My biggest goal in this life has always been to be a mother. That's all I have ever wanted. I think every little girl, growing up, wants that. To have a baby in your arms. To see the innocence of a child. Knowing that what you do in your life will help shape that small little baby into the person it will one day become.

Over the past few years though, I have had this feeling. More than a feeling. It's like I know that I will never be able to have children. Something just tells me that I'll never give birth to a child. And I've always said i would adopt. But today it hit me.

In my patriarchal blessing, I am told I will be a mother of nations. And I realized today that maybe I was looking too deep into that statement before. Perhaps, all that means, is that I will be a mother to children from nations everywhere. Adopt around the world since I won't be able to have biological babies. Of course, none of this has been proven. I haven't gone to a doctor for tests or anything, but it was just a thought that came to my head. And while I would be completely okay with adopting children, and I would love those children as my own, a part of me still years to be able to have that baby that is a part of me.

I shouldn't even be thinking about these things. I'm not even close to marriage, and don't think that I will be close for some time. But these are just random thoughts that run through my head.