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So, recently in my marriage preparation class we started a discussion on the "right person" and how one might go about finding "the one." Something that was discussed quite a bit was the idea of a "soulmate."
Do they really exist? Is there only one person out there for everyone? There was much debate on the subject. Some said that they did believe there were soulmates because when one is widowed and then remarried then that would explain how you were able to be happy again. Others said no because how would it be possible for everyone to have only one person in the whole world that they could be happy with and what if that one person lived in China and you never had the opportunity to meet and fall in love? Both are fairly legitimate arguments. I personally have always been taught that any righteous man and woman can be happy together. Granted, you may be happier with one person than another, but any couple can make it work as long as their heart is in the right place. President Spencer W. Kimball says that "Soulmates are fiction and illusion..." President Boyd K. Packer teaches us that it is a matter of "choosing rather than seeking." SO...if te idea of having a soul mate is false than it is up to us to CHOOSE out of the endless possibilities who would be the best eternal spouse for us. As long as we have a testimony and prayerfully consider our options we cannot make a WRONG choice. So, instead of looking for "the one" maybe we need to focus more on becoming a right person for marriage and checking out all of the flavors at Baskin Robins.  

Tags: Marriage Soulmate

Today in my Marriage Preparation class i learned a new word, "amae." "Amae" is a Japanese word used to describe the need we have as human beings to belong; the attachment we have to others; and our longing to be loved by others. The German translation for amae is "freedom through emotional security." This led our class to a discussion on self-esteem. The question was brought up of whether or not self-esteem was required to love another person or whether it is through loving others that we gain self-esteem. There were some mixed opinions and ideas in class, but for the most part we decided it was the latter. Though this response does make sense to me, I beg to differ. I believe that it is both. In order to love another one must have the faith that the person one loves is not going to hurt them. If one does not feel of value and understand that they are something worth loving too than it is going to be hard for that person to love another. Without the confidence to open themselves up and make themselves slightly more vulnerable it would very hard to love another person. In addition to that idea, however, is that once a person can get past that first step of opening themselves up to the possibility that they might end up hurt they will gain even more self-esteem than what the initial leap of faith took. It is through loving others that we are loved. And t is through being loved that we gain our own understanding of self-worth. It is all a big cycle. It is hard to say that one aspect is more important than the other. Without one the other could not exist.   

Tags: Marriage

Everytime i come to this class i get such mixed feelings. Part of me looks forward to marriage because  can't waitto have that kind of bond with a worthy priesthood holder. The other part of me says something like "Hmm-mmm....nope....no way. Give me about 40 years and ask me again. I might be ready by that time." There is so much responsebility and fine print that they don't tell you about in the disney movies. I feel misled. All of it makes sense, but it jut seems so hard and challenging. How do you make sure that you are both sharing the responsebility equally???How do you live with the little things that people do that i am sure will drive me nuts and that he will have??? Just thinking about it makes my hair stand on end. No wonder your hair turns gray with age.

In class today i learned something i never would have learned or thought about on my own. I learned that the union between a man, woman, and the lord is just that - between a man, woman, and the lord. This is somethingi understand butam struggling with. I understand why you should keep things betwee you and your spouse and not your parents. I see what kind of tings can happen when you involve others if you are not careful. But that doesn't change the fact that i've always looked forward to talking to my parents for advice when it came to my future marriage because they have sucha successful marriage themselves. I think this is something i am going to sruggle with for a while.

One thing we talked about today in Marriage Prep was the fact that marriage is like a triangle. There are Three points - the husband, the wife, and the Lord. We were talking about how not everyone understands this concept and practices int in their marriage. So, after i was thinking. How could you even consider having a marriage with out letting the Lod be a part of it? I can not hardly comprehend what a marriage would be like if it were just the union between a man and woman. All of the things you would miss out on, all the blessingsyou would not have in your life from a day to day basis. There would be so many more trials and hardships and there would seem to be less hope without the Lord. Why would anyone even consider gving that up???

Why am i taking Marriage Prep???
Well, that's an interesting question. No, i am not planning on getting married any time soon. That's for sure. And, no, Cory and i are not even considering marriage, so that is not the answer to the question above. So, if i'm not planning on getting married any time soon than WHY am i taking this course? Because though i am not planning on getting married any time in the near future I know that eventually i will be married. And since marriage is probably one of the most important things that we as children of our Heavenly Father will ever engage in here on earth then i want to do all that i possibly can to make it the best. Marriage is a sacred ordinance that i would hope that every one could partake of. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. We all need to treat marriage like it is - sacred. We need to take it seriously and honor the covenants we will one day make if we haven't already. That is why i am taking Marriage Prep.