what we believe. There are so many news stories, magazine articles, and other media out there that loudly spreads myths, un-truths, misinformation, ambiguity, and even lies with hardly any 'other side' of the story to counter them. Rarely is the the Mormon perspective given more than a closing paragraph, if that. We have to turn our quiet, shaky disagreements with these media into a firm, "That's wrong. You're wrong about that. This is what we really believe..." I think until we do that, people will say, "I know a Mormon family. Their really nice," while in the same breath saying, "But, I'd still have major concerns about electing a Mormon as the President of the United States."

I'm not saying that the Saints need to be  combative or confrontational. Quite the opposite. We need to have a spirit of humility, meekness, and understanding, following the example of Savior. However, I don't think anyone would ever describe Jesus Christ as a pushover. He taught his message with meekness and firmness. We must do the same. We need to let people know that we're at the table, which alone will change the conversation. Just letting those around us know that we are members of the church opens doors, if not immediately, then down the road. But we can't stop there! We need to speak up when the issues of God, politics, our weekend activities, our interests, etc come up.  We must begin to define ourselves louder than we have in the past. We have no reason to quiet, so we need to speak up.

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