[B][FONT=Courier][SIZE=7][COLOR=red]well here goes. This past year I've discovered a few things about who I am and whats going on in my life.
1. Dreams never die, the dreams I had as a teenager still live on in me and no matter how I try to conform they are always there.
2, if you run from your dreams you will unhappy, you will blame those around you for missing your chance at the big time.
3. you will always have the two most harmful words to your soul burning within you, what if?
This year I have learned that my life although it contains compromise, does not mean that I must sacrafice my personality or ambitions.
For the first time in my life I am having my cake and eating it. My first years of marriage and Motherhood seemed to consist in me emersing myself in the house, the children, calling then me. I was helping everyone else but felt desperatley that I was lost.
In desperation I went back to work, then college. Whilst I finally felt appreciation for my efforts and saw the immediate rewards from college, through grades. I felt harrassed, stressed and when I did see my family I was tired and spent and not what I should be as a Mother.
Now I have realised that while I do need to compromise slightly, I do not have to surrender myself. I do not only have to be a Mother or wife.
The Lord has led me to where I need to be and he has given me what I wanted and let me realise for myself, where I need to be.
Right now I am at home with my children. And the other day as I was contemplating where my life was going I realised I had ended where I had always wanted to be, but had not realised it.
From a young age I loved literature, I loved disapearing into other worlds, being left breathless and exciting merely by word on a page and imagination. I longed to be a writer but felt this would never happen. I also wanted to help others, so went back to College to train as a psychotherapist. But knew that if persued that professionally , it would take over and my Family would suffer and I did not want that to happen.
The Lord is ever present in my life because through my trials he has taught me that I am of worth I have work to do. I know that through my writing and and my knowledge of the human mind combined I will touch people.
For those of you struggling to find their way remember this. Every time you are struggling wait a while, be strong and look back. There is always a reason. Your trils will make you strong, lead you the right way or teach you something you needed to be learn. Just be ready to learn and all will be well.
Oh my gosh !!!!
This summer has been so stressful. Our house went on the market Last May and we got an offer stright away and October we are still here. !!!
The amount of messing around people do is astounding. People just lie to you all the time to get the house and give you half truths.
Today the second surveyor came around, poking around everywhere. I understand now why some people never move.
I have decided that I don't care. I am not gonna let the stress of all this get to me, or the money we have lost over other peoples dishonesty.
I'm taking my life back and refusing to be a victim. We have put the house back on the market and told the so-called buyers they'll have to contend with all the other offers.