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Don't we just love sundays...i know i do. They always make me feel a lot better makes my week start of a lot better when i go. tomorrow i have an interview again im excited i hope i get it. life is getting so much better yeah!!!! it seems to all be coming together now. time for dinner

i got my job! working with these kids is going to be so much fun. yes, i'll have a job i love. today we have Zone conference, we are doing what we call zoned out, its going to be a blast!!! i'll have to put more about it later i have to go set it up

been a long time...

i have to say, boys are just trouble...i hope someday i will find one who wont cause me heartack. i cant handle it anymore. i just want someone to love me and not turn it against me and turn it to pain, is that so hard to ask. why cant they just be honest are there any honest ones out there. or is that all i attrackt is scum? the ones who dont care about you or ur feelings all they care about is themselfs

im tired of it, i just want to be me again. i dont want to be tired all the time. i miss home, thats the hardest thing when you know your in the right place but yet it feels so wrong...i miss my family and friends. i hate not haveing friends and sitting at home all day, i have work now so that helps alot but i just want a friend someone to go shopping with or to even just hang out and do nothing, its better than doing nothing alone right?

is there something wrong with me that scares guys away...can they sense the depression in me, and run away...i try really hard not...guess i will never know.

so why does he have such bad timing...gives all the horrible news on THAT week... my emotions are already crazy up and down, and then he goes and makes it worse gosh no sense of timing

i think i have figured out part of the problem...i have forgoten to take my pill the past few days, im sure that is at least half of it. i usually have a reminder on my phone that goes off and tells me to take it but for some dum reason my alarm stoped working on it. grrrr so now all my reminders dont go off, kinda frustrating cuz im so forgetfull and so i have been missing alot of things latelly

man,i hate this syciel(sp?) of emotions when i dont take my meds. im so incredably onory right now, i feel like im going to yell at everyone and anyone who gets in my way. not good, what did we just learn. i choose right, is this different, cuz oh how i try but i cant keep doing it sometimes i just get tired of pretending.

Why cant life be a fairy tail...like cinderella, or sleeping beauty. someone to sweep me off my feet and take me to happy ever after. some day right, thats what my sister (who is married) keeps telling me...that it will just take time and then i will find him, but sometimes i wonder if i really will. or if i'll just find jerks my whole life

i wish i was better at knowing what to do and say. i really like him. but i cant tell, i havent heard from him is he just busy? or is he not interested. how do i find out without sounding despiret? will i ever figure it out. life is so hard. can i just be 10 again. when life was a breeze and the troubles consisted of what to play

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