Time for Change

Dear Friends,

I have decided to make some pretty dramatic changes in my life and felt I should let those of you who might wonder what happened to me know where I am. For almost five years I have been a member of a website LDS Talk which recently merged LDS Forums. I have learned so much since I first joined the site. I joined in 2003 after losing my mother to cancer within a month of her diagnosis. I came looking for friends I could let down my superficial guard down with. I was hurting really bad with the sudden death of my mom and was very vulnerable to the words of others. I had never been so closely exposed to people who hated the church as I did when I first joined the site. I got taken in as I listened to some of the things they told me which was not a good combination… hurt and vulnerable. My faith was shaken as I looked into the things that I was told about the church that I loved so much and I was very confused. My oldest son got married to a very sweet girl in June of 2004. Then about a month later, I had the phone call that every parent dreads, “Your child has been hurt real bad can you hurry and get here?” My then 17-year-old son who was working at a tire shop had a tire explode in his face and was life flighted to our local trauma unit. He has in a coma for many days and some of the people I met here where my greatest support team and I could feel the prayers from all over the world. My son has gone though years of therapy, surgeries, and rehab and many have followed us through that journey as well. In 2006 I took my 17-year-old daughter and moved four hours away in a second home, away from my husband and son in order to help her onto a new path and better friends. The accident and rehab of our son had taken a toll on our entire family and it was now my daughter who was at risk. In 2007 she graduated from high school and we again moved back into our primary home with my husband and son, we were all together again doing well. My father had been diagnosed with cancer in 1999 but had been doing fairly well with radiation ect. but in Oct. 2007 we learned that he only had six months to live. I knew I didn’t want to have the same regrets of not spending enough time with my dad that I did with my mom I decided to make myself available to what ever his needs were. Beginning in Feb. 2008 my fathers’ condition began changing rapidly and we became more alarmed. We spent more than a few long visits to the ER trying to find something to make my father better. During this entire time my father did not complain... he was ever the optimist. I learned so much from those final months I was blessed to be with my father. I will be eternally grateful that I had the freedom I had to give so much time and service to my father, he passed away peacefully on April 28, 2008.

I have asked to be relieved of my responsibilities as a moderator at this site. I have learned so many things from my years here on the Internet. I have learned what doesn’t kill you can make you stronger. I have learned how it important it is to live everyday as though it were your last. I have learned how important it is to share your self with others. I have prayed for answers in my life and I believe that I need to move into another phase of my life. I feel like I have been awakened to something important that I need to act on. I will still be a member of this site and hopefully will still enjoy the friendships I have made here. I am so grateful to Heather for first developing her open concept which has kept this unique website thriving on the Internet. I will treasure the things I have learned in your company and I hold your friendships dear. I will not be far away and I plan to visit often so if I can help you don’t hesitate to call on me. I will tell you that my family actually cheered when I told them of my new plans to spend less time on the Internet. I have learned to stop while people still want more.

Thanks for everything.

Yours truly, Strawberry Fields

Remember our trials do not define us; they refine us.