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I was baptized yesterday evening. Â I feel wonderful! I wasn't sure what to expect as far as my reaction. Â I really don't have the words to describe the experience. Â Here is an excerpt from the testimony I gave: --
During my life, I have put myself in some very dangerous positions. I know that there is a God in heaven who loves me, as I would not be here today if left to my own devices. I know that all men and women, temporarily here in on the Earth, came from this loving Heavenly Father and that one day we will return. This is knowledge that I have had since I was a child, but could find no Christian organization that would acknowledge or explain our pre-mortal existence on the other side of the veil.  I know that Jesus is the Christ. Since my childhood the Holy Ghost has made known this to me, and despite my complicating things, this is supported through historical, archeological, and scholarly works from people both inside and outside of the LDS Church.  I now know that the LDS church is the restoration of the church Jesus Christ originally intended and set up 2000 years ago and led by living prophets. I know God lives, and I know he continues to accomplish great and marvelous things through men and women that are willing to listen with their hearts, and do with their hands.  I know my spiritual wandering has ended and my spiritual journey is beginning.  I leave you with this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. --
It has been awhile since I posted a blog here, so I thought it well overdue. After a conversation with the Bishop, my wife and I have come to the following decision: I will with her to the church of her choice one Sunday a month, she will come with me to the Ward I have been attending once a month. That last part was initially overlooked in our agreement, I pointed out the "marriage math" involved with me going with her 2x a month, and her never coming with me... she eventually realized that was not equitable.
Anyway, she won't let Church members come over to the house, I meet with the elders in my den when I work at home, or in the evenings. I kept my end of our agreement last Sunday and can't wait to get back to the Ward this Sunday (whew!) I am not going to push the Mrs. at all - invite, keep my end of the deal, and go from there.
Now for the great news - I've set a baptism date, March 28. I'm really looking forward to that day. I have come to know that this Church IS the true Church of Jesus Christ. I feel like I have wasted so many years flailing around, and have at last found a spiritual home.
Thank you to all here who encouraged me to press on...
Some explanation is needed here…. Last Friday night, my wife (love her dearly) came at me with the Church is a cult, they separate women and men like Islam, they tear apart families, etc. etc. There was much wailing an gnashing of teeth. On Saturday, I decided my investigation of the Church needed to stop in order to keep my marriage together. I took deleted my blogs and pictures here, consolidated all my LDS literature onto a single bookshelf for archiving purposes, and generally felt very sorry for myself. That’s why all my old blogs appear new again. Anyway, as things calmed down, my wife and I discussed the possibility of me continuing, provided I went to her church once in awhile, and made it a point to spend more time with her and less with “those Mormons”. I agreed. I went to Sacrament Meeting on Sunday with the intent of going to Sunday School and skipping the Priesthood meeting to get back earlier and go for a walk with my Mrs. When I got to Church on Sunday, I mentioned this “situation” to the missionary I have been working with lately. He must have spilled the beans because I got pulled out of Sunday School to go see the Bishop - I thought for sure I was in trouble. Other than introductions and greetings, I have never spoken with him at length. Wow, what a relief. He counseled me that my wife was probably scared (true), that there were many couples where one is LDS and the other is not, that any of the women in the Ward would drop everything for a chance to chat with her – on her terms, any time. And, here’s the one I brought home that really turned things around for us, the family is ALWAYS more important than ANY Church meeting. If she needs me on Sunday for whatever reason, my place is there – not at the meetinghouse. I went home and we took the bike up to one of our favorite day hiking trails. I told her all about my talk with the Bishop and how I really want to move forward with all this “Mormon stuff”, and do it in a way that was sensitive to her attitudes, told her about the family always taking precedence over church time, and how I hoped this could all be a positive thing for us. She agreed, stating that she felt like I was making a huge change without taking her along. Not that she wants to go along with any of this my any means. “You can’t go from nothing to being a Mormon, that’s too extreme!”, she says So, we're fine at home again, probably better than ever. I'm still wondering how me going to her church every other weekend, and her going to mine - never, is equity, but I suppose that is part of "marriage math" or something. At least we have everything out on the table where we can work with it.
Originally posted 1/25/09
The story thus far… For those of you who haven’t read by previous blog post “My beginnings”, or the Forum threads that started this all, I’m not a member of the LDS or any other church. I’m investigating the church with great skepticism from my family due to some strange draw I seem to have to Utah, the people of the Church I have known over the years, plain old curiosity, and a stirring I seem to have – a sense of hope and wonder that I experience when reading the Book of Mormon, the histories of the Church, and the story of Joseph Smith. I have been taking “the discussions” with a couple of the missionaries, and as I live out in the sticks, they have been getting rides from members of the Ward that I have been attending. My first time in an LDS Church was on January 10th. So, I have been back two more times, on January 17thand 24th, and continuing with weekly lessons with the missionaries. We have found that Friday mornings seem to work well, as I work from home on Fridays and it allows us a chance to use the whole house and not feel locked away in my den. I really don’t think that they mind, but I feel better – like we’re not hiding away or something. So far, the conversations have been about the Restoration, Plan of Salvation, and Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been reading from either the Book of Mormon, the Teaching of the Presidents of the Church – Joseph Smith, or the Gospel Fundamentals book daily. I have also been praying for a revelation that all of this is true – daily. Where to begin…. First of all, the missionaries are incredible. Some of the nicest young men I think I have ever in my life come across. I would have no problem with my daughter having an interest in any of these fellows, and that is saying a LOT. And it’s not just the suits. These guys are sincere and dedicated well beyond their years. I envy them in a way. Church has been great. My wife and daughter won’t come with me, but that’s fine. I’m doing this for me. I figure that if indeed all this is true, and I walk the path, they will or will not follow and that really isn’t my issue. I learned a long time ago, you can’t change people. Influence people yes, change them no. I have been talking to some of the fellows at Church that were converts, not “born into” the LDS Church, and many have similar stories; it starts with one member of the family and eventually many come along. Some don’t, some do, again – we can’t change people. At least I’m not getting a ribbing at home when I put on a tie and head out the door on Sunday. In fact, the wife came in to my den at 10:00 last Sunday and said, “What are you doing!?” I looked up and told her I was reading and asked “why?” She said, “It’s 10:00! Aren’t you going to Church?” “Church starts at 11:00 Hon, but thanks for reminding me” “Oh”, she says, “OK, just checking” (haha) That is a far cry from the “You’re kidding me” she threw out the first Sunday when she saw me in my Funeral/Court suit. My experiences on Sundays have been absolutely wonderful. I have been partaking of the Sacrament (there may be some technicality here) as I feel I do have a relationship with Christ that makes it perfectly acceptable for me to do so. Nobody has said anything to the contrary, so .. fine there. The talks given by the young(er than me) couples have been very uplifting and I can feel their sincerity and genuine love for God. Something missing from some of the churches I have been in. One Sunday, a member of the High Council (I think that’s what they said) spoke. Older guy, kinda monotone, and a bit hard to hear over all the kids, but his message shook me to the core. People have been falling over themselves sometimes, juggling kids and backpacks to shake my hand. Only once was someone unsure of my name, and got it right anyway. Of course, being the new guy I can count all the people I know by name on one hand, and I’m missing a couple fingers (never been real good with names) Sunday school has been great and I am amazed by the scholarship of these regular folks. One guy who taught was a Ph.D. student studying ancient civilizations – just amazing. Goes to prove that this “unpaid clergy” thing works! I have been warmly welcomed into the Priesthood Meetings and do my best to be prepared, but keep my mouth shut for the most part. Rumor got around that I was getting baptized in a couple weeks, and one guy threw his arm over my should to congratulate me. When I explained, that no, I made a commitment to come to a decision by Feb 7th, not get dunked on Feb 7th, he was a tad embarrassed, but I put him at ease and explained that I’m still working through some things myself and with my family. He laughed and said, “you really should come join us!” and I felt it was very sincere, not like the Navy Recruiter many years ago, this fellow really wanted me to enjoy the fellowship. It was quite touching in a “guy kinda way” if ya know what I mean. I have been invited many times to come over to folks houses for meals, and theye always invite wife and daughter too. I have to explain that they are still kinda shy, and the invitations always stay open. Very cool. There is an African American Art and Culture thing going on in a couple weeks. My wife is very into that sort of thing and said she would go. So, here is where I am at: As I explained to the missionaries, I think there are two decisions that need to be made before I commit to baptism and all the membership stuff. First, I need to know all this is true. On that account, I have a wonderful “spirit” knowledge that it is. The Sacred Grove, the Book of Mormon, the history of the Church, everything – all true, no doubt. Then my intellect gets involved and messes with my head. I need to let that part sit for a bit and make sure it “sticks” Second, if indeed it is all true, then I need to decide what I am going to do with it. Am I going to dive in with everything I have, everything I can give, and live the life of an LDS? Or, am I going to thank everyone for letting me check it all out, and walk away. I see no middle ground. I don’t want the middle ground – that is pointless. I have discussed this with the missionaries and a fellow at church that seems to put up with me pretty well, and they are not pushing me at all. They acknowledge my logic and are letting me wrestle it out inside. Besides, my wife thinks that I’m having some kind of “midlife crisis” and this will all pass in a few weeks. Who knows, she may be right So, the deal I am striking in my head and will present to the missionaries this Friday is as follows: Based on the fact that my spirit believes all this is true, and it is only my mind that is getting in the way sometimes, let’s assume that nothing totally bizarre happens over the next several weeks to make me totally derail. In fact, let’s assume that my faith continues to grow, and my prayers continue to be answered. I’m willing to commit to a baptism date of April 4th, 2009. That should give me plenty of time to really understand what it is I am committing to, get a chance to learn some more, and alleviate my family’s concern that dad/hubby have gone off the deep end. That’s where I stand as of today.
Originally Posted 1/14/2009
So, I took the advice of the folks here on in the LDS.net forums, and called the local Missionary office. I explained that I was just checking things out, and that it was suggested to me that I contact the Missionaries. In other words, for once in my life, I was doing what was suggested and following directions. Within minutes, I had a call from Elder Hill. I explained my situation – that I was someone investigating the church. We set an appointment for the following Monday evening. They called a few minutes before our appointed time, double checked directions, and arrived on schedule. My wife and daughter, still a little shy, helped me welcome the Missionaries and the young couple that drove them, then left us alone to talk in my den. First real question was, “What do you know about Joseph Smith?” I ran down the facts I remembered them. Elder Nelson says, “I’ve been doing this 22 months, and have never heard anyone know so much about Joseph Smith on the first visit”. We were off to a good start. We had some laughs, some serious conversation, and prayer. We went to the garage to see the bikes on the way out, laughed some more, it was all-good. I couldn’t wait for the following Sunday. Of course, my wife and daughter didn’t come with me. I wore the suit I normally keep for funerals and court. Elder Hill met me at the door and I sat with them during Sacrament Meeting. They took me over to Sunday School, and handed me off to the fellow who came with them Monday night to go to Priesthood Meeting (I told them, I didn’t feel like much of a priest, but they said I could come anyway). Nobody once said anything about my ponytail and beard. I didn’t even notice any funny looks. All day I was welcomed, greeted, people shook my hand and looked genuinely happy to see me! It was wonderful! This week, I’m catching up on the few Sunday School lessons that I need to be in step with the rest of the group. I have located the teaching materials for Priesthood meeting this week and read that. I continue to go through the scriptures and chip away at Jesus the Christ. The Missionaries and a fellow who introduced himself as a motorcycle rider are coming out tomorrow (Thursday) evening for my next discussion. I’m praying daily, giving thanks for these kind, welcoming people, and seeking a definitive answer to the questions of Moroni 10: 3-5. I think I am on my way….
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