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Wow. Out of all the subjects on dating or marriage I think this is one of the most critical. There are so many things that you have to be so careful with in a physical relationship.  I really like Elder Holland's talk "Of souls, symbols, and sacrifice" on the matter of sexual intimacy being a symbol and a union of the souls.  It is not something that should be taken lightly and brushed aside as unimportant.  Because we are sexual beings by nature, we are born with a sexual desire. But what I found most important is the deciding factore of your sexual desires being between a physical drive or a spiritual motivation.  It is so important that we recognize the divine power that we have to procreate and bring children of God to this earth.  Because of that, we, as single adults, must be chaste.  We must have the desire to only unify in that sense when we are sealed to our eternal spouse.  In my marriage preparation class, we talked about the difference between non-physical and physical intimacy.  In my current relationship, it took a long time for us to become physically close.  Because of this, I am so grateful for the wonderful friendship that we have.  However, once we moved over to physical intimacy, things obviously changed.  I think it is important to determine each others motivations in this aspect.  My boyfriend and I stepped back recently to examine what we really wanted in our relationship.  Was it all the physical? Or was it that great, lasting friendship that we had established from the beginning?  Although we were love being with each other, we still have so much to learn about each other.  We decided that we need to keep that wonderful non-physical intimacy with us, or else our motivations would be completely in the wrong.  I am so grateful for the counsel that we have received from prophets and apostles about being physically and morally clean.  I know that if I keep these sacred laws that I will be eternally rewarded, as well as grateful for a man who respects and honors those laws. 

I feel like there is so much more to marriage than just the couple. There are two distinct individuals whose two very different lives are being brought together into one. But more importantly than bringing their lives together is their individual self worth. It is very important to me in my marriage that my husband and I first recognize our potential as children of God. This is something that is very important. I just recently wrote a paper about different experiences that influenced me as an adolescent. But the thing that really struck me was that they all really helped shape who I am. All of those experiences were helping me develop my own personal sense of self worth. I realized that if so many of my experiences as an adolescent helped develop my sense of self worth, there are going to be that many more that will shape me as I get married and begin to raise a family. Although it will be in a different sense, I will still be influenced by all of my decisions and the person I am will be the result. While still focusing on the individual, I understand that there will also have to be a great deal of selflessness. A marriage with two people with feelings and emotions and opinions has got to be filled with caring and love and selflessness. It would not seem likely that a marriage would succeed if each individual weren't striving for the same goals, while setting aside the other's weaknesses in the process. I know this sounds like a lot of ramblings to you, but to me it seems like the key to a successful marriage. I am so grateful for the sense of self worth that my mom helped me to develop as a young girl and a teenager. I am now able to stand alone and know who I am. I know that this will be beneficial to me as I continue to grow and develop towards a preparation for marriage.

I have always known that I have to become someone that someone else would want to marry, but it wasn't until class a few weeks ago when we talked about truly becoming someone that someone else would want to marry.  We can make all the lists we want about the hair color, eye color, height, smile, personality, sense of humor, car, clothes, etc., but if you think about it, does all of that really matter? Well, yes! BUT in a way... I want the person I marry to be my best friend.  I want to be able to get along with him well, even if our personality's don't mesh perfectly.  However, I can sit here and want all day long, but without doing anything to change myself, my wanting is hopeless.  If I want someone who has a firm testimony, I have to have a firm testimony.  If I want someone who loves his family, I have to love my family.  I have to become that someone that I want to marry.  There are so many important things that I must do in order to get to that point in my life.  I have to know what I want, first of all, and then decide if that is feasible.  I can't necessarily say "I want to marry a multimillionarie with dark brown hair who will fly me home to see my family every week!" I need to be reasonable in my criteria, while still keeping within my standards.  I realize that there is still alot of work for me personally to do before I am ready to be married to my spouse for eternity.  As long as I keept working hard and striving for my well thought-out goals, I know that I will be able to succeed in the selecting of a spouse.  I will be able to become the one I want to marry, not just sit and wait for him. 

It has been taught that a mother's primary responsibility is to love and nurture her children.  I think that this is so important for women of the world to understand.  Sure we can make food, clean the house, pay bills, and run kids to soccer practice, but that is not the most important part of our role as mothers.  I think doing puzzles, playing beauty salon, reading the scriptures, teaching them to pray, reading stories, and playing outside with your children is important for a loving and strong relationship to develop.  There is so much that I can do to prepare now to be a wonderful mother.  One of my favorite talks in this past fall General Conference was the talk by Sister Julie B. Beck.   She spoke about being "mother's who know".  I am responsible for raising righteous children unto the Lord, and it is my calling to be a mother who knows.  When I know who I am, and who God is, I will have great power for good in the lives of my children.  If I desire and attain the wonderful attributes of motherhood in this life, then I will have that power with me for eternity. Sister Beck talks about homemaking.  We should be the best homemakers in the world!  I have the power and influence to raise my children the Lord would have me.  To accomplish this, there is so much that the women of the church can do to create a generation of stalwart children who will dedicate their lives unto the Lord.  Although I am not yet a mother, I can prepare now to do things that will benefit the lives of my future children.  The decisions thats I make in my life right now will effect the way that I raise my children.  I know that if I live my life to the fullest right now that I will oneday be a mother who know's, a mother who can stand before the Lord and tell him that I raised my children in love and righteousness. 

I think I say this everytime, but I am so grateful for the promise I have of Eternal Marriage! It is such an exciting prospect that I can be married for all eternity to the one I love most.  I learned recently about the principle of contract vs. covenant relationships.  I realized that I can't just expect, expect, expect.  I also have to "practice what I preach".  I can't expect so much of my spouse, and not give anything in return.  I often wonder what my contribution to the marriage will be... It's definately an interesting prospect!  When a couple thinks about marriage as an ordinance, I think it brings an entirely new perspective.  In all of the covenants we make with the Lord throughout our life, such as baptism, confirmation of the Holy Ghost, etc., it is a two way relationship with us and the Lord.  However, in a marriage covenant, it is a three way relationship, including both spouses, as well as the Lord.  If a couple truly realizes the potential they have in their marriage if it is a covenant marriage, they will become so successful.  I'm not saying they won't have trials and problems in their marriage, but those trials will become easier to handle with the Lord so near by. I love looking at my older sibling's marriages and seeing their happiness.  I can only imagine that they have a special relationship between their marriage and the Lord.  What great examples! They have learned to be happy, successful, and worthy partnerships before the Lord.  If only we could all pattern our marriages after such great examples.  I know that although I grew up with a single mother, that she will have her covenant renewed with a worthy priesthood holder that loves her beyond anything, and she will be able to be sealed in an Eternal Marriage Covenant.  I love my family and the wonderful examples of faith and devotion they have set for me throughout my life.   

Well friends, here I am again! The past couple days in class, we talked alot about Eternal marriage and families.  This opened my eyes to many new perspectives on the matter.  I've really come to know that the family is central to the Lord's eternal plan.  I just found out, literally minutes ago, that President Hinckley just passed away.  This breaks my heart to know that I will never see his smiling face in this life again.  But I do know that he is being reunited with his sweetheart.  It is such a bitter-sweet occasion, because I know that he must be so happy to finally with his dear wife again, although us, as members of the church, are in a state of mourning for our beloved Prophet and seer of the Lord.  I am so grateful for the wonderful example and man that Gordon B. Hinckley was, and the incredible life he lived.  He was in a position of such influence, and used that power to spread the light of the gospel to the entire world.  What better example can we have then from a man who dedicated his life to serving the Lord.  I know that I will miss him terribly, but I also know that the Lord has a time for everything.  President Hinckley lived a life that will be remembered by millions of people.  I realize that we need to keep his influence spreading throughout the world, and not let it end with his passing.  I think one of the most important things that we can do is to remember the emphasis he placed on families and the strength they have.  I am listening to a song right now that is called "Remember".  It is sung by a young family who sung it for a family conference in Europe a few years back.  The purpose of this conference was to make a law in Europe stating that people couldn't have more than 1 child.  The song was written for this family of young children talking all about the family relationships that we have and that can't be sacrificed for anything.  I can't help but cry everytime I hear this song, because of their sweet tender voices proclaiming the message of the family with all the strength of Lord behind their wonderful message.  "Remember our homes, the safeguard of peace. Remember the Children who look to you to keep tomorrow free.  Remember God; Remember his love.  He calls to us: Remember".  I am so grateful for the Love that my family has for each other.  This is what eternal life is all about; being with those we love forever.  The law was not passed supporting the illegality of plural children. However, shortly after they performed this song, the family was in an accident and four of the five children were killed.  What an amazing opportunity this family had to share their talents with their strong love for the family unit.  I know that the family is ordained of God, and I can testify that we will be blessed with the wonderful relationships we have with our family members.  I hope whoever is reading this can take the time to show their family how much they love them, and dedicate that service to the Lord. 

So its the beginning of the semester, and i'm already beginning to be stretched!  I signed up for a marriage preparation class, not expecting to have to do something so out of the ordinary.  To be completely honest, I am not the type of person that would normally create and write blogs; its just not my thing.  So this is going to be an interesting semester! We actually haven't started talking about marriage yet... but what we have discussed has been quite interesting.  We were assigned to read an article by Elder Ballard, given at the graduation ceremony of BYU Hawaii.  He spoke alot about the power of words, and the ways that words can be used for good, as well as for bad.  He talked about the internet as well, and its similar uses, good and evil.  It was interesting to hear about the people in his speech, and the creative ways they began to spread the gospel.  I think that this will be a very new and challenging experience for me to keept up a blog.  But I am going to try and do it for the right reasons; because I want to be a part of the spreading of the gospel.  I hope that some of my thoughts and feelings will be read, and spread across the country, if not the world, and people will be able to feel of my testimony and heartfelt desires for the people of this world to become a family rearing people.  I know that without the family unit in our lives, we would fail.  I don't know how else to put it.  That is the Lord's Plan.  We were sent here in the family unit to learn to love and succeed together.  I heard a quote today that I really loved.  It goes something like this: We are put in families to help each other solve problems that we wouldn't have if we weren't a family.  I know it's kind of confusing, but I think it's very true!  We have challenges together, but we can solve them together if we have the help of the Lord, and are working righteously.  I love my family beyond anything in this world, and I hope whoever is reading this can feel the same for their own family.