I come from something of a large family. I love all of my siblings, and I would like to think of the family as close, but it seems that I am becoming farther and farther away from them, but also getting closer and closer. It's something of a strange relationship with many of us. None of us are phone people; we will never take the initiative to call anyone, even though we enjoy getting phone calls from other people. Most of us do better with e-mail, we usually try and send out an e-mail to the family about our activities in each week, but it's not really personal by any means. Once a year, usually just after Christmas, we'll have a family reunion, with all of my siblings, their spouses, and all of their kids. This is a lot of fun, but again, it's hard to do anything on a personal level just because there are so many people. Counting my parents, my siblings, their spouses, and their kids, there are 35 people in my family. We do have a lot of fun, but it's just too crowded for me. I do not like big crowds. I really really don't like big crowds of strangers. Family is better, but it's still a big crowd. I would much rather talk with one of my siblings one on one. My oldest brother is the same way, so frequently the two of us will sit outside or somewhere and just talk with each other. As a result I'm probably the closest with him of all of my older siblings. This really bothers me, because we are a close family, I just feel alienated from them because I don't interact the same way as most of them do.
I've never really been close to the very oldest of my siblings. My oldest sister got married when I was three years old. I never really got to know her well in my home, so these family reunions are all that I know her from. It's gotten much better over the years, but she still sees me as the little three year old at her wedding reception.
This past week, I took the initiative to call each and every one of my siblings. It was a really good experience. All of my siblings appreciated the phone call, and I probably talked with each of them for over two hours. I always used to assume that if anyone really wanted to talk to me, they would call me, but this experience has helped me to realize that they all want to talk to me, they are just too busy with the hear and now to realize that they want to talk to me, because they haven't had time to think about it.
The other day I saw someone on campus as I was walking between classes that I recognized, but I could not remember who it was. I struggled over remembering all day long, and finally just after I went to bed that night I realized that it was my cousin. My first cousin. I think it's pretty pathetic that I don't know who my cousins are. This is because my parents have the same relationship with their siblings and kids that I do with my siblings and their kids. We get together once a year at family reunions, but there are just too many people that I can't get to know anyone. I don't want that to happen to my kids. I want them to know their cousins. I want them to be good friends with them. It's harder to do with such a big family, but it has got to be possible, and I realize that If I want to do it, it's going to have to be me initiating it because none of my siblings will because they are all just trying to keep their own homes organized and up and running. Taxiing kids, working jobs, cleaning, sorting... There are just so many things that they have on their plates. I understand that once I get married and have kids it will be considerably more difficult, but I can try at least.
Here is my challenge to everyone... especially anyone with a big family. Call your siblings! Call your aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, parents, grandparents, old friends that you haven't talked to in years but still send a Christmas card, call anyone that you really do want to keep in touch with.