I was very active in my lutheran faith. I attended Sundayschool every Sunday from teh age of 4 to around 10 dragging my poor friends out of bed at 9.30 Sunday morning! I red the NT when I was 14. I become a sundayschool teacher when I was 17. At 17-19 I also was a member of the youth leadership of our congrigation. I was in summer conferances of the youth. I also held summer camp for kids at the age around 20.  My grandfather was the Dean of theology in Helsinki university all my family was and stil is strong lutherans. My dad whom I dearly loved should have beeb the next preast in the long famliyline of priests, but he was bothered by manic depressivity.            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                So HOW  and WHY would I change my religion? I really was happy and strong with mine, so why the change?
I red the BoM asking this question in a prayer: Lord show me all what is written here, that is against your word in the Bible! I found nothing, that would be against the Bible. Instead I found total love, I found my saviour. BoM made my faith even stronger.

I was asked if I believe in profets ... yes I did... There definately had been profets earlier, why not now.      Could I think that there might be profets today and do I think we could use one today... yes I did...  why would God close the door on us?                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                          Could JS be a Gods profet.. COULD HE? I tougth a while and answered :yes. I think he COULD, why not? It is possible.
From that my testimony began to grow. It was like ariving to a beautiful meadow with many new colourful flowers to pick and admire.
I did not know so much about the Church at teh time I was babtized, but I knew enough, the spirit had touched my sole and I knew it ... and I knew God knew it ... so I could not deny it. This was totally between me and my God.... well my suprise was enormous as in my babtizement there were a house full of spectators, and a totally suprised me, got loads of Church books to read (which I now need in my defending work). I never since have seen sooo many people in one babtizement! I just gotta love those people (in Finland)!
I just want you to ask yourself HOW much do you have to know before entering the waters of babtizement? WHAT is the most important things you need to know before you should get babtized? After all, all God asks from us is that we believe in Jesus Christ and his atonement (Which I had done since very little)... to acept Him as our saviour... that and NOTHING else is the right reason for babtizement everythign else is unimportant.  
You may say that you been already babtized for those reasons and got your confirmation later, so was I .. so why change?

Babtisement with priesthood from God. My grandfather as you may recall was a priest He could show his priestline all the way to Jesus Christ. But still I could understand and accept the great fall. I could ahve chosen to be hurt when someone told taht my dear grandfathers priesthood was not true adn those young boys would be holding the real priesthood. I came to understand what mormons ment, when they said there was a great fall. It was no attack to my lutheran belief, just a fact.            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                    My grandfather might even have had a chain all the way to Jesus Christ, but somewhere on that chain had to have happend a mistake. First of all The Roman Bishop was never officially made the leader of the Church, so he never had the keys to parctice the leadership. It was Constantin a non Christian pagan Cesar, who chose him to be the highest leader. Also when Luther made his protest, he was not goign to start any new Church, it was those that followed him that formed the church. Luther himself said he did not want that to happen, but it did and it became Luthers Church, that preached the way he understod the gospel. He was a good man and saw there was somethign wrong with Catholism, but the time of restoring was not there yet.            &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;       So I understood that IF JS was a profet the BoM was true and also the prisethood keys had been given back to the earth. To have thsi happen they ahd to be takenb away first... Fall seemed reasonable to me.          I never was in to the babtisement of babyes, and now I learned that one should decide him/herself if they want to follow the will of God adn show it through a babtizement jsut lie the Bible says. Priests even in the time I was in secondary school said, that babyes who die without babtisement go to hell. I found that most discusting. To me God was love.. what love would that be? today they say... we dont know ... we are not supposed to know everything... hmm                 &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         &nb sp;      Also as I was tought of babtizing by immersing seemed just the only RIGHT way to do it to me. Also the age 8 made sense. If you look at jewish ways the tender ages 8 and 12 in a childs life are extra  important. Also I as a teacher know that when a child reaches 8 years of age his/her brainfunctions alter and he/she begins to understand right and wrong. It all made sense to me.

God with a body? To some people that seems to be difficult to believe, but I had read Bible many times and I could not understand trinity, I could not believe God was like steam everywhere, that Jesus was just a embodied God the Fther whom he many timse talke to. However I could understand that God was everywhere through His servants and ... why not webbcams One thing I also do not believe is that we cant understand God and that we are not even supposed to. WHY would God make us if we were so stupid... like cabageheads compered to Him. Hmm you can eat cabbage, I hope .... Well ok it is nice to have a dog... but would you go all that trouble just to make dogs for you? People eat dogs...

I did ask about the plural marriage, but I knew in my heart that the answer really did not matter. I would not be babtized to the church because of plural marriage neither could it keep me away... the profets of olden times were also married plurally... Jesus was called Rabbi a name that was given to a teacher who was plurally married...

An you know they never tell the usual members everything.... uh yeah sure. Same accusitions that have been going on since Joseph Smith. And who keep them going on... the ministeries of other Churches that call themselves Christian, the ones that have been excommunicated, the ones that have resighned the Church and the ones that look for any Church to destroy. Btw it is interesting to see how this Church is attaced in things that other Churches get away with, why would the evil attac Churches that are not rigth anyway. He attacs the real Church of Jesus Christ and leaves the others alone. This has been a great testimony for the truthfullness of this Church to me.

Mormonsbooks autencity. IF I believer JS WAS a Gods profet, thus the fact that BoM was true was more eveident than ever. To be babtized was a jumpp into dark in many ways, but during the years I been a member I never met anything, that would shake my faith and I been through the most terrible accusitions against my faith and my Church. The Church stands Profet Joseph Smith stands  as well as our leaders today. This is the true Church of Jesus Christ.   Amen   

Tags: Faith Babtizement

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The soccerball/football
I am a fotball... I was a beautiful and happy worldcamp fotball for a short time. I was played a nobel game with. Then I was degrated and given to kids. I was beeing kicked her and there, though the mudd and water, against the wall. It hurt. I was left outside in rain and snow and sunshine.
My surface was not any more smooth and shinny, but full of cracks in the leather and scratches, then one day I got a hole! And they still kept kicking me. It hurt so bad. I ended upp muddy and empty under some bushes in the park.
Today I saw Jesus... He picked me up, looked at me frendly and turned me in his hands. His hands were frendly, comforting and renewing. His eyes were telling me he would heal me. Would I dare...

Tags: Pain Trials Healing

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This is something I saw with my minds eye when the troubles hit my life hard.

I was climbing a mountain. It was hard but I climbed pretty fast. I was all consentrated in climbing. then I noticed I was almost at the top. I could see the blue sky and a few white clousds slowly moving across the sky. Weather was nice and warm. I was pretty tired after the climb and eagerly waited to get over the topp so I could rest.

I got my hand over the edge and the other one. I was hanging on my hands now and pulled myself up to see the beautiful plato on the topp. I sowa a glimpse, but mostly I saw black boots. Then I realised there was a shadow over me, I looked up to see who that was. He was clothed in black.

His smile was evil as he slowly lifted his foot and placed it on my fingers. I glanced quickly at him and my hand. I tought it cant be real. With a evil smile he stepped on my hand. Finally I got my hand from under his foot,, now I was hanging with only one hand. The pain was intence. I looked at him pleading. His answer was a cruel smile and he stepped on my other hand crushing it with a circle movement of his foot.

Pain vas too much I had top let go. The montain was not 90% up, but with a very slight slide. I tried to dig my hands and feet on the mountain as I sled down the slope. With my hands and knees bleeding I finally managed to stop the downwarth fall and clang to the mountain. Pain was horrible, it was not only my hands but my feet and my knees too. I reated for a while then looked around. The man in black was no wher to be seen.

I saw a small cliff a bit to the left where I might climb to and try to recover. It tok me a long time to finally be close to the cliff. I got my hand up to my elbow ove and reached to get the otjher hand over. I almost fainted for the pain. Many of my nails were gone. I had deep cuts all over my hands and knees. Then I more senced than saw the dark figure over me. He just pusehed me over with his foot. I just slid and rolled down and then stopped somewhere a long ways down. I was all muddy and too tired to move. I think I slept a long time.

Then after some time I started to climb again. My hands were sore but I did pretty good. Again I saw on my left a nice cliff I could climb up to, to rest. I climbed up slow. I got my hands on the edge. I was too tired to look up. All I heard was a horrible laughter as I felt my fingers to be crushed again.

I slid down, the slope was muddy and I did not get a grip on it. Then to my suprise I slid down into the water. Water felt good on my sore limbs even though it did smart to begin with. I turned around and rested and floated on the water. I swam slowly to a place where I tought I might get out of the water and more like rolled out of the water. I stayed a long time by the water, a few days I think.

So finally I felt I had enough strength to climd again and I started up the slope again. Had to go a bit more to the right to not ot get in the mudslide again. I climbed slowly upwarth. Then I think I was about half a way and tought I needed to rest and saw a cliff I could rest on. I climbed thowards it.... got my hand on the edge and the other hand too. Lifted my eyes and met a pair of dark evil eyes and felt the pain hit me like a knife.

This time my hands were not able to hold my weight at all and I fell instantly with the evil laughter in my ears ... there was no mountain to hold on to this time, I just fell down, down, down... Then suddenly I felt a big splash as I hit the water. This time I was too tired to even turn around. I felt my body sink deeper and deeper. I could see faces around me calling me, locking me to sink to the bottom... I could not care less.

I was totally exhausted. I felt I could not move a limb. The darkness of the bottom was totally swallowing me. then for some reason I did not sink anymore. In fact I felt as if someone had lifted me up thowards the surface. I came to the surface. Stil facing down I floated there, not really caring what would happen to me. I was taken over by some unknown force, that kept me on the surface and would not let me sink. Finally I turned on my back and floated a long time looking at the clowds and blue skyes. I could not understand why I still was there against all odds, but I was there.

Finally after a very long time I dregged myself on the shore. I sat a long time by the water. I helped others off the water. Then I went to where I had seen may start to climb the mountain. I remined there helping them up the first few meters of the mountain, giving them advice. I promiced to myself I would never try to climb up again.

Years have passed, I have not got much higher and I am stil helping others up and denying to climb myself, but I have a feeling, as if some Danites or something, do sometimes carry me a bit up, even though I fight back and scold them for carrying an old woman and not leaving her alone.  I more sence, than see, the youthful strength they have and the warm smiles and the happy voices. But I stil dont dare to climb. Carry me if you have to but I dont climb!

Tags: Faith Sorrow Life Lost Trials Pain Sinn

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During some years of my life I seen the following through my minds eyes or in my dreams:

When I was about 5 I had a bad dream: I was dead and they...all my family...carried me in the coffin. The coffin was open and I looked around me laying here.Then I sat up. One of my family kindly pressed me back in the coffin on my back and said with a finger on her mouth " Ssss you are dead, sleep now..."
I did not want to be dead. I got up sitting and shouted "No I am NOT dead" A few more hands wanted to put me back on my back... I teared myself from their grip and jumped on the road and started running...the whole funeralparty running behind me shouting " Come back you are dead... come back..." And I was looking at them sometimes from over my shoulder shouting back " No I am NOT dead!"
I stil remember the horror as I woke up, crying....
I get dreams, this is only one of them and I wondered a long time what this ment ... now I think I know

When I see a special kind of dream, I usually know something will happen... for some time a go I asked not to get the dreams any more, too much pain... but now I see I need the dreams to warn me... I asked them to come back.... maybe they will.
I am the only member of my family (except half of my own family now) in LDS Church. My both grandfathers were lutheran priests. Mothers farther was the professor of Old Testament and all preasts had to take the final exam with him. My family is pretty religious, all lutheran. My cousin is a preast. My dad had been a preast if he had not been bepolar.
As I wisited my mother once she said she was sorry that she never could discuss the religion with me and explainit to me better so I had not become an LDS... I told her it had not helped...I just wish she could understand, but she cant, she dont want to, as she thinks she would decieve her dad if she would change her religion, she dont even dare to think about it. My family is very highly learned and none of them is interested, they think I am a black sheep.
Well it says in my patriacal that I will do the work for them and will be a great teacher one day.... and that there are many good and fine spirits waiting for my work.

The stone gate

When I was newly babtised I saw a stone gate in my minds eyes. It was build with the roman style, with a bow and it reminds of the door/gate in many of the Jesus pictures. I was sitting on a stone bench in beautiful meadow. Sun was shining. The grass around was knee high and all colours of beautiful nature flowers were blooming around me. There were others too, girls and boys happily running and picking flowers. I was picking some of them, as a man sat on a stone bench clothed like people in Jesus time. He was smiling to me, I knwe Him, He was my brother, my saviour. I rested my head on his arm.

I looked thowards the gate and saw a mist of fog and a reeling which dessapeared in the mist leading to the gate. Occasionally I saw people coming thowards the gate holding to the reeling. Some where holding to it with both hands pulling themselves thowards the gate, others were just making sure it was there close by, not holding to it all the time. There were groups of people some of them followed the reeling to the gate and stepped trough. Others waved good bye and let go of the reeling and dessapeared in to the fog. Some seemed to have intense discusitions of which way to go and others tried to call to the ones stepping in to get back in to the mist.

I smiled to these who entered through the gate. Their faces were just beaming, as they got into the sunshine. They were soo happy to meet the people in the garden, who were waiting for them. Some turned back byt the gate and waved to some people stil on their way so they would hurry up.       

Then I saw my ex husband. He like many others had done before him came to the reeling looked at it confused and looked thowards the opening. I moved to the opening and I caught his eyes. He looked at me and I called for him. He looked at the reeling, but then it was as if he had not seen me or heard me, he just turned his back on it and went in to the mist.

Big teardrops were running down my face. Suddenly I felt a very comforting hand on my shoulder. He was there beside me. He was looking out and I could see the sadness in his eyes. We stod there for a while, then His loving voice told me it was time to go. I followed Him back to the garden. I felt very sad. There were some other kids playing on the meadow, He gathered them all around him and they all went on... He turned at me with a question in His eyes. I told him I`ll come abit later, I wanted to stay for a while. I stayed a long time there by the bench looking in to the mist... seeing people pass and be greeted .... waiting, hoping while everyone else went further in. Finally I too walked further in....

Tags: Dreams Faith Walue God Jesus

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