Hey you numbskull! You left ME. You are always leaving ME. Then you show up out of the blue, break my heart again, and I just LET you!

You're just so dang cute I can't help it!

Elphie

Oh great day! Tiancum didn't forget about me!

What was I to think? I had asked you to be my friend almost a MONTH ago, but heard nothing. I was so confused, it affected every waking hour.

I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I went online 24 hours a day, trying to figure out what I had done to my online crush that you would ignore me so. Obsessions that I thought were long gone reared their ugly head again. I started seeing you everywhere, even though I'd never met you. But I had seen a picture, and had studied it for hours! 

So I'd be at the grocery store, and I'd see you buying tampax for yout wife, and tears would just roll down my cheeks, not just because you had rejected me, but because men who buy their wives Tampax ARE THE BEST!!!

Even worse, my online crush had not only left me, but you were rubbing it in my face because you were HERE! but had not answered my outreach to you, my extended hand, my picture of my peducre that I thought sure would get your attentions, because for some reason hyou strike me as a toe-sucker kind of guy. 

So imagine my joy, my ecstasy, my ave maria full of grace when I saw your message today and discovered that YOU HADN'T ABANDONED ME after all! I am speechless and stunned. Maybe I can even go out and buy my own tampax now. Well, except that I no longer have a uterus...but still! You get my dritt.

Okay T,

Don't worry. I'm not going to stalk you...you know how I like to write stupid stuff. Tag,you were it. I did wonder why you hadn't responded, so I'm glad to know it was because you're so dumb  YOU DIDN'T NOW HOW.

Great to see you back on the board.

Elphie