The last week has been a rollercoaster for me.  I received a book that explains to me how to use the Atonement of Jesus Christ to overcome sins, temptations, bad feelings, depression, and other bad things.  As I was reading this book the last few days, I felt the Spirit lift me up higher and higher.  I felt very strong.  Then, Friday evening I read a few things on lds.net that depressed me.  Then my soul fell like a rock thrown off a skyscraper.  My soul plummeted and hit the ground hard.  I was feeling extremely horrible.

  Friday evening/Saturday morning was horrible.  Saturday afternoon was not much better.  I started my fast in the early evening.  Sunday came and I did something that I have not done in the seven months I've been in the Church - I testified! 

 I have not testified before.  I had to get thru a lot of nervousness to walk up there and testify. But I did it. 

 I've been wondering why Heavenly Father lifted me up so high during the week and then let my spirit fall like a rock on Friday.  I was wondering if there was a reason behind all this.  I think I found the reason - It was going to take a lot to get me to testify.  Heavenly Father knew that I really wanted to testify and that it was eating me up inside going for long and not testifying.  So, Heavenly Father had to make me much more humble to get me to testify.  He had to break down some of my hang-ups that were inside me so that I could fully put my Faith in Jesus and testify.  That's what He did. I know the rollercoaster feelings I have experienced was there to crush those bad feelings inside me, crush them to almost nothing, so that I would be able to divert more of my strength to Faith in Jesus and testify.  That's what happened - Father saw that I got thru it ok and Jesus gave me the strength. 

 I could not have testified without fasting.  I know fasting helped bring the Spirit in me more.  I know I would not have testified if I had not been fasting. 

 I also could not have testified without the support I have received from the posters of lds.net.  I would not have joined the Church without them.  I would not have testified today without them.  There are too many names to mention, so I will just say – all the posters helped me tremendously. Actually, all the posters did help me! 

I testified today for the first time.  And I did that for my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Brother, King,  and Redeemer Jesus Christ.  Amen. 

Tags: Testimony Faith Fasting