I've been reading these blogs about marriage and it got me thinking about how I was prepared to accept my calling as a wife (not yet a mother). As a preface, I had an institute teacher that said the Lord prepares us for the next step in our eternal progression when that time is right; ie, he's not going to throw someone into a marriage, unless they've been prepared for it. I also had a friend that said "A person is ready for marriage, when they are ready to accept the challenges of marriage." I think that applies to any major life change.

When I was younger, I remember being offended at the thought that church leaders said women should stay in the home. No way! I was going to be an anthropologist or something and a wife and mother. There was no reason, in my mind, I should be confined to the home when I knew I had great potential to be great at other things. I had a couple friends who got married young, and I knew "They are sooo going to miss out on things. I'm not one of them."

I've always had a strong testimony of the church, but like most members of the church there have been and are issues that I've had to struggle with, study about, pray about in hopes of understanding better, and then eventually change my mind on. Being a wife and mother was one. Looking back, I knew the Lord was preparing me for marriage when I started having experiences, conversations, and inspirations that led me to defend members who got married young from attacks by people outside my faith. Then I began to realize, how important a role wives (and mothers) have and what an important step marriage is in everyone's spiritual progression. I looked back at those girls who got married young and realized that it's not for me or anyone to judge the choice they made; that's what the Lord needed from them at that time.

You guessed it; I ended up getting married in the Seattle Temple right before I graduated from college at the ripe old age of 20 and have been happily married for more than 2 years now. The Lord has given me the experiences/inspirations to change my mind about having children and being a stay at home mom since I have been married; it wouldn't have made sense for Him to prepare me for that before I got married, would it?! The Lord has a plan; He knows what he's doing...even if we don't.

In defense of getting married 'young': I love it. Granted, I was probably the oldest 20-22 year old you ever met; graduated from college, married, has a 'real' job, and drives a Volvo stationwagon. Nice. I understand that a lot of people who get married young have a tough time. However, if we are hearkening to the Lord and it is Him who says it's our time (not us saying it's our time), there is so much that can be learned. Because I was married young, my husband and I have really grown together. We didn't grow individually and then try to mash our lives together; our lives have grown together like two trees coming together to make 1 tree (corny, I know, but visual, yes?). If you look at the canopy, you only see the fruits of 1 tree; you only know there's 2 trees when you look at the roots. We've had so many experiences together that have made us close. We've learned basic life things togethers, we've struggled together, we've laughed, we've cried, and all that has made us a stronger couple. My strength is in us as a couple and in our marriage because that's really what I've learned to grow into. I don't want people to think I'm not a strong individual (I am; I have an opinion on just about everything), but I'd be willing to put the strength of our marriage and what we've been through together against that of anyone who decided to wait until they were 30 because they wanted to wait until they were financially stable, etc. I don't want people to think that I'm hating on people who get married when they're older, but I really think that a lot of people (even members of the church) judge those who get married young as "not knowing what they're getting themselves into" or "they're making their lives a lot harder on themselves by not waiting." Personally, age has nothing to do with it. The Lord's plan does.

This was way longer than I thought it would be, but that is my story of how I became converted to marriage.

Tags: Marriage