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My husband in no way wants to try the LDS church again. I asked him if it was ok if I went back and he didn't like that idea at all. He does not have a Christian background of any kind. So we have been going to a lovely Baptist Church and I figure thats a start. What he has said is he doesnt like the rituals in the LDS church. The garments worn for the temple, the things said. Its makes him uncomfortible and he says we shouldnt have to do that stuff, that its all the mark of a cult.

I understand why one could think that but I also believe doing ceremonious things are a way to bring us closer to God. He is turned off by the idea that people who have behaved in a certain way can be exhiled from the church. He believes that is only between God and the individual. I dont know enough to be able to tell him differently. I just ask him to respect my faith journey as I have respected his but he is determined to keep me away from it all.

There are things in the bible he doesnt like or agree with. He hasnt been satisfied that the real God is 100% the God of the bible.

I am afraid to push it and push him away from all of Christianity. He believes on God but has yet to be convinced of Christ.

Im at a real conflict here. Life is so stressful at the moment. I am waiting for hear about a job or two.

Faith always used to carry me through these times.

You know those times when God is quiet? Im having one of those weeks/days where I am not hearing a lot so I am being quiet too. Listening for as some of my friends here have suggested, that still small voice. In some of my comments I have heard and maybe it was God talking too because the verse came to mind to me earlier today that a good tree bears good fruit.
I think maybe God wants me to search. To read, to ask. I have been thinking about inviting missionaries over.
I want the house to be clean first of course
That is not always so easy with two munchkins. I have not been getting the hours I need at work, we are barely getting by, I am knee deep in the study of medical terminology and all the while I am waiting for that certainty. I feel like I can bare the rest if only I am sure of who God is. Where he is.
I am afraid that I want this and so my mind will convince me it is true. Its sort of embarrassing to admit and I am sure that some of you really dont like the show but though I have always had an interest in LDS, it was watching Big Love that sparked my interest again. My husband has joked that I must be hinting at wanting sister wives but I dont and I know the show does not dipict true LDS for the most part. There are things in the show I dont want to see but the family dinamic is so alluring. As upset as some LDS where that the show would dipict temple cloathing, I saw the character Barbs experiance and it almost made me cry. It was so beautiful and I wanted to know that. To sit with people that I know I would know and love in enternity.
I feel so sorry for those people who really do live on compounds. We have one here in BC in a place called Golden. Being so close to the truth and yet so far away. Thats how my Protastant faith felt. It breaks my heart.
Thank you everyone for your comments.
I have hope I may find my way after all. Pray my husband does too please. He is so unsure about all of Christianity and yet he knows there is a God, knows there are moral truths.
Thank you again.

Ashley

Last time I blogged, a month or two ago I think, I thought that attending an LDS church would confirm or deny the truth of it for me. I was so disapointed when I left that I could not even write. It was not the churches fault at all. Everyone there was very warm and welcoming. I just didn't feel anything, or get anything out of the service or ( for me) womens relief. I was expecting more of a message during the actual ( Im not sure what you call it) service. A nice old man talked about his missionary work but didnt really have a message in what he said, like we are used to hearing every Sunday at the Pentacoastal Church.
Not that there couldnt be messages in a Mormon service, I mean we have only gone the one time and there was a guest speaker so who knows.
I am so conflicted. I honestly dont know if I am being called by God or dazzled by the gorgeous temples I see. If the allure of family togetherness that is so demonstrated, if the idea of a living prophet  ( which I admit makes sense, why would God leave us alone to interpret his word?) has me considering?
On the one hand, it all makes sense.
LDS addresses things the Protostant church doesnt touch.
On the other hand...Im just not feelin it?!
What if I just want more stability for my family, for a way for the children to really know Jesus?
And of course there is the fear instilled in all protastants of LDS. They even go as far to to believe JWs are closer to Christianity. My JW friends have explained to me that they do not celebrate many of the holidays we do because they are founded in Pagan worship ie Christmas tree and something about Ester having to do with a Pagan celebration...? I dunno.
I am mostly conflicted because I dont know if the reasons I want to believe have anything to do with faith. It paints a pretty picture and makes a good arguement but is it real?
I know you all believe, please tell me why?
I am open to hearing anything.

  I have lived on Vancouver Island for 4.5 years/maybe 5. I was told that it takes a couple years to really settle in here but I have yet to feel truly at home.

about 6 months ago my husband, our two kids and I moved into a lovely home. Small, we rent, have a water view and its close to a lot of stuff. Its really nice but we had no one really to share it with.
Our neighbors are the greatest people. Sweet, sincere and would give you the shirt off their backs if they could. They are also JWs and so we cant share so much of lifes special times with them, it has been hard.
We have another great friend who we have over for dinner and a movie often but he has no children and no steady girlfriend.
So off to church we went, hoping to meet some nice people who had kids, shared our values and could celebrate the holidays with us!
For about two months we where always welcomed warmly at the door of our neighborhood Pentecostal church. We would sing/sit and listen and an hour and maybe 15 minutes later we would leave. Its been about 5 weeks or more since we left and not one soul has called us. All the time we where there no one invited our children for play-dates, no one exchanged numbers with us or asked us much about who we where. We left sort of unseen. I tried to talk to people but I felt almost like we where outsiders and no one wanted to take the trouble to really welcome us and allow us to be a part of their church family. I almost wonder if they are glad we left!
In any case I said enough was enough. I have wanted to try an LDS church for so many years and if the church type I grew up in was not welcoming I knew God would not blame me for looking elsewhere to have fellowship with him.
I proposed it to my husband and he surprised me a few days later by saying he was open to trying.

I am feeling called this way. Sensitive to the things in this world that are not right.
I am so excited but I am so afraid of rejection. I wouldn't know where to go if this didn't work out.
My kids deserve this.

I have held back for a long time in even thinking about LDS. I became a Protestant at 13 and was always taught that the book of Mormon was an addition to the bible and that no one was supposed to add to the bible. I understand their meaning but then non-of us could ever have revelations from God. If God spoke to any of us we would not be able to put it in any kind of print.
It makes a lot of sense to me that in these times we would need a book for these times. I know the bible has revelations and that tells us what will happen in the end of days but there is a lot of arguement as to its meaning. What is literall and what is parable. It seems to me anyway from what I know about LDS so far is that there is not a million branch offs like there is with the protestant church. They seem to be of one body and that makes sense to me. Having the care and rearing of family at thier core makes a lot of sense to me too. I mean what would the enemy first attack with us that would bring the rest of the world down with it? The family.
I have felt God and spoken to him many times. We have had jokes just between us, I have learned so much but it was always on my own time with him. I had always felt somehting lacking when I went to church. I had always been interested in LDS but too afraid it was not the right way. I wonder now if God was maybe just waiting for the right time? That and maybe my fear about it was not a warning from God but the enemy whispering in my ear, trying to steal me from the right direction. I dont know. I just know that next sunday when my husband, my two little babies and I walk into that building, I will know.
I will feel it one way or the other.