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Lexish
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Three Weeks
Posted On: 05/01/2008 17:00:38

He has been gone just a day more than three weeks. I must admit I only miss him in this aching way when I am not doing anything. I am sure that once I got on my trips this summer and start BYU in the fall that it will feel easier. I don't mean to sound self-deprecating, but once I have real friends again this will be easier. Right now, high school? I don't have real friends. I did at the beginning. I lost them all, I don't know why really. I just did. And now I am so ready to start over; I am a pretty nice girl :P 

I think I will get a letter from Ryan tomorrow. Maybe Saturday. But ever since I received one on a Friday I always hope it is Friday (because that is one day sooner than Saturday!) Really it is seven days no matter what. At least. 

The National AP tests are next week. Is anyone else on lds.org taking those? I'm taking Government on monday morning. I am sort of sad because the first time I ever took AP tests (last year) I got to talk to Ryan about it, and he helped me to study and he helped me to not worry. I'm not worried really now, but I just sort of want to talk to him. I know it would be inappropriate. I know that really if he called me I would get mad at him because he is a missionary! Geez! 

Also... it was easier to forget some things with Ryan around. It was easier to feel happy, and now I feel more like I did before I met him, a little depression really grows without a best friend to talk to. I'm sorry this is getting sad. I really just need a change. I'm so glad school is almost finished!

Tags: Missionary Girlfriend



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Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

From: MaidservantX
05/02/2008 08:44:08



From: Lexish
05/01/2008 17:58:19

Thanks, that is a good song. I've heard it on the radio a few times before. I want to make myself clear that I am a very independent woman (well, girl, I'm only 17!). I guess I was vague in my post. My mom suffers from a type of depression and I think I might too, that doubled with school and the stress of dealing with her emotions and my own and other people who seem to think I am the right person to turn too is a lot. When he was around I could hang out with him and forget about the more difficult things going on at home. That's all. He does make me happier, but I am also happy without him, it is just different right now. Almost an entire year of spending my free time with him changed me a little :) 

Anyway, sorry, I'm a little defensive I guess. Thank you though, I will always try and keep that in perspective and be content with any situation. I'll keep y'all updated, of course.

From: Kirajo
05/01/2008 17:25:18

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i_aBXDyRLlY


I know you guys didn't "break up" or anything. But this song is just such a good GIRL POWER song!! There is more to you than him honey!! Use this time to learn and grow as much as you can so when he comes back he knows you have become the independant mature woman he needs. A man should never make you happy, but happIER. :) Good luck I'm glad you are supporting him I'm sure he loves it!!! Keep us updated!


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