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Sissy, the dog I rescued around Christmas, dug out of the fenced area.  We live pretty close to a busy street, and I am afraid she will get run over.  We have driven around our small town on and off all weekend.  Not  a sighting of her, dead or alive.  She is the sweetest dog; so loving.  She would always pick up a rock, a twig, anything...to give me when I would come home.  I sure do hope she finds her way back.

 

And my family (my sis) is struggling with some in-law problems, with the two newest daughter-in-laws, which impacts on me, as I watch their children...well, it came to a head this weekend.

I am sooo not into drama/conflict.  Hopefully, all will be worked through, talked out...

As a Christmas present to myself,  this year I was going to adopt a dog from the Humane Society.  I have done that several times, except the other times have been for cats.

My last "house dogs", both died from old age.  I miss having a dog in the house.  Although my Labs, any one of them, (LOL) would be more than happy to be a house dog!!!

 

I was planning on going to the H.S. next week.  Welllll, yesterday I got a call from a Sister, saying that a "hurt" dog had showed up in their yard.  She (the dog) had no collar, and they figured she was probably hit by a car.  They took her to the vet, and she had no broken bones, just really sore/bruised muscles.  She was given Prednisone, and she healed.  This family does not have a fence, and they couldn't keep her.  They put an ad in the local paper, hoping that she would be reunited with her family.  Didn't happen. So...knowing my love of animals, she called me. She didn't outright ask if I would take Sissy (Their name for her!?) but asked if I knew anyone that wanted a dog.  Well, I just laughed; in this small-town southern area, NO ONE has fenced yards...NO ONE thinks of "fixing" their dogs...the county is over-run with stray/unwanted dogs (and cats). 

 

I told her to bring Sissy over, and if she got along with Honey (my three-legged dog I rescued from a hit-and-run accident) I would take her.  They took right to each other...

 

Sooo, it didn't happen the way I planned, but I love my Christmas present...

Daddy died Friday; we buried him Sunday afternoon.  It was a beautifully simple ceremony.  Just like he would have wanted.  The weather was perfect; cool but not cold. 

There were no formal "talks".  Grandchildren, sisters, son-in-laws...all who wanted, said a few words or told a story/remembrance of him.  He would have enjoyed his funeral.

 

This big house sure is lonely, though.  I still am not used to him not being here.  I will wake up, wondering if he is back from getting the paper; or if it is time for him to go pick up the mail...so hard to get used to him being gone. 

 

This will be Daddy's last Christmas.  He has become totally bed-bound.  He has no appetite, so eats very little.  Honestly, I do not feel that he will make it till Christmas day.  Mama died in March, and shortly after that I began to see the difference in him.  He had wanted to outlive her, so as to help me care for her; and since her death, I have seen the steady decline...he is ready to leave this existence.  I try to be "up" for my family, but I really have no "Holiday Cheer".  I am blessed to have had my parents this long, so I am trying to focus on the positive. 

Back in July my three girlfriends (in Naples) and I planned a get-together.  We decided that the first week of December would be a good time.  They scheduled themselves off at the hospital for those days.  Several fun "things" were planned...and of course there would be a shopping spree...and reservations were made for an afternoon "tea" at the Ritz.  We were all really excited, because we had not been able to get together last year, because Mama was suffering through the end-stages of Parkinson's Disease, and I could not leave her.  She passed away this past March.

I started my "countdown" on the calendar 25 days ago.  Well, with 10 days to go till the trip, Daddy went from being able to get around, do for himself, go do errands and  the grocery shopping, to being totally UNable.  It was like a light switch; now the light is on...then "click", it is off.  He now needs total care.  Thank goodness he is mentally alert.  I am not sure I could go through again, so soon, what I went through with Mama.

So while I in no way begrudge taking care of him, I am sad that I will not get to see my friends. 

"Because I have been given much, I too must give;

Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live

I shall divide my gifts from thee With every brother that I see

Who has the need of help from me."

 

I believe these words.  I know that I am blessed; that I want for nothing.  I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  I have the basics, and more, to sustain me and mine.  But that is not enough.  To truly follow the example of Christ, we have to help our fellow brothers and sisters.  To see someone in need, and to pass them by, is, to me, to deny what our Savior stood for.  His whole life was for US; helping and serving others.  How can we not do the same?  I would rather die with nothing, knowing that along the way, I had given and done for others, than to die with much, having shared with none. 

 

My Lab, Chance, was hopping around and all excited, so I went out to see what was going on.  He had somehow caught a little sparrow, and was playing with it.  I took it from him, and it was alive.  No blood; no open wounds.  Wings were intact.  It was looking at me.  But it was only moving its head a bit, and she twitched her leg when I touched it.  I wrapped her in a small towel, and nestled her in my bathroom sink.  I did get her to drink a bit of water.  So, I'm thinking she might make it.  I checked her about 15 minutes later, and she was lying quietly, her eyes open.  I was really hoping that with a bit of rest, she would be O:K:  Sadly, not to be.  She was dead the next time I checked on her.  I can only imagine her terror, as this large "beast" had her in its mouth.  His fun was her death...so sad.

I have been thinking a lot about how parents influence and mold their children.  It is a tremendous responsibility and a wonderful opportunity.  Anything can happen.  You can have less than stellar parenting skills, and your child will turn out fine.  You could do all things right, and have a delinquent.  Some vow to do it different than their parents; some strive to emulate theirs.  Two sisters, growing up in the same house, can raise such different children.  Not any of them bad...but so different.  And I can see how the children turned out, because of the parenting.  Sometimes we can do too much; give too much...and that does not allow them to grow and develop into independent, motivated individuals.  You can never LOVE too much, but you can DO/give too much. 

I happen to have lucked out though. Despite my mistakes...my faults...my ignorance; my daughter turned out to be a beautiful person; inside and out.  She is strong, smart, independent.  She is a good mother.  She is hard-working, honest, and has a big heart.  I only hope that she knows I did the best I knew how, and that I love her so much...more then mere words can convey.  I am thankful that I had the privilege of being her mom!

 

 

 

I have so much in my life to be thankful for.  I have shelter, food, clothing.  I have family and friends.  Although my friends are seven hours away, and I do not get to see them often enough!  I have the Gospel in my life.  I am blessed.

 I am retired through circumstances, not choice.  I feel like I am floating aimlessly...I help my family out by watching their little ones while they work.  As much as I love my family, and as much as I love the little ones, this is not what I would choose to be doing.  It makes me feel good that I am helping them; being of service to them during a time they need it.  But I still feel 'lost' and disconnected.  And I know that I am lucky in my life...that I "want" for nothing.  I guess I do want something, though.  I would love to have my career back.  And that makes me feel selfish.  I just feel like there should be more to my life...