Viewing 1 - 6 out of 6 Blogs.

Today in my marriage prep class we were talking about when the ideal time is to get married. A lot of people had a lot of different theories on the subject. For some people they wanted to hit a certain age before they considered getting married, for others they wanted to accomplish certain things such as graduate before they would consider getting married. I had this kind of mind-set for a long time as well.  I was planning that I was going to be at least twenty one years old before I got married, that way I would have a lot of schooling behind me, and that had always been my plan.  Well, now here I am at nineteen years, and I am engaged to be married in June. This was never something that I had planned on happening.  

Back when my fiancĂ© first started mentioning the fact that he was thinking we should get married, I panicked. I was only eighteen at that time, and I told him there was no way I wanted to get married when I was only eighteen years old. I told him how I was going to be at least twenty one, and that had always been my plan.  He kind of dropped it and I figured that would be the end of it, but the idea of us getting married was in my head all of the time no matter how hard I tried to suppress it. Well, I decided since I couldn’t get it out of my head that maybe I should put a little bit more thought into it.  I really thought about it, came to a conclusion that it could be a good thing, and then I prayed about it.  Every time I prayed about it, I got the same feeling, and I knew it was a good thing for me to do. However, I was so set on the fact that I wanted to be at least twenty one when I got married that I kept pushing it away even though I knew it was right. Well, after quite some had gone by, I realized there was no point in me postponing until I was twenty one if the Lord was telling me it was a good idea now. So, eventually I told Jorden that I felt good about it, and now we’re getting married in June.

Anyway, my point is, that while I do think it can definitely be a good idea to have a plan for your life, and to follow that plan as much as you can, I also think it’s important to be able to change your plans to fit the plan that God has for you.

In my marriage prep class we recently read an article about what really constitutes “love.”  This article said that there are three aspects of love: cognitive - our attitudes, emotional - our feelings, and behavioral - our actions.  It said that our feelings are really not the most important part of real, mature love. This is something that might come as a surprise considering the way “love” is portrayed in our society and in movies.  The article also mentioned that love is not something that you really just happen to “fall” into.  If we view it as something we just fall into, or something that is beyond our control, then it is easy for us to justify falling out of love because we can say we have no control over it, and that it just happened.  A quote given in class said, “Mature love is possible and is sustained by beliefs that love involves acknowledging and accepting differences and weaknesses; that love involves an internal decision to love another person and a long term commitment to maintain that love and finally that love is controllable and needs to be nurtured and nourished by the lovers.”  I really like how it says that it involves making an internal decision to love somebody, and that love is controllable.  The reason we can’t base our love for someone solely and completely on our feelings is because feelings change from day to day.  If we based our love for a particular person on our feelings alone, then when that person did something that upset us or something we disagreed with, our love for that person could easily come to an end. I think it is important for us to realize that our attitudes and our actions can very much so influence the way we view love and then the way we love others.

Our readings for my marriage prep class the past couple of days have been focused on how marriage has been deinstitutionalized and also the effect that family structure has on children.  There has been a lot of research done about the effects of family structure on child well being.  We read an article called Are Married Parents Really Better for Children?  There were several questions answered in this article involving the different structures of families, the different outcomes of children among different family types, and a few other topics.  Studies have shown that for the most part, children who are raised by their married, biological parents have much more success and happiness throughout their lives.  They are far less likely to drop out of school, to become teen parents, or to have psychological problems later on in life.  They are also less likely to experience divorce themselves in their own marriages.  The chances of children who are raised in one parent homes to have problems later in life were very large. 

The importance of families in our world is significantly decreasing.  There is an increasing number of children born out of wed-lock, and divorce rates are also very high. The Family: A Proclamation to the World given by President Hinckley in 1995 warned that, “…the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”  It seems that the importance of the family in our society is definitely disintegrating.

The proclamation also extends a call to us, “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” 

So, I would just like to say that I know that family is extremely important, and I think we should all do what we can to enforce the importance of marriage and family to those around us.

The other day in my marriage prep class, we were talking about the difference between a contract marriage and a covenant marriage.  A contract marriage is one that is conditional and it is often limited in what people give into it.  A covenant marriage (which is what we all want to have of course) is unconditional, unlimited, and eternal.  Marriage is in fact an ordinance and a covenant.  In fact, marriage, according to the law of the church is the most holy and sacred ordinance that we have.  Therefore, we should treat it like that.  We should be as prepared as we possibly can to enter into such an important covenant, and to take on all of those responsibilities that come along with it.  The two different types of marriages (contract vs. covenant) were compared to the good shepherd and the hireling.  The covenant marriage was compared to the good shepherd because it is similar in that the good shepherd was completely faithful and diligent in the caring of his sheep even down to the point that he would give his life for these sheep if he had to.  This is the attitude we should have in our marriages.  We should always be willing to think of our spouse and his or her needs before we think of ourselves.  If both partners do this, there is a much greater chance of that marriage being a success than if just one or neither of the partners do this.  Both partners must be willing to give 100% of themselves to the relationship, and what is best for the couple.  Some think it is ok for both partners to give 50% to the relationship, and then together they will have 100%. However, this is not the case, we learned in our class that because we are imperfect beings, giving 50% of our imperfectness is simply not enough.  The contract marriage was compared to the hireling.  Yeah, the hireling will take care of the sheep to a certain extent, but if there is any sign of trouble or danger, the hireling will run away because he does not feel such an obligation to the sheep considering they are not really his.  This is how it is in a “contract marriage.”  Both partners are probably caring for each other and things like that, but if there is ever any problem that arises between the two, they run away which in the case of marriage can be as severe as divorcing over the first problem that comes. 

In my marriage prep class at Brigham Young University, we have been reading different talks given by the general authorities about marriage and then studying and discussing them to learn how to best prepare for marriage.  So far it has been a very interesting class, and I am glad I am taking it. 

One of the talks we read the other day had a couple of quotes in it that I thought were pretty cool.  Elder Bruce R. McConkie said, "From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come... There is nothing in this world as important as the creation and perfection of family units."
That is a pretty powerful thought, and it definitely shows how important marriage in the temple is for us to strive toward. He flat out says there is nothing that is more important on this earth. That’s pretty intense if you ask me. Another quote from Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “The family is where the foundation of personal, spiritual growth is built and nurtured; the Church, then is the scaffolding that helps support and strengthen the family.”  So, basically we need to make sure we build spiritually strong families.  Once we do that, the Church will help strengthen and support our families, but the base has to be there first from home. That is definitely a pretty big responsibility. 

Anyway, I am excited for the rest of this semester to continue learning all about such an important subject!!

  

 

In my marriage prep class at BYU, we were asked by our professor to write about what we're learning in class.  Well, we haven't started learning a whole lot about marriage just yet because it's only the first week of the semester and there have been other things we have to take care of first.  However, we did read an article about how the internet can be used to share the gospel, and how important it is for us, as members, to get out as much information as we can about what we really believe due to all of the anti-Mormon writings that are out there. So, since I don't have a lot to write about marriage prep I'm going to use this first blog as an opportunity to bear my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I know that this is the only true and living church on the earth.  I know that our prophet is truly a prophet of God and that God speaks to him just as He did to the prophets of old.  I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God and that he restored this gospel to the earth.  I know that living by the commandments of this gospel brings true happiness to people.  I am eternally grateful for this amazing gospel and the blessings that it brings into my life. I don't know where I would be without it in my life.