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I have only been a wife for about a year now, but I am at a loss, I have always been the kind of woman to have a job and take care of herself and latley that has not been the happenings. I am staying with my parents since my husband is away in the Army just in Louisianna for a month but I have to be here since I just had a baby a little over a month ago and it is my first so we thought it would be a good idea to have a little help and since I don't have a job I flew to Idaho and I am not doing very well in my mothers home. She works since my dad got sick and can't anymore, and she wants to be at home doing what I am doing and I would give anything to not have to clean up after everyone. So we fight a lot and I try to see things from her side that this is her house and I need to do things her way but I am starting to think that the only one that can do things my mothers way is my mother. I think that it is never going to be good enough because she wants to be doing it and can't and my dad would love to not be sick and have my mom back home because when I am not here it is his job to clean toilets and make dinners and wash dishes. All I have to say is good luck. But this has also helped me to see that I want to be the wife to my husband that my mom has been to my dad. I want my husband to come home everyday and know that the house will be clean, the dinner will be ready, and that he can talk to me about the kind of day that he had. That is who my mother was to my dad and now that the roles are reversed I see the strain that it puts on them but they are doing it and they are adapting and they are happy for the most part. This has been hard but they are getting through it. It just shows me that the woman is supposed to be in the home and the man is supposed to provide and changing those roles is a challenge it is a trial that they have to get through. And I have to learn to be a softer woman and let my husband provide the financial things while I provide the nuturing things and it is going to be a trial for both of us I am afraid. But I just have to say that woman you need to fight to stay in the home because you can ask my mom it is worth fighting for it is worth having. It is where we are the most natural and we need to stay in the home and raise a family and not let financial things run us out of where we need to be. My mom had to leave and there are things that happen that can not be helped but make sure that it is a must when you leave and not a want. Learn to love homemaking and it will become a desire that you always have. It is in fact where we belong.

I have been doing a lot of reading in the D&C and I have to say that what the Saints went through is amazing but I think of the wifes of these great men like Joseph Smith. Emma Smith was an amazing, strong, and devoted wife. I just had a baby girl, she is 5 weeks now, and I think of the the numerous children that Emma lost and the numbers of times she had to go through that pain and suffering. I have so much respect for her, she has a special place in my heart now that I am a mother and I think of how devasted I would have been had I carried Isabelle and lost her in the end. It is almost to much for me to think about, and Emma stayed strong through so much, I don't agree with her leaving the church in the end but she lost so many babies and went through so much persecution and then lost her husband, not to mention she thought that her son should have been the next prophet of the church, and instead it was Brigham Young whom she really didn't like, that would have been a lot to handle all at once, I may have broken away in the end as well. She was so amazing, if I can handle half of what she handled and do it as well I will feel good about myself. What A Woman. And the devotion, she never questioned Joseph Smith, even when he introduced poligamy she stuck by him. In D&C there is a short section 3 or 4 I am not sure but the Lord tells Emma to be strong and to support her husband. It tells her to help him translate and not to be jealous that she didn't get to see the plates that she needs to do this and support him, that she will be strengthened by it and it will help her get through the hard times. She was devoted to him and watched as so many others got to see the plates and she wasn't allowed to. She saw her husband almost killed for them and through it she stood by and she supported him. She is a better woman than me I would have wanted to be rewarded for my patience and for my suffering and to know that others got to see it but that as a wife that had stayed so true I wasn't one of the ones allowed to see the Golden Plates that were causing so much pain and suffering in my life, I would be angry. But she did as she was told and asked and she compiled the book of hymns and helped in organizing and leading the relief society. She went with Joseph where ever he was promted to go when ever he it was that he was and she did it willingly. She rarely, I can't say never questions her husband when he takes her into towns and has no idea where they will stay or how they will get there next meal and she was often pregnant, I don't think I could do it, I question my husband now and he always has more answers for me than the Lord will provide. He can tell me an address to a house on post and can tell me when the next check is coming. I deal with so much less than Emma did and still I complain about what I have to go through. I am so blessed and I need to see those blessings and thank Heavenly Father for them. It was one of the topics in conference being more grateful for what we already have. I need to do that more. But studying the Saints and especially Emma Smith it makes me realize my blessings. I am so thankful for that.

I have been married for almost a year but my husband and I have spent more time apart then together because he is in the Army and they seem to want to keep us apart. We are starting our family, I am pregnant and have had to do it mostly alone. He has been training for three months missing almost the entire second trimester and was in AIT when I found out that I was pregnant and had to tell him over the phone and he got back and was here for a month and then left for his duty station and we had to wait for 2 months before I got there. It has been very hard but we have written letters and emails, taken pictures of everything we do, we talk on the phone as much as possible, it has been hard but doable. It has been a testimony builder for me because my husband is not a member but when we moved from Idaho to New York he has been more than willing to go to church with me so that I wouldn't have to go alone. It gives me hope that he will accept the gospel some day and I am so grateful to my husband and my Heavenly Father, I have had so many blessings come my way since I have had to be so far away from everything that I know. The only two things that have been steady in my life have been my husband and the church. It was and is very reassuring that those things never change.