I took off for a bit to do some serious thinking about life and just how things should be.  I was really having a rough week this week, but at least my friend's baby is doing better.  He had a hole in his heart that seems to have healed up, his lungs are doing a lot better and it sounds like he is going to make it just fine. It still will be a bit touchy for a while around him, but he has a very good outlook right now.  Thank you to everyone who was keeping this little guy in your prayers and thoughts. 

I also had one thing bothering me greatly.  I had someone I was talking to online that was going through a divorce and asked me out on a date. I realized what was happening and stepped back for a bit to think about what was going on. I also sent them a letter telling them I did not feel right about it at all.  It is good to have friends and to have fun, but to date someone who is married still is not right.  By the laws and the ordinances I took oath to, I could never do this.  This person also is now dating someone else that they met online, and it troubles me.  I fear that they may be stepping a bit out of bounds without understanding the reasoning and concept behind the rules.  I know just how hard it is to be alone, and how nice it is to have people to talk to when you are struggling.  But I also know that things should go in the proper order, that there is no question or grey areas where people could cause problems later. 

I love my kids too, and want to set the right  examples for them.  I know that  they watch what I do even when they are not around me, and I know that the examples and mistakes I make now reflect in their lives as well.  It has really been hitting home this week as my friends are all pushing for me to take up dating again.  I am not sure I am ready, but I do want to go make some new friends at least.  I love to get out and have fun.  I am one who is trying their best to live life the right ways and do things that my kids will be proud of.   I also know the value of taking time to really get to know people, to know what they are really like, and communicate the good and bad things both to them and from them to understand where they are coming from.  I know better than to rush in on a real relationship too, as those are built on trust, friendship, companionship and on truthfully getting to know a person.  The real friends take the time to know the boundaries, likes and dislikes you have, and listen and share their own as well. 

I guess I am just waiting for the right one to come along that is actually following what they say they are, if that makes sense.  I would like to see people with honest effort, with real intent, and with the real true light in their eyes.  I am not expecting perfect life, as no one is perfect, but I am looking for someone that is truly trying their best with life.   I know what Fther expects of me, and what I should be doing, and I will be following it for the rest of my days to the best of my ability.  I am not perfect by far or ever will be, but I am going to do the best that I can.  I pray that others find the answers to the paths they choose, and wish you all the best of blessings,

Maraleh

Tags: Thoughts Random Faith Hope Relationships