Was being adopted ever a problem for me growing up? Of coarse not! At least to my knowledge it hasn’t been. I am quite proud to say that I am adopted. Even though there are times when I wish, almost desperately, that I still lived with my birthmother, if it weren’t for the power of adoption, I would have never found the truth of the gospel.

Living in a foster home really isn’t as bad as most of the horror stories that most of you have heard. It’s just a family, like yours and mine, who take kids in. To love and nurture them as they were their own children until another family comes to take them away to adopt them. My brother, sister and I were one of the lucky ones. We had a great foster family. We lived with them for three years before anyone decided to adopt us. During those years, I was so lost, confused and lonely. There were even times that I didn’t feel like living. I almost gave up until I went to a church camp (it was like Youth Conference, I guess), and one of the talks was on how much our Savior loves us. How much He cares for us when at times seems like no one else does. I still remember sitting in that sanctuary on a hot summer afternoon. What a peaceful feeling I had received.

Do I know the circumstances of why I was given up for adoption? Yes, I do. My birthmother was a single mom taking care of three kids and working the “graveyard shift” every single night. I can see how that could be frustrating. Always trying to find someone to watch your kids every day would be a hassle. But I do remember when she had gathered my brother, sister and I into the living room to tell us that she was thinking about giving us up for adoption. I thought she was just playing around at first, but then things got serious. She said that she really had no intensions of giving us up, but she felt compelled to because she only wanted what was best for us.

When we left our mother, I was only nine years old. So I didn’t really fully understand the reasons for her decisions but I gave in anyways.

To this day, I still have no idea whether or not she still lives in the trailer park in Ravenna, Ohio, or even if she is still in Ohio for that matter. But I do know that she is married to a man. Who he is, is beyond my knowledge. I would love to have the opportunity to find her. That is one of my deepest desires.

Peace and love,

One of the things in which we had done was a still moments journal, where everyone found their own little quiet spot somewhere, secluded from others. Once there, we were instructed to write in our journals three worst faults we had. I’m not going to share with you mine because they are personal. Next, we were to set a few goals that we intended to follow to overcome these faults. Then, we were to come up with a few questions to ask our Heavenly Father in a “personal interview” with Him. Only after we had completed all these, somewhat difficult, tasks were we able to open our letters from our parents, guardians, or whomever.

Mine happened to be from my mother.

While reading it, I just started bawling. The reason? Well, I’ll quote the section that really touches me.

“You are an irreplaceable part of our family—and without you, our family would be incomplete. You hold a special place in my heart. I love you—beyond my ability to express. I am grateful for the privilege to be your mother. You make my life better, and you always will”

After reading that passage from my mother, I had finally realized how truly blessed I am to be adopted into such a loving home and family. That goes for being adopted into the church as well, because without it in my life, my life probably wouldn’t be worth living.

My love for my mother has never once been express to her verbally while she was here on earth with us. Yes, I most definitely regret not telling her how much I love and care about her, but I will have the opportunity to see her again in the next life. A life that shall be lived in the Celestial Kingdom, with our Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

So, I really have nothing else to add here. I just thought that I would share some of my findings and feelings with you all because I love you so much. Y’all are such great people, and I wish the best for you everyday.

Good luck in all you pursue!