Fear

One day, driving in a borrowed 4-wheel drive vehicle, I was driving out of the city headed north toward a route along the river.  I glanced down at the gas gage and said to myself, “I should stop and get gas soon.”  I was alone and the path was new to me.  The drive was really beautiful and there were patches of snow on the ground.  Every now and then there were big potholes and the road was icy.  There was a big narrow bride that went over the river and some waterfalls on either side of me.  I was well on my way on this trip and the warning low few light came on.  My thought was “I really need to get gas and pronto.” He few little spots were gas stations stood were closed.  Not only were the gas stations I passed closed but I couldn’t get any cell phone reception along the route.  I kept driving and driving and praying yet even with the prayers I got more and more scared about running out of gas.  Geographically speaking, I was very isolated, it was late and cold outside.  I figured there had to be some gas stations between where I was going and were I was at the time.  K, recap, I was a LONG way away from an open gas station, the drive was new to me and time was running out.  I even asked somebody how far to the next open gas station and he said, “A long way away.”

I used to work construction-acoustical ceilings.  Heights are not my favorite thing in the world but I’d do it because it was my job and my duty.  One job I had to climb up and up and up the scaffolds stacked on top of each other.  Like 30 feet at least, maybe more, without a safety rail.  I had to hammer little clips onto the steal girders while standing on my tiptoes.  That was when I was afraid.  Looking down from that height and not having a sure footing while still needing to get the job done was difficult for me but I did it.  The other person on the job site was really scared.  The son of the owner of the construction company came to work that day and he climbed up the high scaffolds, looked down and his legs were shaking.  He didn’t even stand up all the way and then he climbed back down again (right away).  After climbing down he walked right up to the job foreman and told him “I’m afraid of heights, can I do something else?”  He was kicked off the job and was told, “I don’t ever want to see you again, GET OUT OF HERE!”  How do those two stories address the main thing I wanted to talk about in this blog.  Things like the above stories will happen again and again and the important thing I wanted to write about was how I can face life fears.  Ultimately I think it comes down to this, we will experience fears in this life but it’s about how we deal with the fears when they come.  If we stand our ground in spite of the fear then I think we are depending on God which is what he wants.  We will all experience fear at times.  Like the examples above knowing that God is present can help us overcome the fear.  God can meet our needs and he is able.  Even if God does not meet our needs like I see fit I still have him!  :)

Now it’s the economy, tons of clinic employees have been laid off.  The fear of how will I provide for my family faces me daily sometimes.  It is the assurance that God is with me and will provide.  He encourages me to continue.  He leads me.  There are many battles to be won.  I can face them and because of God’s strength I can overcome them.  I can chase them out.  Sometimes I’ll lose a battle but then I’ll keep working at it until I beat it through God.  It is God presence that will win it, not me.  There are many things that I cannot do alone.  It will be God not me.